"Oh, you're a diver too?"
- Thread starter nitroxbabe
- Start date
Please register or login
Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.
Benefits of registering include
- Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
- A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
- You can make this box go away
OP
nitroxbabe
Guest
Wow, thanks for all the replies. I'm amazed.
I'm going to bore ya'll a bit now. I feel I need to respond to a bunch of these posts, so bear with me (feel free to skip ahead to the good parts)...
Snowbear: my woman friend does NOT do no-deco dives (at least not lately). She's been training pretty hard. And actually, she has a permanent buddy: her husband.
Doc Intrepid & others: I have told him how I feel about this. Repeatedly. I'm tired of flapping my lips. Which, I suppose, is why I feel the need to vent here. But thanks for the support!
Walter: hi! Yep, it's him alright. Mr. Nitroxbabe doth have a fat head these days, eh? I guess I'll just have to hope it deflates soon. Lucky for him he's still pretty cool in a lot of other ways.
Ya know, I guess lucky for me he doesn't log on to scubaboard. He'd be pretty pissed if he saw this! :devil_3:
Rhizophora79: yep. Sucks, don't it?
To several: perhaps it shouldn't matter what others think, but that's not my reality. I always find "should" a problematic concept. Things are what they are, no matter what they "should" be. Is it more practical to try to change the situation that bothers you, or to try to change yourself? If I thought I were wrong, I might say myself. But I think I have a valid point.
At this point, I'm not sure I would consider entering a DM program, for a variety of reasons.
Drysuit Dave: I understand what you're saying & there is indeed much truth there. However, understand that we took up diving together. We sat side by side in the classroom and floundered around in Lake Wazee together on our first check-out dive. It was something we took up as a couple: we WERE equals and partners in this. Now, I'm being left out. It's becoming a "guy" thing where his buddy with the boat invites him & another guy, but there's no more room on the boat for me. You getting the picture?
And I always dive as hard as he does, and often harder, just FYI.
Jriderski & submariner: I DO speak my mind, perhaps too much. I'm far from a wallflower. You'd have to be with us to see what's going on: I'd have to be pushy to butt in and that's not my style. I'm not the kind of person who jumps into a conversation and starts self-promoting.
This fight is producing no winners, however. And yes, I'm going to have to make a decision as to what I'm going to do with my diving, independent from any decisions my husband may make.
PS - Zipsy, you DO have an awesome attitude.
I'm going to bore ya'll a bit now. I feel I need to respond to a bunch of these posts, so bear with me (feel free to skip ahead to the good parts)...
Snowbear: my woman friend does NOT do no-deco dives (at least not lately). She's been training pretty hard. And actually, she has a permanent buddy: her husband.
Doc Intrepid & others: I have told him how I feel about this. Repeatedly. I'm tired of flapping my lips. Which, I suppose, is why I feel the need to vent here. But thanks for the support!
Walter: hi! Yep, it's him alright. Mr. Nitroxbabe doth have a fat head these days, eh? I guess I'll just have to hope it deflates soon. Lucky for him he's still pretty cool in a lot of other ways.
Ya know, I guess lucky for me he doesn't log on to scubaboard. He'd be pretty pissed if he saw this! :devil_3:
Rhizophora79: yep. Sucks, don't it?
To several: perhaps it shouldn't matter what others think, but that's not my reality. I always find "should" a problematic concept. Things are what they are, no matter what they "should" be. Is it more practical to try to change the situation that bothers you, or to try to change yourself? If I thought I were wrong, I might say myself. But I think I have a valid point.
At this point, I'm not sure I would consider entering a DM program, for a variety of reasons.
Drysuit Dave: I understand what you're saying & there is indeed much truth there. However, understand that we took up diving together. We sat side by side in the classroom and floundered around in Lake Wazee together on our first check-out dive. It was something we took up as a couple: we WERE equals and partners in this. Now, I'm being left out. It's becoming a "guy" thing where his buddy with the boat invites him & another guy, but there's no more room on the boat for me. You getting the picture?
And I always dive as hard as he does, and often harder, just FYI.
Jriderski & submariner: I DO speak my mind, perhaps too much. I'm far from a wallflower. You'd have to be with us to see what's going on: I'd have to be pushy to butt in and that's not my style. I'm not the kind of person who jumps into a conversation and starts self-promoting.
This fight is producing no winners, however. And yes, I'm going to have to make a decision as to what I'm going to do with my diving, independent from any decisions my husband may make.
PS - Zipsy, you DO have an awesome attitude.
Yes dear, it's resentment and life it FAR too short to bother with it. You have to make your own decisions, you know that. I really do hope you manage to work something out that makes both of you happy, functioning as a team is the part of marriage that I'm finding to be the most fun. Ya know something, maybe you should try doing the DM thing with him and give it a fair chance if you hate it you can always stop doing it. Personally I've found that students communicate more readily with the DM's than the instructors because the DM isn't the one with the "pass/fail" power.
Just to let you know where I stand, I'm the instructor and my husband the AI. He's been diving at least 15 years longer than I have and I really look up to him, he has such a variety of experience. When I taught the first class that he was available to assist with he said, "If teaching in front of me is going to make you nervous I won't help with the class, I don't want to make you feel self-conscious." What a sweetie! I told him I was thrilled to have the opportunity to teach with him and to learn from him in the process. My assistants know they are always welcome to make comments and do demonstrations if they think I've missed something or they've learned a better way to do an old skill. I do not consider this rude, their timing is always good and I try to make sure they have an opportunity to speak their mind. I want them to assist me not just watch me teach.
I admit to getting my feathers ruffled about something my husband said on an OW check-out but I also admit the fact that he was right, whether I like it or not, and I will do my best to correct the mistake I was making.
Good luck with whatever you decide dear!
Ber :lilbunny:
Just to let you know where I stand, I'm the instructor and my husband the AI. He's been diving at least 15 years longer than I have and I really look up to him, he has such a variety of experience. When I taught the first class that he was available to assist with he said, "If teaching in front of me is going to make you nervous I won't help with the class, I don't want to make you feel self-conscious." What a sweetie! I told him I was thrilled to have the opportunity to teach with him and to learn from him in the process. My assistants know they are always welcome to make comments and do demonstrations if they think I've missed something or they've learned a better way to do an old skill. I do not consider this rude, their timing is always good and I try to make sure they have an opportunity to speak their mind. I want them to assist me not just watch me teach.
I admit to getting my feathers ruffled about something my husband said on an OW check-out but I also admit the fact that he was right, whether I like it or not, and I will do my best to correct the mistake I was making.
Good luck with whatever you decide dear!
Ber :lilbunny:
Yeah...watching is rather boring...besides...someone has to corrupt your students...Ber Rabbit:
EANx-babe...I'm sure that some of this has to do with the ego factor and the "newly appointed" instructor thing. IT will pass, and I'm certain you two will work it out. It is a somewhat touchy subject to bring up at home I'm sure...but if he truly thinks you can't be an instructor or DM then you have to re-evaluate something.
Nitroxbabe, I see your points. I would never discourage my SO from any level of diving. Likely, I will be one of the instructors here one day, but that is my own decision. It is a fact that most of the wives of the instructors at the shop are more than competent divers and more than welcome to participate in our dives. We do treat them as equals on the dive boats.
Herein lies the problem, most of them won't dive the cold water of the Great Lakes. One of the ladies that is our most fervent divers swore up and down that she would never dive.... period, end of story. Well, she got tired of watching her husband go out all the time and she is more active as a cold-water diver than he is in the summer (She is a teacher and that is her off-time.).
I always thought (since I started diving) that I would insist on an SO that dives. That hasn't happened. The latest SO is interested, but may not be able to dive for reasons that are her story. That is fine and I don't think less of her because of that. If anything, she is upset in thinking that I may not be happy with her for that reason. She wonders how someone that spends nearly every available weekend diving can accept a non-diver in her life. Guess what? I have an ego, but it is nice to have someone take it back down to a normal level every once in a while. I care about this lady. I wonder how many times that I have to tell her that WE are the only people that hold ourselves back. If she can eventually take up diving, I will support her. If not, that's life and I will still have her by my side for surface intervals, LOL. And regardless of my addiction to diving, that is what is most important.
I would say to follow your dreams and do what you want to do. If you don't want to be under his shadow, that is acceptable. Most men would like their wives to be a partner, not a slave!
And Ber Rabbit, your husband sounds like he has the right attitude. You and him sound lucky to be with each other. I only hope that I can treat the lady in my life the same way.
Herein lies the problem, most of them won't dive the cold water of the Great Lakes. One of the ladies that is our most fervent divers swore up and down that she would never dive.... period, end of story. Well, she got tired of watching her husband go out all the time and she is more active as a cold-water diver than he is in the summer (She is a teacher and that is her off-time.).
I always thought (since I started diving) that I would insist on an SO that dives. That hasn't happened. The latest SO is interested, but may not be able to dive for reasons that are her story. That is fine and I don't think less of her because of that. If anything, she is upset in thinking that I may not be happy with her for that reason. She wonders how someone that spends nearly every available weekend diving can accept a non-diver in her life. Guess what? I have an ego, but it is nice to have someone take it back down to a normal level every once in a while. I care about this lady. I wonder how many times that I have to tell her that WE are the only people that hold ourselves back. If she can eventually take up diving, I will support her. If not, that's life and I will still have her by my side for surface intervals, LOL. And regardless of my addiction to diving, that is what is most important.
I would say to follow your dreams and do what you want to do. If you don't want to be under his shadow, that is acceptable. Most men would like their wives to be a partner, not a slave!
And Ber Rabbit, your husband sounds like he has the right attitude. You and him sound lucky to be with each other. I only hope that I can treat the lady in my life the same way.
Guess I'm a freak.
I'm an instructor who happens to be male. My wife (of 17 years) holds an Advanced rating (not even with my primary agency). I have asked her a number of times to become an instructor for the following reasons:
1) She is a 'natural' teacher. I believe any classes she teaches would probably be better educated than mine.
2) I travel a lot, think she would an excellent back up for classes I had in progress.
3) The diving industry needs more women instructors - primarily for women who want to learn to dive
4) Her basic approach to diving is a lot like mine - people, this ISN'T a combat sport!
I wouldn't 'employ' her to teach facets of my classes. To be sure, it would be great to have her as an assistant instructor for my classes, but I would be equally quick to volunteer to be her assistant as well.
I donno. I guess we approach married life as equal partners, not as subordinate to one or the other (and if I implied that to her, she'd put my face in a baggie). Seems to work for us.
I'm an instructor who happens to be male. My wife (of 17 years) holds an Advanced rating (not even with my primary agency). I have asked her a number of times to become an instructor for the following reasons:
1) She is a 'natural' teacher. I believe any classes she teaches would probably be better educated than mine.
2) I travel a lot, think she would an excellent back up for classes I had in progress.
3) The diving industry needs more women instructors - primarily for women who want to learn to dive
4) Her basic approach to diving is a lot like mine - people, this ISN'T a combat sport!
I wouldn't 'employ' her to teach facets of my classes. To be sure, it would be great to have her as an assistant instructor for my classes, but I would be equally quick to volunteer to be her assistant as well.
I donno. I guess we approach married life as equal partners, not as subordinate to one or the other (and if I implied that to her, she'd put my face in a baggie). Seems to work for us.
smrtblnddiver
Guest
Snowbear:
I'm agreeing 100%........
smrtblnddiver
Guest
nitroxbabe:
Oh, it's a probably a good thing you don't have my hotheadedness (thanks to the German/Irish blood), that would have SO not gone over well with me. God only knows how many expletives would have come out of my mouth....
But, we're all behind you for support as you assert yourself with your own decisions.
No - never had that issue - I don`t associate with people who have such little respect for me and my abilities. Although I will consider other peoples advice I would not allow anyone to stop me doing something I wanted to so
So ..
WHY + how did you SO discourage you from persuing your instructor rating ?? Maybe he`s trying to encourage you by suggesting you start DM`ing for him ?? Maybe his suggestion that you teach certain classes / subjects is because they are the ones you excell at or seem to enjoy.
Seem you should be talking to him about this
So ..
WHY + how did you SO discourage you from persuing your instructor rating ?? Maybe he`s trying to encourage you by suggesting you start DM`ing for him ?? Maybe his suggestion that you teach certain classes / subjects is because they are the ones you excell at or seem to enjoy.
Seem you should be talking to him about this
OP
nitroxbabe
Guest
smrtblnddiver:Oh, it's a probably a good thing you don't have my hotheadedness (thanks to the German/Irish blood), that would have SO not gone over well with me. God only knows how many expletives would have come out of my mouth....
But, we're all behind you for support as you assert yourself with your own decisions.
ROFL!
Part of what's going on here is that HE'S German/Irish.
You ought to see his mother - she's more bullheaded than he is.In all fairness, however, I'm at least as bad as he is. And I'm not even German.
Similar threads
