Dealing with over-enthusiastic parents and spectators - The Parent's Perspective

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garyfotodiver

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Location
Chicago, but dive in FL. Not true anymore, as I di
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This is the text of a private message I sent to El Orans after reading the thread in the Instructor's forum about "Dealing with over-enthusiastic parents and spectators". He suggested I start this thread.

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Concerning this topic, you ought to let we parents, the ones who pay for our children's classes, have a say.

In my case, I choose the instructors after having that one-on-one with them, peek into the class and the pool once, and then leave. If there is an issue between student and instructor, I act as a mediator/advocate to resolve the issue.

If I wanted to teach my children, I would. However, I want them to not pick up my bad habits (of the old-fogey dinosaur type) and to get the benefit of others perspectives.

Having said this, I did get too involved during my daughter's check-out dives and was called on it by both the instructor and the boat captain. They were right and I backed off. We are friends and we have the same desire to produce well-trained divers. So in the end, I learned a lot from this experience. That's when I decided to take advanced courses that would help me become a better diver...

Hopefully, by this time next year, I will have an SSI Dive Con qualification listed in my signature.

Gary
 
Having said this, I did get too involved during my daughter's check-out dives and was called on it by both the instructor and the boat captain. They were right and I backed off.

Good for you for both getting involved, and being able to back off. I didn't read the original posts, but it sounds like you were just the right amount of involved to me...

Tom
 
Hopefully, by this time next year, I will have an SSI Dive Con qualification listed in my signature.

Have fun! It's a great class, but you're going to work your butt off for it.

Terry
 
I'm a PADI Open / Advanced Open water diver for about 10 years now and recently had my kids complete a SSI course at a LDS. I did a pool recert the same weekend so I was able to sit in on the class. Before the kids went to the class, I made sure they knew many of the key teaching points from the PADI books (I regularly review them on plane rides down to dive somewhere warm). After each session, we would talk about what they learned so I could re-inforce anything they weren't clear on and there were differences between the PADI and SSI details; however, it allowed us to engage in conversations to make them think and understand the purposes of the safety guidelines and procedures.

With the pool recert, I sat in on one of the classroom sessions. I was a little shocked by the instructor. He spent more time talking about his dive tales, politics and what things he thinks are a little too conservative for rec divers! On the flip side, his pool time was far superior to the stuff I did 10 years ago. After the weekend, the boys and I went over all the teaching materials from the book and we reviewed all the material from the exams. The teacher is an integral part of getting my children certified, but at the end of the day I am responsible for making sure they are safe and prepared for any activities in their life.

I never meddled in what the instructor did, but I tested my kids knowledge (as I do with any schoolwork as well) and made sure they were very knowledgable about the material. I challenge them to think for themselves when there are differences between what I was taught and what they were taught. I would worry about parents that don't get involved as we are ultimately responsible for making sure they are able to look after themselves.
 
I think the crux is in the title of the thread..."OVER-enthusiastic" is far different that simply "enthusiastic" when it applies to parents. Enthusiastic parents are eager, supportive, concerned, and watchful. When they become OVER-enthusiastic is when they press the envelope and begin to interfere in the educational process, thus compromising the professional's role as instructor.
Nope, I'm not a dive professional, but I AM a professional educator and have decades of experience with young people, instruction, and dealing with parents of my charges, both in educational venues as well as out of classroom settings such as Scouts, youth groups, etc...
Wise parents know when to step in and when to bow out. The trick is to become wise.
 
My orthodontist (which I went to as an adult) had a sign in the lobby that said something like, "Kids do best when their parents sit in the lobby. My policy is that you will sit in the lobby".

If he were a SCUBA instructor (and he was a diver by the way), he would probably have a sign that says, "you are welcome to sit, watch, and keep quiet. But if you interfere with or attempt to participate in the class in any way, either you or your child will have to leave."

That seems like a reasonable policy to me.
 
Mechanics had a sign that said basically:

Labor Rate 50.00 per hour
Labor Rate if you watch 60.00 per hour
Labor Rate if you help 100.00 per hour

Have the discussion with the instructor (or the parent) before any money changes hands and make clear your expectations and intentions for everyone.
It's much easier to remind them of the ground rules and pre-agreed upon expectations and intentions than it is to argue about it in front of the child.
 
Mechanics had a sign that said basically:

Labor Rate 50.00 per hour
Labor Rate if you watch 60.00 per hour
Labor Rate if you help 100.00 per hour

Labor Rate 200.00 per hour if you have previously worked on it

Was added to the signs that I've seen.
 
My orthodontist... had a sign in the lobby that said something like, 'Kids do best when their parents sit in the lobby.' My policy is that you will sit in the lobby.

During water safety instruction courses I have taught, those parents that insist on being on the deck and "helping" their kids are asked to leave the deck or they get a new instructor who doesn't mind being #2 on the kids priority list. We had a great spot for them to watch just outside the fence.

Nothing good can come from a parent hawking over the class, second-guessing the aquatics professional, or chiming in when they feel like it. It's a control-issue that will only hurt the students overall development and fun.
 
During water safety instruction courses I have taught, those parents that insist on being on the deck and "helping" their kids are asked to leave the deck or they get a new instructor who doesn't mind being #2 on the kids priority list. We had a great spot for them to watch just outside the fence.

Nothing good can come from a parent hawking over the class, second-guessing the aquatics professional, or chiming in when they feel like it. It's a control-issue that will only hurt the students overall development and fun.

I agree.

Spectate on the side somewhere and let the instructors do their job. Or else teach the kids yourselves.
 
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