Lost Confidence in diving

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I may be wrong, but in my opinion the only unexpected free-flow was the first one. Once you start breathing off someone's octo in cold water at depth you more than double flow through the first stage regulator (owing to rapid respiration since you are panicked). The air, which is normally cold exiting the first stage, is now even colder. The second pressure drop at the second stages allows even more cooling to occur. Ice crystal formation becomes increasingly likely at each step.

You may want to ensure that your air supplier does an extra good job ensuring dry air fills during the cold months.
Good case for carrying a pony rather than an alternate reg.
 
What kind of local diving is available to you? What kind of buddies?

Like others have said it's time to scale down. Not the diving but the complexity. If I understood correctly what you said, you have been diving for a year and have <100 dives, a lot of those course dives - and now you are in DM training? I agree that it's sensible to put the DM training on back burner. Dealing with students new to diving is asking for having to deal with panic and discomfort when you need to get your comfort level back.

You want to get into water and a lot. If you have some nice mellow shore dives around that would be great. Some non-challenging boat dives with known buddies and responsible operators, great. Most important is to find buddies who you trust and hopefully buddies who are maybe more experienced than you, so you get that extra feel-good. I am not talking about making trust me dives and continuing doing more "under instructor supervision" dives. (Indeed it would be important for confidence to get more peer dives before moving in to DM:ing). I am just talking about getting over the hump of losing the confidence and not having to deal with divers you have to watch out for and doubt. And getting several dives under your belt without mishaps.

Do shallow dives with good visibility with good plans that you stick to. Do not complicate with new and different gear. Built other fun things around it, like social stuff. Don't expect things to go wrong but plan for it, so you get that secure feeling that you know what to do if things go haywire (make exit/separation plans even for easy sites, carry safety equipment for shore dives etc). Treat yourself kindly, tell your buddies what makes you nervous and don't dive with buddies who belittle problems or make you more tense.
 
Diving should be fun. And that should be something that you bump up on the priority list for a while. Not training, or something new. Others have said to focus on easy dives, but remember the point of this is to have fun. If not, why do it?

Skip the DM stuff for a while. A lot of your dive experience is being a student yourself. Dive more. Get your confidence up. AFTER your confidence is up, then start re-evaluating if you are ready to be a DM and what you want to get out of it.

Also look at it from the other perspective - would you want a DM trainee in the water with you during your OW class that doesn't have much confidence, may be shakey when it comes to panic, and doesn't have many dives other than classes? I wouldn't. And although most OW students wouldn't know to ask those question about your status/ability they wouldn't want that either.

Let everything you have learned in classes have some time to sink in. And again, just go out and have fun.
 
Good case for carrying a pony rather than an alternate reg.

DandyDon, I dive a single tank (rented AL 80) with a 19 cu ft pony - I am in perfect agreement with you. I didn't suggest a pony for two reasons: (1) a new gear configuration might not help a diving trying to get his mojo back; and (2) I was afraid that the anti-pony crowd would step in.

Several months ago, diving with my pony, I was practicing switching from my main tank to the pony and back when my pony stated to free-flow (very slowly). I switched back to my main tank reg, turned off the valve on the pony, swished the second stage about for 30 seconds, then turned the pony valve back on and switched to the pony reg. Free-flow stopped, problem solved. The only other ways to achieve the same end safely is with doubles/isolation manifold or a Y-adapter. The way I see it, my pony is a Y-adapter which has a built-in air reserve.

FWIW, I use a pony AND an alternate reg.
 
I would suggest shallow dives. At least 10 to 20 shallow dives less than 10m. Go out have fun, get comfortable with both diving (again, and your gear (again).
I wouldn't worry about finishing your DM just yet. Take the next few weeks/months to get your confidence back.
If you have any doubt in your mind about your ability you should not be making deep dives, let alone being responsible for a students life.
If you do become a DM it is a large responsibility, don't take it lightly.
 
I think the consensus agrees to quit pushing so hard and have fun.
FWIW, I use a pony AND an alternate reg.
Me too, but in cold water I have considered removing the alternate.
 
I don't think it is so much the free flow, but how one acts during the event. If your confidence was based on the belief that you would act calmly in the face of adversity...and you suddenly find out that is not true, there is going to have to be some emotional resolution...

I would suggest that what you did is very normal, and you seem to be missing the superman gene (which I may see one day, but so far we all seem to be missing it).

From personal experience, I've had a lot of free flows...and have handled several really bad...but I now have a very clear path to follow if that were to happen...and the event does not scare me....however:

1. I was on a plane going to Viet Nam that crashed on take-off in AK...most of the people on the plane lived.. just not the row in front of me. To this day, if a plane takes a long time getting up, I get scared...I know I will, I try to relax.. but if it feels like that event...I get the first stages of panic. But I don't go any farther..and I just relax myself out of it...I cannot seem to stop it, but I can control it. I still fly.

2. I've been thru an Oceanic white tip attack... rammed, grabbed (by the fin thankfully), shaken...several times. Just hitting me ripped areas of skin. Never saw it before it hit. It scared me bad... I had trouble sleeping afterwards and to tell the truth, had trouble diving.. even stopped for a couple of years. But I love diving, and life is very short..and for a while, after that, when I saw a shark, I wanted to run... but gradually it went away.

I hope you take some of the excellent advice given here, but in the end... if you are not having fun... don't do it...and if you are just scared you will act that way again...I can tell you it is very unlikely....as it is the one thing you will now have a clear plan for.
 
I'd definitely stay above 70 ft / 21m

There's a fuzzy line somewhere around there where you can get darc narc or panic below that level due to narcosis and CO2 buildup pretty easily, but above that it all seems to clear up.

You've probably got a bit more than that alone going on since fundamentally you've gotten nervous about diving. But as you try to get more comfortable in the water, going below 21m and getting yourself narc'd isn't going to help you get more comfortable and will just reinforce the sense of anxiety and panic that you have.

So, stay above 21m and try to rebuild your sense of comfort.

I'd also say that you need more training and experience. You haven't had all the training in the world yet, and you just figured out what the limits of that are. That doesn't mean that you can't get that experience and build up that training, but you just got some feedback from Reality(tm) that you were going too fast, too soon. Slow down a bit. Do easier dives, don't try to take on DM responsibilities yet.
 
I've been thru an Oceanic white tip attack... rammed, grabbed (by the fin thankfully), shaken...several times. Just hitting me ripped areas of skin. Never saw it before it hit. It scared me bad... I had trouble sleeping afterwards and to tell the truth, had trouble diving.. even stopped for a couple of years. But I love diving, and life is very short..and for a while, after that, when I saw a shark, I wanted to run... but gradually it went away.

Wow - Not to derail this thread, but that sounds like a great story right there. Have you posted about it in detail somewhere else here that you could link to?
 
There will be a lot of advice given but the most important thing to do is get back in the water. Get the experience, get at ease with your own diving skills and have fun. I trained divers for the past 30 years in cold water and with experience you will learn how to anticipate this when it happens and with your experience you should be able to deal with it.

Jim
 
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