Have to answer each part in turn...
Difficult, but not impossible. Side mount sure is a floppy mess when you start adding more bottles or a rebreather.
Can you feather a backmount valve?
I remember jumping in with backmount and doing the customary flow-check, ensuring that the valves were in the right place, i.e. open. I found my RH valve was so tight I couldn't turn it because it's behind my shoulder and there's no leverage on the valve whatsoever. Had to ask another diver to turn the valve, blowing my "self-resilience" out of the water.
Looks like wreck divers avoid it, and cave divers love it.
Have seen plenty of wreck divers in sidemount. Agreed, it's not great with more than one decompression cylinder and even one is a bit awkward. What I have observed is that the people who dive sidemount off boats are generally pretty good; they don't faff around and interfere with other divers as per the myths.
You dont have to run a manifold. You can have 2 completely independent sources, if you feel the need.
Independent twins is great. But... you can't feather valves and the hoses are routed behind your head. Thus if you've a rupture or other issue it's the inefficient arm behind the head to try to shut it down. No feathering. Of course you can just say soddit and let the gas go and just abort the dive on the remaining tank.
It's also sloppier on a boat or ladder. Your rig is always split and jiggles like a clocks pendulum, if that clock was made from jello.
Again, depends how you rig the things. If you've a bottom boltsnap and a top bungee, it is as sloppy as hell. But who does that? You rig your chest D-ring
s with two per side, one a couple of inches lower than the other. The top one is used for clipping crap onto in the normal manner, the lower is use for clipping on your standard stage-bottle rigged sidemount cylinders. Use a man-sized boltsnap (easier, stronger, longer) and the tank sits under your armpit as per a floppy bungee.
The main benefit is you can walk around the boat with your stages in place. Better than that you can leave the bungee hooking on until you're in the water as it's a b'stard to put the bungee in place when sitting down on the bench. Same with getting out of the water on the lift (I know you Americans love to climb ladders...
), you unhook the bungees in the water and let the cylinders fall forward so you're narrower.
Standing on the dive lift; these two ali80s were bungeed to keep them flat during the dive. Can't see the bungee in the pic (it's covered by my arm), but it was definitely used as per every dive. You can see the two chest D-rings either side; the RHS shows the white cylinder clipped off to the lower D-ring and dangling under my armpit, with the spare double-ender and scooter clipped to the upper D-ring.
I'd rather be tall, than wide.
It's only as wide as you make it! Diving with bailouts is just the opportunity to sidemount them and keep them properly under control.
Sidemount ain't without its own drawbacks.
Agreed. But there's options.