The last thing you want to hear after surfacing

[pferreira]

"Was your nose bleeding like that when you went under?"

"I thought YOU had the camera."

"Sorry Honey, I guess I must have forgot to put that rubber ring thing back on your video camera housing."

"Um, don't move. Maybe if it thinks you're dead it will go away."

"Oops, I think I was off with my compass heading."

"Welcome to Cuba."

"Crikey, aren't you a little beauty! Help me get a tag on her, Terri."

"Hey, where's that fancy camera of yours?"

"You've got guts. We all got out when the Great White showed up."

"You didn't happen to see the outboard while you were down there, did you?"

Typo corrected ~ Dee

 

[caymaniac]

Most people ear twice!

Caymaniac

 

[chiara]

pferreira once bubbled...
"Hey, where's that fancy camera of yours?"
[/SIZE]

Actually I said that one to my Japanese buddy after a nice Maldivian dive back in January.

It was an expensive digital with big external flash.

One moment it was there, the following it was gone.

Incredibly, on his last day of diving there he pleaded with the diving centre to redo the same dive in the remote hope he'd be able to find his camera.

Guess what?

He found it!

I'll never forget his smile!

 

[Waterborne]

"Do you have enough air in those tanks to look for a set of boat keys?"


Didn't actually happen but it would be funny

 

[clive francis]

what about do you have enough air to take another cable down to the anchor as it is hooked up on the wreck?

this actually happened to us, only thing was we were in the Solent and the tide had turned and it was running at 3-4 knots and the anchor line had gone like a piano wire and we had to drag ourselves down the anchor line with a metal cable to hook onto the back end of the anchor to pull it up backwards.

it was hard work and that was the only time i have been scared while diving as we would have gone miles and could have gone down huge sink holes some of which were 30m and a lot more!

when we got back on the boat, the skipper told us he has tried to come in before at 8 knots and the boat has started going backwards where the current was so strong.

 

[Scubaroo]

How about...

"Get him, K-Dog!"

 

[The Chairman]

where's the boat???

have you seen my buddy???

why is my hand swelling???

wasn't our boat green???

are your lips supposed to be that red???

where's the captain???

whats a safety stop???

 

[livestodive]

In Bonaire in Jan, New diver I buddied up with.

During dive he kept giving me the ok when I pointed at his guage. We get to shore he says " I got it down to 100" I then explained my understanding about turn around air, gauge could be a little off etc etc..

But on his very next dive (not with me I might add) He had to walk about 80 yards along the rocks at Karpata because he ran out of air.

You can lead a horse to water...

 

[FredT]

1. Get on board quickly, we can't get the bleeding stopped!

2. Coast Guard chopper's on the way!

3. ------- is entangled, take this tank down to him!

4. Where the h*ll is the O2 valve key?!

5 ------ was swept away and just went below the horizon over by that cloud.

Bad thing to hear from divers coming up:

1. Get the BIG first aid kit!

2. Seen ------? He shot a big AJ about 10 minutes ago and we havn't seen him since. (in about 800' of water)

3. Get the fish in the boat! He followed us up!


Several of these I've heard or said over the years.

FT

 

[Cave Diver]

The last thing I would want to hear on surfacing is absolute silence as I realize neither the boat nor my buddy is anywhere near me.

Luckily, things would have to be a complete charlie foxtrot for either of those to happen.

Also, while spear fishing:

I shot at that (shark, barracuda, any other large predator) but the spear didnt stick. I think I pissed it off tho!