In a sense yes, though I'm not all preachy about it.
If you (in a general sense, not you specifically) are diving on a rec oriented boat, doing rec oriented dives, I think there is an expectation that you will act as basic rec training proscribes.That you have a donatable octo, easily deployed and on, and that you will share it if someone needs it. That is what most rec divers expect. To change the paradigm, underwater during a stressed event violates common sense IMO. I suppose if you really will not see anyone UW it doesn't apply, but in my experience people swim past, above, below and around me all the time, sometimes confusing me with the buddy they are supposed to be with.
Of course, if you dive with a select group and describe your set up beforehand and the others both agree and are equipped to compensate for it then ok. I do that when vintage diving. I may say "my octo is my pony reg", or "I have no octo" but I also have to make sure the other diver can cope with the change. Perhaps they use their own pony (alternate airsource) or they are skilled at buddy breathing or they know that the octo will be by my side and not in the triangle but I can't assume all divers will be aware and able to cope if I have not had the discussion. If I were using an inline shutoff valve I would let the other person work it so they had a tactile sense of how it worked. Having a shutoff on a reg and diving with someone who doesn't know it's there or how it works is a bad idea. They are completely dependent on you to make that reg work. Imagine they grab the reg, get no air, and you are trying to grab it away to turn the inline on and they think you are taking the reg away... chaos.
As to preserving the pony for my use only. I can't go there in the rec setting. I may want it to be so but I can't actually act as though it were true if I am diving with others who have only been taught that all regs are available and working. I am asking too much of them. In a best case scenario I will donate the reg I want but if someone is OOA and swims up to me I need to be prepared to lose any reg to them (and switch when they aren't in an emergent state).
To me it is about situational awareness. When I dive with others (such as off a boat) I have to realize that I am in the water with people of a certain degree of training ability and expectation. I can't just wish it were otherwise. That would be situationally unaware.