Staying at depth and hoping for the best would seem to be the worst possible choice. Yes, its cold. Yes, vis is crap. However, the main issue is the narcosis. That is the main problem to address especially with the extreme symptoms the OP is describing. I have never heard of someone ascending and the symptoms not disappearing. Mine have always gone away by 60ft. That is not too close to the surface. Even if they had to ascend to 20ft, it is a better scenerio than sitting at 100ft hoping for the best as things keep falling apart.
It’s a good point what you make that it’s a huge risk just to swim around till you swim no more. It has happened to people. I know stories where outsiders have come to rescue, and popped back regulators that have started falling off etc. It’s worth repeating that one should make an immediate, active effort to correct the situation before it worsens. I am not a narcosis expert and have certainly not extensively experienced it but I would be very hesitant if someone told me to wait it out.
I am trying hard not to try to put out that my choice of not to ascent was great. There were no great solutions left any more. I had majorly *^%&ed up. I strongly advocate getting out if you are that impaired.
At this point all I can do is to clarify why the risk of ascending remained unacceptable for me for the time being when the other option was to follow the bottom and search for the slope unless situation worsened.
I am sure it would be pretty bad if I came up feet first and embolized or got bent because I lost it in my stress during the ascent. It would not help if I became more disoriented and started bouncing back and forth to the bottom in an attempt to regain a sense of which way was up, and depleted my gas in the process. (Sinking back down in fear of shooting up too fast).
I would quit diving if I lost contact with my buddy during the ascent, and she never made it to the surface. It’s all fine and dandy to say that why don’t you concentrate on your gauges and grab your buddy to stay together but I already lacked couple of extra hands because I was planning how to manage all the dumps and valves that appeared out-of-order. I would have begun the ascent with a wing that I truly believed trapped air and did not vent. I had a vivid image in my head about shooting to the surface. I was sure that at some point that trapped air and confusion was going to get me… something was certainly going to get me… OMG something real bad was about to happen for sure…
My buddy had clearly indicated she did not wish to lose the bottom. I was already worried about my mental state worsening. I knew it would in midwater. We have had a couple of hard no-reference midwater ascents together, I know it takes some extra concentration from both of us. How was I going to be able to help my buddy if I expected to be a missile? I knew we’d lose viz immediately upon rising a few feet higher. How was I to negotiate her in that condition? (And I felt I had to if need be, this was, after all, all my fault!!!) I was terrified of leaving her. Nobody is refusing to believe that narcosis eases on ascent but I did not think of that. I was not concentrating on going up 20 or 40 feet. I was not in that kind of a state of mind. It was either or. I expected bad things to happen.
I know it would be easier if there was a clear yes/no answer to every problem. Even in retrospect I am not standing behind my choice 100% even though it appears I am rationalizing it pretty heavy-duty. I totally agree that staying on the bottom could have turned very, very nasty and who knows how fast? However, the risks on ascent were still very real too. It was not going to be a cakewalk in the state we had managed to get ourselves in.
I am certainly not going onto future diving thinking that next time (what next time, stupid!!!) I should just ascent come-what-may. But I should keep myself in a condition I can! I am glad things turned out the way they did. Lucky and glad. Once again, the main point is that it all should have never ever come to the point of such impairment where we had such lousy options left to choose in-between…