So what do you say if

[nolatom]

"I think I need a less challenging buddy, you're too quick for me".

 

[dalaimama]

Tact is overrated.

 

[ladyfishdvr]

If your dive status is really 0-24, you are an instant fish in my book. That said, what you have said above belies you as a very mature diver. Either way, good job taking control of the dive for both your safety and his. However, I would have probably slugged him once out of the water, that's just me though. Total BS to have to dive with someone like that.

Probably the key question is not "how long have you been diving", but "when and where was the last time you dove...."

I have 19 dives in since May (when I got OW certified) of this year. Have completed my AOW and am not prone to panic, but rather think my way through. I grew up swimming in a lake where under the docks was more interesting so I am probably part fish. Have not slugged anyone in a very long time, since I am not strong enough to knock someone on their ass, and last time I did that it did not go so well.

When and where was the last time you dove is probably what I should be asking.

 

[DivemasterDennis]

Here is my suggestion. " You really had some problems on that dive. Are you ok? Maybe, if we dive together again, we can establish some rules. How about I lead the dive, and you stay to my left and slightly ( like a foot) above me. That way you can work on buoyancy, enjoy the dive, and I'll navigate." If they are agreeable, then from that point on you are the dive leader and they follow you. If they hesitate, or are contrary, then just say. "I think you'll enjoy the next dive more if you dive with someone else. Then you approach another buddy team and ask if you can join them. I have a blog on dealing with instabuddies you might want to check out.
DivemasterDennis

 

[ladyfishdvr]

Here is my suggestion. " You really had some problems on that dive. Are you ok? Maybe, if we dive together again, we can establish some rules. How about I lead the dive, and you stay to my left and slightly ( like a foot) above me. That way you can work on buoyancy, enjoy the dive, and I'll navigate." If they are agreeable, then from that point on you are the dive leader and they follow you. If they hesitate, or are contrary, then just say. "I think you'll enjoy the next dive more if you dive with someone else. Then you approach another buddy team and ask if you can join them. I have a blog on dealing with instabuddies you might want to check out.
DivemasterDennis

That would have worked for me. I think since I am so new at this, I have not been comfortable asserting myself. Up to this point I have been diving with very experienced divers who have let me tag along. I will have to check out your blog. After this experience I do want to have more control of the dive if I am with an instabuddy.

 

[windapp]

Here is my suggestion. " You really had some problems on that dive. Are you ok? Maybe, if we dive together again, we can establish some rules. How about I lead the dive, and you stay to my left and slightly ( like a foot) above me. That way you can work on buoyancy, enjoy the dive, and I'll navigate." If they are agreeable, then from that point on you are the dive leader and they follow you. If they hesitate, or are contrary, then just say. "I think you'll enjoy the next dive more if you dive with someone else. Then you approach another buddy team and ask if you can join them. I have a blog on dealing with instabuddies you might want to check out.
DivemasterDennis

I would agree here, but add the following:

If the OP had attempted to do a proper dive plan with his insta-buddy, most of this should have been done before the first dive. If the insta-buddy was unwilling to participate in the dive planning, then that would have been the cue to select a new buddy. After that, I would tend to discuss, and forgive minor diving errors. I make mistakes too. If my insta-buddy blatantly disregarded the plan, I would ask for a new buddy on the second dive, and not worry about being polite at that point. I dive when I travel for work, and therefore have had several insta-buddies. I find that any lack in skill is far outweighed by a willingness to make the dive "Our Dive".

 

[chrpai]

had a panic attack because they were down to 500 psi and was going to blow the safety stop (which I insisted we do), even though they had a pony bottle and I had 1600 psi in my tank.

I don't have enough information to fully judge this situation but my instinct tells me that if someone really is having a panic attack that they need to be at the surface and positively buoyant. Rule #1 is anyone can thumb a dive for any reason with no repercussions. While safety stops are a good thing, they are also very optional. It's clear that the diver had enough gas available to do the stop but if he can't StopP, Breath, Think, Act then it doesn't do any good.

I think that this was a good learning experience for you. These things do happen and you should now have a better idea of the kind of skills and experience you need to work on building in case you get another buddy like this.

 

[ladyfishdvr]

I don't have enough information to fully judge this situation but my instinct tells me that if someone really is having a panic attack that they need to be at the surface and positively buoyant. Rule #1 is anyone can thumb a dive for any reason with no repercussions. While safety stops are a good thing, they are also very optional. It's clear that the diver had enough gas available to do the stop but if he can't StopP, Breath, Think, Act then it doesn't do any good.

I think that this was a good learning experience for you. These things do happen and you should now have a better idea of the kind of skills and experience you need to work on building in case you get another buddy like this.

My thinking at the time was to stop and calm him down. Making him stop did get him to calm down and he knew I was aware he was low on air. Maybe it was not a full blown panic attack, I guess I don't know, but I do know he had lost control and my instinct said get him to just stop moving for a minute and he would be good. He was fine when we hit the surface.

 

[nolatom]

"I think I need a less challenging buddy, you're too quick for me".

's


Best part is it's true, he could take it as praise even though it's the opposite. So he's got a pony too? Usually that means an experienced diver who sometimes solos, though as you learned, "appearances can be deceiving"..

And to the Captain or DM, you'll say, "please get me a different buddy before this guy kills me, himself, or both, thanks"


Funny thing is I usually dive with instabuddies and they have almost always been very good. Luck?? Karma?? I dunno.

 

[Steve_C]

A few of your factors to determine first:

-How important is the next dive to you? Is it your first time at a place you have always wanted to dive or is the same old lake you have dove several times before.

-How comfortable are you with your own skills and abilities to take charge and be responsible? This is not just your number of dives. For example, a life guard might already have some of that experience.

-What is your assessment of the other diver? Do they listen? Are they on an ego trip?

-Do you like the reponsibility?

---------------------------------------

Then

+I would ask them how they thought the dive went and what would they would do different.

++If you do not like this answer or if you want to be relaxed on the next dive you tell them "It seemed to me that you were having some troubles on this dive. I think you would be better off diving with somebody who is much more experienced."

+++If you want to help them and you think they are listening, then you can tell them the dive plan. Any disagreement you go back to ++. You tell them that any deviance from the dive plan and your are thumbing the dive.

If this had happened to me in my first 24 dives I would probably have gone immediately to ++

A variant of this did happen to me a few years ago on a 80 ft coastal dive with an instabuddy who was a new OW. In talking with the diver before dive 2 after a very short dive 1, I mentioned air consumption and ways to improve it. He said that he was working on it. I asked him how. His reply was "by holding my breath as long as possible between breaths." I am afraid in my complete surprise at the answer I was more blunt than I usually am and said "That could kill you." He got quiet and chose not to do the second dive. Probably a wise decision on his part.

---------- Post added July 16th, 2013 at 11:17 AM ----------

's
Funny thing is I usually dive with instabuddies and they have almost always been very good. Luck?? Karma?? I dunno.

80% of mine have been good. 15% have been ok. It is the other 5% that make life interesting.