This is ridiculous! (Vent Warning)

[TSandM]

I think, if one has had problems with mask skills or breathing through the mouth, that time spent snorkeling or freediving would be very useful.

If all that went smoothly and without stress, I'm not sure what freediving would gain you, except some exercise. If your father is a busy man, I can certainly understand why he might not want to do that before your trip.

 

[Bonairetrip]

Now, to the practical suggestions for the OP.

You are right about some things
1) Comfort in the water is a very important skill. It makes everything easier and evryone safer. A foundation of skin diving can help this (especially if it is an issue for either of you).
2) Skin diving can help one get used to, and proficient with, two of your most important tools (fins and mask). It can also build a base level of fitness.
3) Many divers, after their basic class, are not fully prepared to do a shore dive as just a novice dou. (Note: While skin diving is great, it won't fix that problem).

Dealing With Your Dad
1) Do the trip with your dad. I suspect it is something that you will always value (and he will as well). I had a missed opportunity there and it is something I often regret/think about...
2) Plan on no skin diving before your trip.
3) Accept and value whatever level of participation your dad provides.
4) Make your training time count. If there is down time in the class, and the instructor is ok with it, use that time to practice the skills.
5) Would your dad be up for a pool session or two? Not three hours -- how about 30 minutes swimming laps with mask and fins? Followed by 15 minutes or so diving to the bottom of the deep end to chase/grab things (like a Toypedo)

Dealing with your end
1) If you are able, spend some extra pool time. Even if it is just you.
2) Make your training time count. If there is down time in the class, and the instructor is ok with it, use that time to practice the skills
3) On Bonaire, you always have options. You can always hire on Bas (either one) as a dive guide. You can always go on the boat. You can often find a buddy on shore.
4) Consider the fit of a hotel to your given situation.
5) Consider making your first "real" shore dive with someone who can show you some tips. (An important one: leave nothing of value in your car, leave the doors unlocked and the windows partly down).
6) Have fun!! Enjoy the time with your Dad.

And, just to expand on #4. I go annually to Bonaire and typically stay for three weeks.

I found a place that works perfectly for me that I stay at every year. It is very diver focused, they have a great dive op, dive shop and repair center. They treat experienced divers as adults. They also do a very good job with diver training and they do the orientation when you want (as opposed to only once per day). The place is on a human scale (10 units), the rooms are nice, it has a pool, and the place is on the water with a good house reef. The staff are awesome and have all been there a long time. The prices are fair (much less than comparable rooms at places like Habitat or Buddys) and adding a boat dive or two is cheap. It is quiet with a very high percentage of guests being repeat visitors. You can easily walk to restaurants and town. When you do a boat dive with them, expect the total dive time to be driven by your air usage (90+ minute dives are fairly common). It is probably a two minute walk from any room to the pool -- or the dock. As I said, perfect for me and a great value to boot.

But this place is not a good fit for everyone. They don't pump nitrox. There is no on-site bar (again, a block or two away). The desk is open 8 to 5 only (they have a method for people who arrive after 5pm or leave before 8am.) Reservations tend to go fast. There is no pool pick up scene. And it is not super plush (i.e., Harbour Village). Even though it is cheaper than most places on the water, it still might be out of your budget. And there are some solid lower cost facilities as well...

In other words, figure out what is important to you and your dad and go with that resort. There are plenty of great options besides the two biggest name (Buddy and Habitat). Still, the big two are a good fit for some divers as well...

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

So, you guys tell me if I have a right to be seriously pissed...

My father and I have been planning this trip to Bonaire, and we finally have all of the aspects as far as flights and hotel in place and paid for, which is great, but heres my problem.

We are getting certified at our only local dive shop in late July. I initially was hoping to get certified much sooner, but all the other days were completely full. So in reality, we will have less than a month from the date we get certified (all our dives will be done in lakes) to the time when we actually arrive in Bonaire, do our orientation dive, and are diving from the shore in completely unfamiliar waters. So I'm thinking, "Hey, since our actual time in the water prior to the trip will be so limited (there will be no chance to make a dive between the end of our cert. and the trip, schedules are packed), why not try to at least get out to the lake and make some good free dives to just get used to using the fins properly, and overall, just being underwater?" But when I go to my father to discuss it with him, he completely stonewalls me, basically trying to completely push everything away and even going so far as to say that diving in the lake (which is actually kind of warm) would be useless since where we are diving will the water will be 80+ F.

I find that ridiculous. How can getting a few extra hours a week in the water actually hurt? Of anything, I tried to point out how if we did go for 3 hours, just once a week, it could seriously make the difference between us shore diving completely alone being a very dangerous activity, or a relatively safe and enjoyable one; not to mention it would be a huge plus if we were completely comfortable going to relative depths of 30 ft or so without scuba gear, and just being overall completely confident and comfortable in the water (we both could make that dive pretty easily, thats what frustrating).

My problem is this. It is not just his safety which can be affected by not being comfortable in deeper water, but also my own considering he will be my only lifeline when we are in the water around Bonaire. I dont want to rely on someone who seems to have a completely nonexistent sense of self-reliance, and trusts so much that the certification course will magically make us completely ready for anything that can happen in open water. But worse yet, we live in a relatively small town, where finding someone to go free diving with at the lake will be virtually impossible, so by being so unwilling, he is screwing over himself and me since I will not go by myself (no desire to drown from a blackout).

I even offered to ask my work for one day off a week, specifically so I could make time for these dives. Which considering im only 18, and I'm trying to make enough money to pay my way through UC Davis, represents a significant cut in my earnings since I work about 30-35 hours a week, and I need to make another $1500 before September...

Thanks for letting me vent...

Any suggestions?

Austin

P.S: I do value my fathers time, as does he. But literally ever since the beginning of the planning process (it was meant to be a graduation gift) I have done everything from arranging flights, to booking our accommodations, to getting the certification going. I've even gotten to the point a few times where I was just going to ask if I could go by myself and maybe hook up with someone on the island (I enjoy solitude, thats why scuba has so much appeal), but I know he wants to go and have it be a father son activity.

So what are your priorities?

Is it about the diving? Or about spending some quality time with your dad?

Personally, I'd have given anything ... ANYTHING ... to be in your situation.

Relax ... go to Bonaire ... enjoy the diving ... but also enjoy the fact that your father wants to do this with you.

In 20 years you won't remember what dives you did, what you saw, or even where you stayed ... but I guarantee you'll remember, vividly, that your father cared enough to want to spend that time with you ... and you'll treasure it.

Savor the moment ... most of us never got that kind of opportunity ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Herk_Man]

I took my water-averse West-Texas wife to Bonaire as my dive buddy. Her first dive in salt water was her first dive after OW certification, which was a very stressful experience (OW cert, not Bonaire) that caused her an ear ambulism. Fortunately she had a month and a half before our trip to let it heal.

She did great! And she loved it.

Your father will be fine. He's been around long enough to know himself and his own limitations. And going free-diving in a lake isn't going to do that much for him to be ready for Bonaire.

Shore diving in Bonaire is the most awesome experience and, with the exception of having to deal with some minor surf (in most locations, the north end of the island can be pretty rough in the winds are up), it is so so so easy to dive there. Ear problems? No problem. Just start your dive at the shore and follow the sand out to the reef. At the end of the dive, reverse course. It sucks up some air but there's actually some cool stuff to see in the sandy areas if you look for it.

Take a deep breath and let Dad be Dad. And enjoy your time together. You will soon learn how prescious it was.

 

[BDSC]

So, you guys tell me if I have a right to be seriously pissed....

You have no right to be pissed. Just give it some time. You'll find that the older you get the smarter your dad will become.

 

[ReefHound]

I think, if one has had problems with mask skills or breathing through the mouth, that time spent snorkeling or freediving would be very useful.

If all that went smoothly and without stress, I'm not sure what freediving would gain you, except some exercise. If your father is a busy man, I can certainly understand why he might not want to do that before your trip.

Some see free diving as helpful and some not. Let me explain my position a little clearer. And note the OP is talking about doing this *before* their scuba class and before they even know if there will be any issues.

I suppose if one grew up where being in the water is an alien concept then it can help you "get comfortable" (or not) with it. Maybe I'm projecting my own experience of growing up swimming and playing in lakes and pools.

I don't really see where the free diving skills transfer over to scuba. You are not learning to breath through your mouth (or more specifically, not through your nose) in free diving, you are holding your breath. A cardinal sin in scuba. Snorkeling would do more for you than free diving. You are not learning anything about buoyancy or trim or relaxed breathing or slow descent/ascent or even kicking properly. Depending on how deep you dive (didn't he say 30 feet? :shocked2, you may have to clear ears and mask.***

Now here's the thing. Free diving carries it's own set of skills and risks. If you're that person who's not spent much time in the water and don't know how to clear your ears, you can do real damage*** free diving. Not to mention shallow water blackout.

So it comes down to... you are either comfortable in the water or you're not. If you already are then free diving won't make much difference in your scuba skills. If you're not, you're better off (safer) getting to be under the supervision of an instructor in a scuba class than off by yourself free diving to in a lake.

 

[flots am]

So, you guys tell me if I have a right to be seriously pissed...

My father and I have been planning this trip to Bonaire, and we finally have all of the aspects as far as flights and hotel in place and paid for, which is great, but heres my problem.

. . . "

I'm with your dad. Not only won't he be a good buddy, but I have news. You're going to suck as a buddy too. Pretty much all new divers have everything they can do just remembering the things they need to personally manage and be aware of. Nobody can be a good buddy until they can handle their own problems with little effort.

I also wouldn't push him into free-diving. If you're 18, he's probably somewhere between late thirties to early fifties, and more than likely is not in good enough shape to do any significant free-diving safely. On top of anything else, free-diving has almost nothing to do with SCUBA except that it's done in the water.

You mentioned "deeper dives." Neither of you should be on "deeper dives" yet. I'd suggest you both go hang out in the shallow water, up to where the wall drops off, which IIRC, is around 40' or so.

You'll both have a great time and low stress and have a ton of awesome dives.

I'll also give you some free advice from my time machine. I'd give anything for a week on Bonaire my dad. It's not going to happen because he's dead. You have a once-in-a-lifetime experience here and I would suggest not blowing it by being pushy or annoyed.

Enjoy the dives. Enjoy being with your father, if he wants to do something with you, do it (unless you think it's dangerous), and if he doesn't want to do something don't push him.

There is more cool stuff on Bonaire above 40' than you could see in a month (probably a year). Make it easy on both of you and go have fun.

flots.

 

[pjones]

Go and enjoy the time with your Dad. If you let yourself get all worked up over it, it will just detract from the good time you and your Dad are going to have. You have no idea how lucky you are even to be asking the question.

I realize patience in the teen years is very rare, find your's and exercise it. The diving will be much better if you are calm, cool and happy to be with your Dad.

My dad passed away almost 13 years ago, and there are MANY times I realize I should have done things differently with him, and look back at home I acted and get pretty ashamed of myself.

OP, If you are spending time with your father, cherish that time. Trust me, if you dont, one day you'll be sorry.

In 20 years you won't remember what dives you did, what you saw, or even where you stayed ... but I guarantee you'll remember, vividly, that your father cared enough to want to spend that time with you ... and you'll treasure it.

Savor the moment ... most of us never got that kind of opportunity ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

Take a deep breath and let Dad be Dad. And enjoy your time together. You will soon learn how prescious it was.

That is a lot of good advice by a lot of different posters!

When I was 18 I always thought that I could spend time with the family "Tomorrow". "There's always another day", It is so easy to put stuff off till a later date. In the last 5 years I have had 4 family members pass away unexpectedly. I'm 28 now and wish I had never put those things off until "tomorrow" because most of the time "Tomorrow" never came. As it turns out there isn't always another day. My priorities were much different back then compared to now. I bet your father has an idea about how life can take funny turns too. It sounds to me like your father is trying to give you the gift of time and great memories. The scuba you should just count as a bonus!. It may be hard to see right now but you will realize later how lucky you were to have spent that time with your dad and you will be glad that you have those memories.

Course it could just be that he doesn't want to free dive and thats fine too. You may gain familiarity with finning and mask use but it won't help you any with buoyancy control, breathing under water, underwater compass navigation, familiarity of equipment and many other aspects of diving.

You could take a friend out there to the lake with you if you just want to play around with the equiptment

 

[PullmanSCUBA]

Ok here we go.

First of all you should be happy that your father is spending any time with you. My dad never spent much time with me doing cool things like this. Hell half of our interactions were him telling me that I need to do better on this or that. But at the end of the day I love him and I know that he cared about me. You need to talke a moment to be greatful for what you have even if he is "searously pissing you off."

Second. I hate free diving, among other things, with a passion. I would take into consideration that me might be like me. Let him make that call. Do you know how comfortable he is in the water?

Third. You guys have not even taken the class yet!!! I think its a little early to be screaming that there is a safety issue here. Let him take the class with you and make your judgement after the class, not before. I think that you will find by the end of the class he will be more comfortable in the water than you think.

And finally, my very last point. As a recent college graduate, I would not give up any of those hours you are getting. Trust me, college is more expenive than you think, and you will be greatful for every penny you have. If you really want to do some free diving I would go after work, before work, or find some time on the weekends. When my dive buddy and I were going through our class, we would to the the University Rec Center in the evening and work on skills and just get more comfortable in the water with soft gear.

Searously tho. Enjoy your dads company on this trip, and enjoy the trip. Some of us up here in the North West are jellous.