Scuba Limericks

[MSilvia]

Apologies in advance, but I have some sort of writer's block that won't let me write limerics suitable for polite company.

Warhammer likes all things marine
though his most well-know dive was obscene.
Seems he needed to toot
so he whipped off his suit
and the ocean became his latrine.

It was scarier than halloween
and it made us all turn sickly green.
The cloud from his bum
drew the fish in like chum
but his buddies all fled from the scene.

 

[H2Andy]

brilliant

 

[jim hannah]

O.K Here's one from Scotland....

A macho young diver named McDwyer
Really liked playing with fire,
One night in the dark,
He swam with a shark,
and now his voice is 2 octaves higher !

 

[BabyDuck]

there once was a diver named annie,
who thought, 'when my bud makes a plan he
can't navigate,
can't even swim straight;
maybe he'll improve when they sink the oriskany!'

 

[H2Andy]

hehehehe, nice


a diver must always consider
that water will cause you to shiver
and blue you will turn
unless without concern
in your wetsuit you do pee a river

 

[itemize]

There once was a ship called the Grove,
Through her currents we willingly strove.
No longer debased
She's upright in place,
'Cause of the way the storm surge drove.

 

[underwaterangel]

a diver must be willing to change,
to roll with the punches and pains ,
he must also try to remember,
that from July thru November,
his travel plans are subject to change.

 

[MSilvia]

There once was a diver named Fred
who kept shipwreck brass in his shed
That's because if his spouse
saw it come in the house
then she wouldn't let him in her bed.

 

[MSilvia]

There was a bold diver named Dave
who couldn't tell cavern from cave
he swam in just fine
but he didn't run line
so he rests in his watery grave

 

[MSilvia]

There once was a man from Bonaire,
whose mask caught in his wild hair
"Oh, that's nothing" he said
as he tugged at his head
I once lost my speargun in there!

On a charter boat off Cozumel
one guy's suit had a horrible smell
so badly did it stink
we tossed him in the drink
and he floated home waving farewell.

There was a DM from Phuket
who dove really deep on a bet
that she'd surface from there
with the help of Spare-Air
and she might, but she sure hasn't yet.