Inclusive Blonde Jokes Thread

[TexasMike]

(This was sent to me from my friend Ronbo since he knew I was involved in the auto parts business --TM)

A lady comes into a local auto parts store & asks for a seven ten cap.

We all look at each other and ask, "What's a seven ten cap?"

She says, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine is gone and I need a new one."

"What kind of a car is it?" they ask. Now I'm thinking maybe an old Datsun Seven Ten, but no, she says that it's a Buick.

"Okay, Lady, how big is it?"

She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.

"What does it do?" we ask.

She says, "I don't know."

We ask her to draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3" in diameter and in the center she writes 710. The guys behind the counter are looking at it upside down as she writes it...and they just fall down behind the counter laughing so hard in hysterics.

One guy says, "I think you want an oil cap."

She says, "Seven Ten cap, oil cap, I don't care what you call it. I just need one, and I don't see what is so funny about it."

And, yes, she was a blonde.

(If you read "710" upside down, it spells OIL)

 

[Rooster1]

You ever hear anyone ask about a dual dipstick??

 

[TexasMike]

<<warily>> No.....what's that?

 

[Rooster1]

Originally posted by TexasMike
<<warily>> No.....what's that?

There is no such thing as a dual dipstick.
It is a joke used to poke fun at car enthusists around here who are just starting off. (This city here is the motor city of Canada and a lot of hot Rodders here). Dual dipstick would mean that an engine would have 2 oil dipsticks instead of just one, which would be rediculous to have 2 as iti is not necessary, but if you say that to a new guy and he goes with it like he knows what your talking about then you know he is green behind the ears.

 

[jbd]

Rooster1--thats similar to the old crew in the operating room sending the newbies to get sterile fallopian tubes or otis elevators.

 

[The Chairman]

muffler bearing, alignment screw, henway, matta-ewe, spew handler, dehydrated water, diet water, church spoon, or a sky-hook, as well as many, many others...

 

[randyjoy]

A friend of mine is an electrician; he was working on a building in downtown Fort Worth and sent his green assistant after the usual left handed monkey wrech, etc. Then he sent him after the fabled "sky-hook".

Several hours later he returns with a rented Sikorsky Sky Crane...only $2500 an hour. (If you don't know, that's a REALLY big helicopter).

Needless to say, nobody got sent after sky hooks anymore.

 

[ScubaStan]

When I was in the military, I was a communications specialist. After being assigned to my local National Guard unit, my section sargeant tried to get me to go to the supply room for a gallon can of Frequency Grease. Of course, I was quick on my toes and responded that I had already checked with them and it was on order.

A few months later, I was checking out a radio in a tracked vehicle. We were a Air Defense Unit using tracked vehicles. Anyways, I saw a new soldier jumping up and down on one of the tracks and seeing a group of guys laughing like crazy by the motor bay, I proceeded to ask what he was doing. He responded proudly, I was asked to check the shocks. I smiled and continued my work.

 

[TexasMike]

Originally posted by NetDoc
dehydrated water,

Pete, No joke and I'm dead serious....I actually own a can of Dehydrated Water. And it was one of the first things I had ever purchased off of eBay.

Lemme see if I can dig out my digital camera and snap a photo of it for you.

 

[dkerr]

Texas Mike and NetDoc,
I am laughing my but off because I was about to throw in "anydrous water" which I have sent some of the newer chemists to get from the stock room. Of course I told them to meet me by the pool on the roof after they got off work....