Coming back from a panic attack (following a v. minor incident)

Please register or login

Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.

Benefits of registering include

  • Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
  • A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
  • You can make this box go away

Joining is quick and easy. Log in or Register now!

RichWilx

Contributor
Messages
73
Reaction score
38
Location
UK
# of dives
100 - 199
Hello,

I'd like to tell you my story about how I recovered from a panic attack ... and didn't give up diving! To the more experienced, this incident will seem trivial. But to me it was profound and shook my self-confidence very badly.

First off, I think it's woth noting that I was a relatively inexperienced diver (20 dives) and I'd resumed diving after a 4 year break during which I did not dive once and had even sold my kit. When I decided I wanted to dive again, I found a local dive centre, went through a scuba review and then booked myself on dry-suit and nitrox speciality courses. On the weekend of the dives, my instructor and I made our way to a nearby quarry where we would do 2 drysuit dives on Nitrox. The following day, we would bimble around a couple of wrecks that had been sunk in the quarry.

The first dive started well, three of us - Instructor, DM and I - descended to about 6m (20ft) and ran through the drysuit drills. Once this was done the instructor suggested a bearing to a nearby wreck and, a little tired but confident, I agreed. We bimbled around the little wreck and squeezed in a "I'm the king of the world" before a quick pressure check showed that it was time to go. After nearly 30 minutes of diving, I was quite relieved that we were heading to the end. This had my first "real" dive in a drysuit with the ankle weights and along with a complete lack of bouyancy control I was feeling pretty tired.

A quick check of my air showed that I was heading into the red area on my SPG (50bar) and, my instructor - seeing this - decided to offer me his reg for a buddy share. This is where things went tits-up. I opened my mouth and put his reg in. Unfortunately, I forgot to exhale when my reg was out and suddenly cold water was filling my mouth.

Panic.

The panic itself was sudden. I was immediately aware that I was in a very hostile environment. I was underwater in some godforsaken quarry and not at home with my wife and children. The possibility of drowining seemed very very real. I had my instructors reg in my mouth but in my panicked state, I was not concentrating on locking my lips around the mouthpiece and so was taking in more water. I distinctly remember looking up and seeing the bright shimmer of the surface. That's where I wanted to be. Without a seconds hesitation, from 15m(50ft) I bolted for it.

Fortunately, my Instructor had anticipated this and already had a firm grip on my BC straps and was keeping me down. While I frantically signaled that I wanted to ascend (I think I was yelling blue murder at him through the reg at the same time), my instructor was calmly looking at me and signalling "no" and "get control of your breathing". This was hard, but certain messages kept pinging into my mind telling me that I knew how to dive, that my instructor knew what he was doing, that I was going to be ok. Slowly, I managed to get control of my breathing, and locked my lips around the reg so that I was no longer taking on water.

I looked around me and saw the DM off to one side, calmly ready to step in if needed. My instructor could see that I was back in control and I signaled an OK. He shook my hand and signaled an ascent. The ascent with safety stop passed uneventfully and I was very happy to surface.

In the hotel that night, during a bout of insomnia, I decided that I would never dive again. The risks are too great.

The next morning, I went down to breakfast and met the rest of the group who were sitting around the breakfast table sharing diving stories, making jokes and the the cruel-but-harmless banter that divers are so good at. I realised that this was my hobby and that. I wasn't sure I wanted to call it a day.

It was interesting that thoughts of getting in the water again were clouded by fear. I would replay in my mind, over and over again, those seconds underwater where I felt trapped and in genuine peril. This was something that nobody could talk me down from. All the well meaning comments of "you'll be ok" and "just jump on back in" were very welcome but they did not remove this shroud of fear.

I decided though that I was going to "man up" and get back in the water. And on that Sunday, I did a couple of shallow dives. I was terrified. My mind was running at a 1000rpm during these dives. Every action - every instant - seemed loaded with peril. Descending, ascending, equalizing, finning, using my dive light, checking my guage... everything... seemed dangerous and I could see points of failure everywhere. Still, without any sense of pleasure and with lots of support from my buddies, I made it through those two dives and I went home and had a long long talk with my wife.

In the weeks that followed, it became clear that the point of failure was me. The incident had occurred because I was out of practice, my skills were lacking and I had let myself become fatigued. All of this had contributed not only to the initial error, but to the panic that followed.

Once I got that, I realised that there was something that could be done and that I wouldn't have to give up something that I remembered having a deep passion for. So, I went down to the pool and started running through my skills over and over again: bouyancy, finning, mask off, free flow, regs out. I must have spent about 3 hours underwater over two or three days doing this before I went back to the quarry and dived again.

This time, there was still a sense of fear but it was much reduced. I enjoyed 4 safe dives but still felt a little uneasy and wasnt entirely disappointed to get out of the water at the end of the day.

Finally, a few days later, the opportunity came up to go on a decent wreck dive off the southern coast of England. It would be a boat trip with a DM and a buddy. I have always liked wrecks and so I agreed to go. The night before was rather sleepless and I felt a little nervous kitting up on the boat but as we descended the line to the deck of this WWI wreck, I suddenly realised that I was thinking about nothing else than what I was about to see. All the fear, all the hesitation had just disappeared. The wreck and the sealife surrounding it consumed me completely. I was like a kid in a toy shop and was so relaxed that I even found myself helping my buddy deploy his SMB.

As if to prove a point, the buddy had a bouyancy problem and instead of completing his safety stop, bobbed up to the surface. The DM followed him and I realised that I was alone. I checked my pressure, depth and safety stop obligation, leveled out at 5m and completed my stop before surfacing. Calm. Cool. I was diving again and loving it.
 
Last edited:
Wonderful story! And I love the conclusion that the failure point was you . . . I think we should all think about that, because as your story shows, that failure point can be improved enormously with focused practice.
 
Really cool that you're diving again. Glad to hear you're getting back into practice and doing something you love. There's no doubt that you will feel more comfortable as you scrape the rust away!
 
Gets me thinking that I need to do some air sharing drills.

There are a couple of things to note.
1. There is no such thing as a safety stop obligation. Had the divemaster not been there, the appropriate thing would have been to skip the stop, safely ascend, and assist your buddy if needed at the surface.
2. Always take your first breath off of a regulator you just put in your mouth as if it may be full of water. If you breath very cautiously, you will catch yourself before inhaling any water. I just had a similar incident inflating an SMB. I took my regulator out of my mouth to blow the first tiny puff of air through the straw, and forgot to purge it. Because I always breath cautiously, I didn't get a mouthful of water. Next time you are in the pool, trying breathing past the water in a partially flooded regulator. You will soon find out that you can have total control over this situation, and even if you were to make a mistake again, it won't be a big deal.
 
Gets me thinking that I need to do some air sharing drills.

There are a couple of things to note.
1. There is no such thing as a safety stop obligation. Had the divemaster not been there, the appropriate thing would have been to skip the stop, safely ascend, and assist your buddy if needed at the surface.

You are right. With hindsight, that is what I should have done.

Next time you are in the pool, trying breathing past the water in a partially flooded regulator. You will soon find out that you can have total control over this situation, and even if you were to make a mistake again, it won't be a big deal.

Thanks for the tip. I'll give this a shot next time.
 
A good read, thanx for the reality check and good to hear you didn't give up!!!
 
There is no such thing as a safety stop obligation......

That's debatable. Ever feel unnecessarily tired after a dive where you skipped your safety stop? The current thinking is that you still have bubble formation on no-stop dives, but DCS symptoms (other than the tiredness mentioned) just aren't present. Stopping for 3-5 minutes usually eliminates those silent bubbles that form, at least in a significant number of divers they've tested on.

I feel "obligated" to stop on all but the shallowest of shore dives, ESPECIALLY if I'm doing multi-day, or repetitive dives.

but......

Had the divemaster not been there, the appropriate thing would have been to skip the stop, safely ascend, and assist your buddy if needed at the surface.

I'll agree that I'd almost definitely skip a safety stop if there wasn't support at the surface in such a situation.

To the OP: I've been unfortunate enough to try to breathe through a rolled-off valve, and taken a mouthful of water once or twice due to failing mouthpieces. I feel your pain. My inclination in those incidents was to panic, but my training beat me to the punch. Practice, practice, practice. You'll find that your body can do a pretty good job taking care of you when your brain is trying to shut down, but you only get that through time in the water, and practice with your safety drills. I usually schedule several dives a year for the sole purpose of practicing safety drills with my usual dive buddies.
 
I'll agree that I'd almost definitely skip a safety stop if there wasn't support at the surface in such a situation.

If by surface support, you mean the boat captain, I firmly disagree. If you are refering to another diver that you know is right there, then I agree. In this case, the divemaster skipped his safety stop to help. I do agree that a safety stop should not be skipped just because you don't want to do it, but if I was in an air-sharing emergency, for example, I would definitely shorten it to just long enough to ensure my buddy was calm enough for a nice slow accent the last 5 m.
 
Tbh, at the time I didn't know where the DM and my buddy were. They had disappeared but was very certain that they were together, either on the surface or elsewhere. Given that there were no certainties, I felt that finishing my own dive safely was the best option open to me.

In any case, I learned that diving in a buddy group of three is far from ideal.
Sent from my Lumia 800 using Board Express
 

Back
Top Bottom