Diving with your recently certified Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Life Partner/Whatever

[StreetDoctor]

My personal opinion is every dive master I've encounter that has "led" or been in the water on a dive has sucked. Bad situational awareness, worse gas management, and a false sense of security. I will try my hardest to avoid having any in-water interaction with divemasters or dive leaders, etc. A matter of fact when I'm looking for charters that's usually one of my first questions. I'll listen to a good dive briefing beforehand and ask whatever questions aren't covered and that's all I need to know from them. If I'm not comfortable doing the dive I won't do it, I trust my life to no one except my team (my significant other being a part of it).

My girlfriend started diving about 3 months after I did and we had a lengthy discussion about diving and formed an agreement that she will maintain/assemble her own equipment, and basically carry her own weight in the team. Afterall, she's a part of the team and if something happens to me or someone else we might have to rely on her to know our equipment well enough to fix the situation. She also participates in dive planning including gas management, turn pressures, etc.

This is the only way I'd dive with her outside of caribbean reef dives. I also wouldn't classify her as a typical girl though either. (No offense) LOL

 

[Teamcasa]

I think diving with a SO is fine. Instructing your SO, not so much!

I know many hubby/wife and SO buddy teams. It works well.

I don't think being married has anything to do with instructing. I think it is a respect and trust issue. If your spouse (or whatever) does not trust in your ability to teach them, then get a different instructor.

BTW, I can think of a dozen husband/wife bf/gf teams here in SoCal that dive together regularly.

 

[ligersandtions]

My husband and I got certified together. After our class, we buddied up exclusively for the next 40 or so dives....after that, it was overly apparent that I was more interested in diving than he was, so I began to branch out and dive with others. We still dive together occasionally, but we have different goals and different ways of diving....sometimes we are not compatible buddies for one another.

But when we started diving (and were both new), we were pretty good buddies. There was the occasional disagreement, silent treatment, flipping off, etc....but if you and your SO enjoy diving with one another and have compatible diving styles, I see no reason why you should not dive together when you want to.

Keep in mind that she is a new diver, and as such, probably needs to work on becoming a competent diver who is capable of rescuing you. If she wants to work on hovering motionlessly, offer to do that with her. If she wants to work on donating air and making ascents, offer to do that with her. If she wants to work on getting her proper weighting down, work on that with her. If she wants to work on holding safety stops, work on that with her. You get the pic

 

[LeadTurn_SD]

Zapdiver,

My wife is my dive buddy these days. I cannot imagine diving with anyone else.... and I sincerely doubt they'd be comfortable diving arm-in-arm with me like my wife is

Ignore the "common wisdom" and have fun diving with your girlfriend.

Best wishes.

 

[BioLogic]

Sabbath999 and I have been a team for most of our dives. It works great, because we sorted out our philosophy before we started and found good agreement, and we stick to that philosophy. We communicate well and don't play power games. That's what I think it takes to make this situation work.

We did not train OW as a buddy team. Our instructor doesn't like that; he thinks it can result in one of the members not being fully prepared to be self-responsible. Given pairs of mates I've seen diving, I think he was wise in that.

 

[zaberman1]

Sabbath999 and I have been a team for most of our dives. It works great, because we sorted out our philosophy before we started and found good agreement, and we stick to that philosophy. We communicate well and don't play power games. That's what I think it takes to make this situation work.

We did not train OW as a buddy team. Our instructor doesn't like that; he thinks it can result in one of the members not being fully prepared to be self-responsible. Given pairs of mates I've seen diving, I think he was wise in that.

I don't want to come off as trying to attack you (wow, don't you hate when comments start like that), I am just curious as to what yours and your instructors justification was for why buddy diving uniquely prevents divers from being self sufficient? Was this a solo diving course (most standards require the assignment of buddy teams)? Sorry to the OP and for anyone else that may see these questions as at best tangentially related to the discussion. If so, we could continue this through pm...

 

[akmike907]

I think the message was that one (typically the guy) will try to do everything for the other (typically the gal). If you aren't responsible for doing things yourself, you may not learn to do it "sufficiently". Sometimes we cripple those we love with love. So, this is my excuse for telling my g/f to "**** off" every now and then!

 

[Bubbletrubble]

I'm not an instructor or DM, but I'll give you my opinion.

I can see where your instructor is coming from. A couple might not make a good dive team on account of having different goals for the dive, e.g., one wants to take pictures while the other would prefer to spearfish. Within the context of a dive class, there are times when couples can unknowingly hinder the learning process. They could argue too much, not pay attention to the instructor, or be incapable of offering constructive criticism to each other.

That being said, many of the qualities that make a strong relationship are the same qualities that make a successful dive buddy team: good communication, respect, trust, and compromise. (I left out the whole "mutual attraction" thing because that's definitely not necessary with a dive buddy. ) You should dive as often as you like with your SO. However, you shouldn't feel compelled to dive exclusively with your SO. Much can be learned from diving with others, especially if they are more experienced and willing to teach you a few things. Also realize that there will certainly be times when she can go diving and you cannot or vice versa.

If diving is something that you both like to do together and you have compatible diving goals, then team up and have a great time! Have fun and dive safe...

 

[Dr Wu]

My personal opinion is every dive master I've encounter that has "led" or been in the water on a dive has sucked. :

Every single diver you have seen in the water with a Divemaster rating has sucked?

 

[scubadobadoo]

The key here is that ALL good relationships take time.

I'm gonna be silly here and say that a good dive is like a nice night of romance. She'll always take more time than you (most of the time anyway) so slow down, communicate, make some noise when needed, be safe, relax, and respect her needs and you'll both do just fine in the end. Of course, you should expect the same in return although it is usually the guy who tends to want to "take a nap after the dive." Just for the record I avoided more sex like words and phrases than I thought I would...

Feel free to insert your own analogies....