Advice for traveling without dive buddy

[Tigerman]

Except if I was there the DM taking someone up would not mean Id end the dive.
Infact, that very thing has happened to me twice and both occasions most of the group has been "what now" untill where Ive signaled the DM that "me and my buddy goes THIS way" and waved him goodbye after the DM has given me the ok signal to indicate he knows where Im headed.
By then the rest of the group tends to go "oh, we dont need a DM, we have a dive plan, were certified divers and we dive the plan".

Me and my buddy has also "lost" the DM a few times (actually lagged way behind because of my camera), its no big deal as long as you pay attention to the dive plan, follow said plan and stick with your buddy.
The DM is there as a guide and as long as hes aware of what your plan is, theres no laws (anyplace Ive gone anyways) saying you have to follow them. There is circumstances where that would be a VERY good idea though, but that should be covered in the dive brief.

 

[AaronRiot]

Except if I was there the DM taking someone up would not mean Id end the dive.
Infact, that very thing has happened to me twice and both occasions most of the group has been "what now" untill where Ive signaled the DM that "me and my buddy goes THIS way" and waved him goodbye after the DM has given me the ok signal to indicate he knows where Im headed.
By then the rest of the group tends to go "oh, we dont need a DM, we have a dive plan, were certified divers and we dive the plan".

Me and my buddy has also "lost" the DM a few times (actually lagged way behind because of my camera), its no big deal as long as you pay attention to the dive plan, follow said plan and stick with your buddy.
The DM is there as a guide and as long as hes aware of what your plan is, theres no laws (anyplace Ive gone anyways) saying you have to follow them. There is circumstances where that would be a VERY good idea though, but that should be covered in the dive brief.

Good points and very true.

I guess it would depend on the situation too, if the diver needed medical attention on land I would hope the group would surface, however an 'ok' from the parties involved or if the issue obviously was not an emerg then dive on, right?

In my very limited experience I was under the impression that some locales required the dive to be guided and for the group to stay with said guide.

/hijack

 

[sixt3denied]

To the OP, I mean no disrespect so hopefully my comment will come over and be conveyed correctly.

I am fresh out of my open water certification and am looking forward to enjoying a chartered trip in the next month. I seem to be having difficulty finding someone to go with me so I will probably be partnered up with someone with more experience. I will probably be holding them back, and holding them down, however you want to call it. As much as I feel bad that I might be doing so, I also know if it were not for me, they would not be diving safely so regardless of what I can or cannot do, I know I am still there for them because if they end up in an emergency situation, me being green or not, I am right there with them.

To add to that, if it's so important that you get the most out of your money, I would suggest as others day and rent a dm. I would only assume the money would be well spent since it's such a difference to dive with someone experienced vs someone like myself.

Personally, if I got a vibe from someone that after talking to me, they were not thrilled to dive with me, I (meaning me) would ask for a different dive buddy. I don't want to dive with someone that does not want to dive with me. That will ruin my dive too because I will feel guilty the entire time and may end up making a mistake or do something beyond my capability in fear of hindering my buddy's experience, and which could lead to a accident of some sort.

Again, not trying to bash or put you down. I can understand your frustration, I can understand why you don't want to be with a newby, but please you need to realize there are ways around it such as hire someone to dive with or bring someone with you. If you do not want to do either, maybe you need to just be a little more understanding and appreciate you were once that person that cut other people's times short.

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Ysuboy,

I totally get what you are saying - and so that I am not misunderstood - Let me just repeat that I have no problem diving with a buddy that is less experienced, or even fresh out of their OW cert. I am happy to help a fellow diver. I have very often assisted others on the boat with getting their gear set up correctly, given advice on proper weighting, explained to them how to check their buoyancy, discussed dive plans, kept an extra-watchful eye on them if I think they needed it, taken some of their weight off them on the bottom if they were still over-weighted, even once had to grab a guys leg to keep him down as he began to uncontrollably ascend. I am sure that many of the fellow SB members do the same on their dive trips.

The point of my original post is that there have been times when there are maybe 8 people on the boat (including myself), and 6 are already partnered up. There is only 1 other person (plus myself) that have no buddy. So naturally that lone diver is the one I am most probably going to be partnered up with, unless I want to tag along as a threesome. There have been times where that lone diver is a fantastic buddy! But there have also been just as many times when he really doesn't belong in the water. We are certified so that we have the basic skills needed for good / safe diving. I am sometimes shocked that some divers got their C-card and yet lack or are unfamiliar with these skills.

So i am trying to avoid the situation where i have to focus the majority of my attention NOT on the amazing sights of the reef/wreck/sea-life etc, but rather on an insta-buddy i am diving with that is for all intensive purposes a "train wreck". Regardless of whom i am buddied up with, i have ALWAYS had the conversation with them about our experience level, what our comfort level is with the dive we are about to do, so that we can gauge each other's abilities. Post-dive we'll discuss any issues that came up - ESPECIALLY if we are headed to a 2nd dive together.

Another forum member recommended posting a thread on the travel section in advance of my trips, looking for a dive buddy. That is a fantastic idea!

---------- Post Merged at 09:14 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 09:11 AM ----------

Go on the regional SB forums and ask for buddies, state your desired dive locations etc and you'll be surprised how many PMs you get. It has worked for me.

Excellent Idea!!! Thanks shoredivr!

---------- Post Merged at 09:24 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 09:11 AM ----------

Do not push the GF into it.

She actually loves snorkeling. She "kinda" wants to try diving - but she has a fear that she'll be eaten by a shark - LOL. So she tells me that she will eventually try it - just not right now. I'm ok with that, although it would be GREAT if my travel partner (GF) was also my dive partner!

---------- Post Merged at 09:28 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 09:11 AM ----------

I understand the OP. I've had three pure "instabuddy" experiences in my diving life (meaning being on a boat, and getting in the water with someone I never met before that day, and previously knew nothing about). Two of them were delightful . . . but one of those divers was GUE trained, and the other was UTD. The third experience was something entirely other . . . I did two dives with a couple of fellows who were long-term buddies, and neither was fun. We simply weren't on the same page at all, and nothing I could do on the second dive could salvage the situation.

Exactly!!!

 

[Searcaigh]

@ OP I hear you about spending loads of money on airfares, hotels etc on overseas or exotic dive trips, however in my own personal experience I seldom had a bad buddy compared to making loads of new friends and buddies with whom I have dived with on other trips, however these trips have all been SE Asia orientated, maybe that attracts a different style of diver than found in the Caribbean?

On one of my first solo trips I was buddied with an Ozzie girl who had just qualified and was diving at Bunaken, in Sulawesi. The DM / guide was excellent and when my buddy ran low on air he took her to the surface then came back down to join me to finish the rest of my dive. Lots of great experiences in Malaysia and the Philippines too.

 

[sixt3denied]

Just bumped into a similar thread on this forum under the "Advanced Scuba Discussion" section. Lots of other divers with similar experiences to mine. Link here: http://www.scubaboard.com/forums/advanced-scuba-discussions/344879-diving-without-buddy.html

 

[racerx_]

I feel for you on this one. Been through some weird buddy moments myself.

I do think there's some good advice given in this thread, but maybe a bit of empathy would be nice too I'm trying more and more to be a better/more proactive buddy which is really not the easiest thing in instabuddy situations, and in many places around here strong buddy protocols just aren't really the norm so you're kind of the odd one out if you start your own little briefing with your buddy etc (not saying that's any reason not to do it). Communication is obviously key and not succumbing to the pressure to say/plan nothing and just go along with the dive but it can be awkward at times. I've had dives with just me and the DM where they didn't seem interested at all in buddy checks which is a confusing situation for a newly certified diver. Personally, I'm working at every dive being more detailed/specific with buddies, getting a clearer picture of the dive plan from the DM (which is usually WAAAAAY less detailed than anything most people recommend here on SB ha), and generally trying to take more initiative.

That being said it really is hard to be a good buddy to some people. I was on a dive once with a dude from China who spoke no English (try having a dive briefing now haha), was way overweight (both physically and probably on his weight belt too), was constantly 10 feet above me and usually in a strange 'blind spot' that i've discovered in my mask so that i went frantically to the DM 3 minutes in to the dive saying where is the guy only to find out he was above me (zzzz). He then worked his air down to 50bar by 20minutes in to the dive. The best part of the dive was when the DM took him back to the boat and we continued without him haha.

I'm all for helping and trying to be a good buddy but its hard and frankly some people don't want to get better, they just want to see fish i think.

I do think if you are concerned about the buddy situation (which is understandable) you should state that to the DM and if you're planning to buddy up with them, then discuss that with them or you may be assuming something that they are oblivious to. Aside from that, i think diving is one of those sports where buddying up is just part of it for better or for worse cause its a safety issue both for you and the other diver.

 

[DivemasterDennis]

There are ways to deal with the instabuddy issues that can arise. Start with communicating- talk before the dive about experience level, last time diving, look over equipment, , talk about expectations for the dive, and planned activities ( ie photo, video, etc.) Especially talk about buddy proximity and awareness. I dove for several years before Debbie was certified, and had to develop a skill in spotting someone on a boat that appeared to be compatible. I actually got quite good at it, sometimes even making myself a part of a threesome to get a good "pairing." Rather than complain, pay attention and talk to other divers on the excursion. I often dove, and still dive, with new divers, who I enjoy as buddies. They remember their training and are aware of safety issue. They stay close as buddies, for the most part. I have a blog on "instabuddies" and include a few exerpts here for your further review:

When I have to dive with a "stranger," I pair up as early as possible, and talk to them. I ask about their last trip, their last dive, how long they have been diving. I look at their gear (brand new, rental, seasoned but well maintained, crappy, etc.) I tell them a little about me in the same areas. I ask if they have any objective for the dive ( want to go 100 feet, see a shark, find an eel, take pictures, etc.) It can all be a very friendly conversation. Within a few minutes we are not strangers. I then... work the conversation into a meaningful planned dive, with buddy check, orientation to each other's equipment, air use expectation and etc..... I have never had anyone object to the talk, and it leads to good planning, and good buddy habits in the water. Just be postitive, be nice, and be interested in learning about the other person. If there is a repetitive dive, let them know any changes you'd like, again in a positive manner- such as the roaming buddy issue. Say "that was a great dive, but I was a little tense when you took off after that ray. I'm more comfortable if we stay closer together as a buddy team. Is that ok with you? Just be pleasant and positive. ....

I really think if you take a positive approach you will have a better time. And you might find that your instabuddy can be alright if you communicate plan, and have a decent attitude.
DivemasterDennis

 

[racerx_]

Very well said Dennis. Now I need to brush up on my Chinese

 

[Kharon]

His advice was filled with inaccuracies and incorrect assumptions.

Seems to do that (assumptions) quite a lot.

 

[flots am]

My girlfriend doesn't dive. I AM working on "gently" persuading her to give it a try - but she is still very undecided about it.

Never mention SCUBA to her again. The ways it could go badly are nearly infinite and include consequences that range from sad to horrible.

As for the other part of your question, you have a few misconceptions.

The first is that the DM can be your buddy. Unless you hired an extra DM just for you, he has a whole group to watch and you can't actually count on him being there if you have a problem. Do a little googling on SB and you'll find a ton of information on "guided dives" and what you can count on the DM for (hint: "not much")

The second is that you're entitled to any particular level of dive buddy. The next time you get paired up with "the guy that is completely clueless, can't equalize, can't control his buoyancy, is totally over-weighted, is an air hog- etc etc etc." be patient and consider it an opportunity to help another diver. I guarantee that at some point, "he" was "you" and you cut someone else's dives short. It's time to "pay it forward".

Relax and enjoy the dive. If it's a little shorter than you would have liked, there's always the next time. Also, I would suggest joining a local dive club so you can dive almost all year.

It's also possible that your "instabuddy" will be awesome. When I first started diving, one of the guys I went out with was amazing. I was certain that he simply willed himself to move through the water and fins and tank were just for show. It turns out that he had been diving for decades and had thousands and thousands of dives. he didn't need me as a buddy any more than I needed two noses, but he didn't complain and we had a great dive even though I'm pretty sure I cut his short by an hour.

flots.