As others have mentioned here, part of the problem is that you cannot really quantify this without knowing the denominator. Even with the data you do have from sources like DAN, you have to understand that under the umbrella of "diving" is everyone from shallow water recreational divers to technical divers -- that's the equivalent of including race car incidents in driving safety statistics. For example, I was reading at the end of Haberstroh's "Fatal Depth" last night about how the DAN stats for 98-99' (think those are the years they mentioned) were skewed by something like 17% of the deaths being tech divers. If you aren't a tech diver, does that mortality stat apply to you as an OW diver?So my question is this: Is scuba diving a "dangerous" sport? Relative to what? Does anyone have any data? How does scuba compare with other activities?
If you are looking for stats where you can point out how much safer diving is than something else you're not going to reassure anyone that cares about you or dispell headlines they've read. "Well look, it's 20.69x less dangerous than climbing Mt. Everest but 2.78x more dangerous than eating the bacon cheese fries at Outback Steakhouse" is not reassuring to people. Having had this discussion come up with friends and family personally (including with the mother of my dive buddy who explained how as a CSI she had the expertise to make sure they'd never find all of the pieces of my body if anything happened to her daughter while diving with me), I think if you are looking to reassure people that love you about what you are doing then explain that your focus is on safety, not pushing the envelope, and further training, experience and refining of your skills (and make those your focus).
As an aside, when diving with worriers at home, stay in touch -- at Christmas my gf's mother expressed to me how appreciative she was that every day weve been diving out of the country we emailed her to let her know we were having a blast and were safe.