ScubaSteve
Wow.....what a DB
Gotcha 
...some still breath better than others....even on the surface.
...some still breath better than others....even on the surface.
Funniest Diving quotes you have heard
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Actually overhead a lady in Blue Grotto spring today complaining about the "stong current" on the training platform. Laughed so hard I peed my wetsuit... glad I was already in the water!
These are great! I didn't have time to read through all 28 pages (wish I did!), so I am not sure if this one has been mentioned:
"There's nothing down there!" I have close to 3600 logged dives, in the ocean, in springs, lakes, rivers, quarries and swamps. I have yet to go on a dive where "there was nothing down there"--there is ALWAYS something to see.
"There's nothing down there!" I have close to 3600 logged dives, in the ocean, in springs, lakes, rivers, quarries and swamps. I have yet to go on a dive where "there was nothing down there"--there is ALWAYS something to see.
If you have a knife and cut you buddy your odds increase dramatically
We were diving a site where we had seen a 12 foot tiger shark the previous week. As I mentioned this during the dive briefing, a relative newbie asked how she would be able to get away from such a shark if we saw it on the upcoming dive, to which I replied, "You don't have to swim fast, just faster than your buddy."
Once, when moored off of Half Moon Cay in Belize, a diver asked me "what is under the island?" Had to think about that one for a while.
Ninja Diver
Contributor
Instructor visits us.... Can't decend, wants more weight... gets 2 more lbs. Instructor can't descend, wants more weight... get's 2 more pounds... instructor can't descend, wants more weight.... Wait.... let's talk about this for a minute....
I don't know what's wrong, I'm letting all the air out of my BC and I just can't get down.....
What about the air in your dry suit????
Oh yea, thx.... instructor descends....
Just because you've taken the class, doesn't mean you're qualified to do the dive.
I don't know what's wrong, I'm letting all the air out of my BC and I just can't get down.....
What about the air in your dry suit????
Oh yea, thx.... instructor descends....
Just because you've taken the class, doesn't mean you're qualified to do the dive.
Yellowmask
Registered
Two from last Sunday's dive at Beadnell on the north-east coast of England:
Female diver: If I lose two stone, will it make a difference to the wetsuit fit?
Divemaster plus two nearby divers, in harmony: YES.
(In fairness, she was expecting that answer as she was deciding whether to lose weight, then buy a suit.)
Shortly afterwards, as we hang around the van swapping stories and looking up fish we think we saw....
Diver #1: That kid over there has the worst-fitting wetsuit I've ever seen.
(Pause whilst five divers try to look without it being obvious. Wetsuit fits so badly it has wrinkles and you could probably fit the kid's younger brother in there too.)
Diver #2: Someone needs to tell them that a wetsuit isn't one of those things you grow into.
Female diver: If I lose two stone, will it make a difference to the wetsuit fit?
Divemaster plus two nearby divers, in harmony: YES.
(In fairness, she was expecting that answer as she was deciding whether to lose weight, then buy a suit.)
Shortly afterwards, as we hang around the van swapping stories and looking up fish we think we saw....
Diver #1: That kid over there has the worst-fitting wetsuit I've ever seen.
(Pause whilst five divers try to look without it being obvious. Wetsuit fits so badly it has wrinkles and you could probably fit the kid's younger brother in there too.)
Diver #2: Someone needs to tell them that a wetsuit isn't one of those things you grow into.
Sully3
Contributor
from one of our non diving neighbors.
"Do you guys carry swords or something to protect you from the fish"
my jaw dropped like a rock when she said it
"Do you guys carry swords or something to protect you from the fish"
my jaw dropped like a rock when she said it
scubadivemaldives
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Its not funny, but its a goodie!
Scuba diving is itself a hazardous sport. To do it without any training is tantamount to playing Russian roulette with a loaded revolver.
ROBERT F. BURGESS, The Cave Divers
Scuba diving is itself a hazardous sport. To do it without any training is tantamount to playing Russian roulette with a loaded revolver.
ROBERT F. BURGESS, The Cave Divers
vladimir
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Russian roulette with an un-loaded revolver kind of misses the point of the game, doesn't it?
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