scoobajay
Contributor
I may be fishing here….
My dive buddy and I, along with a small group, were following the DM through a series of swim throughs. We got a little spaced out and I watched the DM and the 3 other divers ahead drop pretty quickly out of site. When I got to the spot they disappeared from I saw the tips of some fins dissappear into a passage about 20 feet below me. I just wasn’t comfortable trying to drop that quickly to catch them so I followed their bubbles above. Buddy was following me as is our usual pattern and saw we were no longer with the group. I gave him a shrug and continued to follow the bubbles. I felt a tug on my fin and looked back but assumed I had kicked something (I’m kind of a hot mess sometimes) and kept moving along. A few seconds later I looked back again to see him finning hard in the opposite direction. I turned to follow and he gestured angrily for me to hurry up.
As it turns out, the current was really strong and I wasn’t getting very far. Soon, he was around the corner and out of site. As I reached the turn, I couldn’t see him ahead at all. I was getting really winded from swimming hard into the current and started to feel a bit of panic setting in. When I finally caught sight of him I signaled for him to slow down. He made some angry gestures and continued on as fast as possible. At this point we were around 30 feet apart (or what I consider too far to effectively handle an emergency situation, thus too far). I gestured at him twice more to slow down and both times he angrily swam faster and further from me. Now, for me, once I get out of breath, I feel out of control. When I feel out of control, I get an urge to end the dive. Like, Now.
Because I’ve dealt with panic attacks in a variety of situations I’m always able to breathe and rationalize my way out of them. It doesn’t make them any more comfortable, but I trust that I understand what’s going on in my mind enough to talk myself out of it. So I spent the next couple of minutes being still, breathing deeply, watching him get further and further away from me, knowing that swimming to keep up would only make my panic worse. Eventually, I made it to him and to the group and motioned to him that I needed to Buddy up because I was breathing too heavily. He acquiesced, stayed with me, and we finished the dive.
Afterward, I found out he thought I purposefully ignored the fin tug and was trying to swim away from the group to do our own thing. He thought my subsequent gestures were telling him not to slow down but to calm down bc he was mad.
IMO and training, your buddy is your lifeline and your priority over the group of other divers. Is there ever a legitimate reason for ignoring and swimming away from your buddy?
Btw, spouse is my dive buddy and you’re doing marriage counseling…
My dive buddy and I, along with a small group, were following the DM through a series of swim throughs. We got a little spaced out and I watched the DM and the 3 other divers ahead drop pretty quickly out of site. When I got to the spot they disappeared from I saw the tips of some fins dissappear into a passage about 20 feet below me. I just wasn’t comfortable trying to drop that quickly to catch them so I followed their bubbles above. Buddy was following me as is our usual pattern and saw we were no longer with the group. I gave him a shrug and continued to follow the bubbles. I felt a tug on my fin and looked back but assumed I had kicked something (I’m kind of a hot mess sometimes) and kept moving along. A few seconds later I looked back again to see him finning hard in the opposite direction. I turned to follow and he gestured angrily for me to hurry up.
As it turns out, the current was really strong and I wasn’t getting very far. Soon, he was around the corner and out of site. As I reached the turn, I couldn’t see him ahead at all. I was getting really winded from swimming hard into the current and started to feel a bit of panic setting in. When I finally caught sight of him I signaled for him to slow down. He made some angry gestures and continued on as fast as possible. At this point we were around 30 feet apart (or what I consider too far to effectively handle an emergency situation, thus too far). I gestured at him twice more to slow down and both times he angrily swam faster and further from me. Now, for me, once I get out of breath, I feel out of control. When I feel out of control, I get an urge to end the dive. Like, Now.
Because I’ve dealt with panic attacks in a variety of situations I’m always able to breathe and rationalize my way out of them. It doesn’t make them any more comfortable, but I trust that I understand what’s going on in my mind enough to talk myself out of it. So I spent the next couple of minutes being still, breathing deeply, watching him get further and further away from me, knowing that swimming to keep up would only make my panic worse. Eventually, I made it to him and to the group and motioned to him that I needed to Buddy up because I was breathing too heavily. He acquiesced, stayed with me, and we finished the dive.
Afterward, I found out he thought I purposefully ignored the fin tug and was trying to swim away from the group to do our own thing. He thought my subsequent gestures were telling him not to slow down but to calm down bc he was mad.
IMO and training, your buddy is your lifeline and your priority over the group of other divers. Is there ever a legitimate reason for ignoring and swimming away from your buddy?
Btw, spouse is my dive buddy and you’re doing marriage counseling…