Dealing with over-enthusiastic parents and spectators - The Parent's Perspective

[garyfotodiver]

I will add some closure to this topic. I haven't done my DiveCon yet. Instead, my last daughter (of 5) worked on her PADI Jr. OW during February and March. Laura did fine, and the instructor asked that my wife and I watch during the first class.

She passed all the tests, and we went for her check-out dives in Florida during our Passover trip to Florida. On the boat each day, I sat at the other end and had nothing to do with her in the water, EXCEPT when I snuck up behind her and grabbed her leg. She took it well, didn't jump out of the water or anything.

Laura liked diving so much that she asked me to go once more before we returned home. So Sunday, we dove on the Sea Emperor. Again she did well under less than perfect conditions. She did get chilled and told me after that first dive that she was done for the day. A wise and mature decision.

I was very pleased and satisfied with Laura's training. Now, if I can only get her to do a dive with me here in Lake Michigan...

 

[Jaksonbrown]

During my kids OW pool sessions I was allowed in the pool and served as the "training dummy" The kids got to rescue me and tow me around while the instructors did the training. I got to be involved in their training and was very pleased to be a part of it. It worked out very well. But I can definatly testify to how hard it is to keep your mouth shut and let the instructors do their job without interjecting your own thoughts and opinions.

 

[Bossman]

If there is an issue between student and instructor, I [-]act as a mediator/advocate to resolve the issue[/-] tell my kid to shut the hell up and listen to the instructor.

Gary

Fixed that for you . Teaching your kids that they can debate and disagree with an instructor/coach is a negative for them later in life. If the instructor/coach is doing something to put them at risk, you should remove them immediately. Otherwise, it's zip it and listen.

 

[fjpatrum]

Fixed that for you . Teaching your kids that they can debate and disagree with an instructor/coach is a negative for them later in life. If the instructor/coach is doing something to put them at risk, you should remove them immediately. Otherwise, it's zip it and listen.

I'll disagree with that entirely. Debating with an instructor is key to being able to truly understand a subject. Arguing isn't the same, nor is whining and complaining that they can't get their way, but debating is truly important.

Also, teaching them to have the confidence to speak up for themselves rather than waiting for parents to "remove them immediately" is more important than any other lesson you can teach them, in my opinion. The key (and hardest lesson) is also teaching them to know when it is appropriate to do so and when it is appropriate for them to "shut the hell up and listen".

 

[Rhone Man]

The problem is not restricted to scuba. I could tell an interesting story about an ObGyn who was in the delivery room when his wife was giving birth. Very hard as a parent not to interfere, when there is a perceived threat (real or imagined) to your children.

I agree the best rule is to make a good decision about who you entrust your children to and then stand back. But I am not going to cast the first stone.

 

[jbird71]

Fixed that for you . Teaching your kids that they can debate and disagree with an instructor/coach is a negative for them later in life. If the instructor/coach is doing something to put them at risk, you should remove them immediately. Otherwise, it's zip it and listen.

I'm a professional educator by trade and have spent a lot of time coaching kids in various sports. Its one thing to ask questions and get clarification (good thing), but its another to take over the class over a minor topic (bad thing).

 

[knowone]

There are enough idiots without promoting clone production.

 

[Bossman]

Debating with an instructor is key to being able to truly understand a subject.

Note the original post I was responding to was the "I act as a mediator/advocate to resolve the issue". That doesn't sound like "trying to understand the subject", but a parent interjecting in an argument to decide if the child or instructor is correct. That's where I say "shut the hell up and listen, the instructor is correct".

 

[garyfotodiver]

Since teachers and instructors are not always correct, when there is a disagreement, I get involved. Have you ever had a issue with a college instructor? The Department head acts as the instructor's advocate, but who is the advocate for the student?

Let me give you a couple of examples from raising my 5 daughters. First, daughter #1 was at her first basketball training camp at the age of about 10 or 11. She argued with the coach, a NCAA division 1 head coach. I advocated and told her that she will never argue with the coach; just shut up and listen. She went on to play college b-ball AND was the first coach of the Women's JV b-ball team at the high school where she worked.

Second, daughter #2 was in Culinary school. She disagreed with the way the chef wanted her to hold her knife; it was different than how she taught herself. I explained that her technique was incorrect, and she would be marked down if she didn't follow instructions. She now has her Le Cordon Bleu diploma.

You see, Bossman, I never wrote just who or what I advocated for. I believe you assumed what you wanted to assume, for whatever reasons, and tried to start a flame.

I notice that you have no dives listed in your profile. Is there a reason for that? :mooner:

 

[garyfotodiver]

Oh, and one more tale... Daughter #4 failed her Jr. OW written test the first time. She complained bitterly about the instructors. After we spoke about it, she called up her eldest sister and complained to her-about me. Daughter #1 (see above post) stopped her in the middle of her rant. "OK, so he ripped you a new aperture, right? Then he said, 'Let's fix the problem.'" "How did you know?"

She passed the test the second time. Recently she completed 8 weeks of basic training with the IDF.