"Oh, you're a diver too?"

[Michael Schlink]

Some of the advice I read in this thread might land you in divorce court! But here is my situation maybe it will work for you guys. I have been an instructor for a while, my wife had been a DM. I nudged her into becoming an instructor. I say nudged because she wasn't sure she had what it takes, I knew she did and encouraged her, but I didn't make her do it as some I'm sure are going to want to assume. She has been an inst. now for a couple of years. she doesn't teach alot but then neither do I anymore. we do dive quite abit TOGETHER, she is my buddy I trust her more than anyone else in the water. Now some will say I'm partial. We'll actually she's just a better diver than most. And most notice rather quickly. Guys if you have a big ego about your diving skills you don't want to go diving with my wife. Anyway I digress. The point is two people in a relationship should be supporting each other not themselves. If my wife goes on to be a bigger badder inst. then me great I'll be even more proud of her. If she stays where she is great to. Whatever she wants. A couple of years ago on a liveaboard in Palau, I had a headache, took a nap, and missed a dive. When my wife danced around our room singing " I made one more dive than you!" We laughed about it TOGETHER! We still talk about it and laugh. I do Trimix deep wreck dives, she's not interested so we plan and schedule so I can do the dives and she does something else. I'm leaving in a couple of weeks to go cave diving, she doesn't want to go, we work these things out. She 's thinking about starting her cave training this spring, I'm letting her make up her own mind about it but do I want her to learn "tech diving" heck yea!!! Everydive I make I want her to be with me but if she doesn't want to or can't it doesn't effect our relationship. But I'll never hold her back because I don't want her to pass me up??! What's up with that? And as far as women being instructors we need more of 'em. There are times that my wife will help with a student having a problem with a skill, she has a better diposition sometimes than me, or she see's the problem differently, I don't know exactly but she just has a way with people, so in some respects she's already a better instructor than me. and I'm damn proud of her for it You need to have a long talk with your husband 'cause it's not just a diving problem- dive safe-M

 

[victoriawtx]

Nitroxbabe-

I think that there's been a lot of good advice here, as well as a lot of insightful experiences that people have had.

I just have one small thing to add to this conversation:

My father always told me that the key to any successful relationship (business, friendship, romantic), is honest communication. It sounds silly, but it's true. Many times I would rather push something to the back of my mind that has been bothering me, and not deal with it, instead of biting the bullet and talking about it. But, it has always been for the best, as far as understanding one another better, to be open and honest about the subject.

Like some of the others have said, I really think that men and women perceive things differently. What he said, and how you heard it, can lead to a different interpretation than what was meant. I have been witness to this phenomenon many, many times over. LOL

Best wishes, and best of luck

 

[justleesa]

Like some of the others have said, I really think that men and women perceive things differently. What he said, and how you heard it, can lead to a different interpretation than what was meant. I have been witness to this phenomenon many, many times over. LOL

Maybe he is thinking " Wow, I'm so proud that I accomplished this!" and wants to bask in that for a bit (don't we all? in our own way?). He doesn't want to leave you out, but wants to bring you up to new a new level, DM now - maybe instructor later, and share it with you as a team....he just might be thinking that you work so well as a team above water and he wants to max it out below water too.

My life partner and I are very, very harmonious. He is an instructor with 30+ years of experience and I am his assisting DMC. I know that if somthing that my partner says or does is hurtful to me....He never ment it to be, he either just didn't see that possibility or I just took it the wrong way....because once again, I'm from venus and he's not :57:

Aloha,
Lisa