Diving & Children :babycrawl
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ProblemChild
Guest
Good topic. I have put off trying until the end of this dive season for many of the reasons mentioned here. I have seen some dive resorts in Cozumel which offer "camp" for the kids during the day, which doesn't quite seem like day care to me but may depending your point of view. Parents could at least get in a morning 2 tank dive and then do family vacation things later on in the day. Just an idea.
Oxygen Guru
Registered
I am a bit confused with this one. I am a mother of 2 wonderful boys now 11 and 8 and a husband who does not dive, but he loves to golf. We came up with a happy medium for our time, I dive and he golfs. We just organize our time so we both enjoy our passions equally.
My son has just completed his first two open water dives so I now have a dive buddy, in the past that was however a different story.
Are you, mom, putting your love for diving second so your husband can fulfill his love for diving while you choose to sit on the beach, by the pool etc and be the dutiful wife/mom?
I realize mom's do this often as I am one, but I will tell you that soon this gets old. Equality is important especially when you have children. Your time and experiences are as important as your partner and just as valuable.
Get out there on your own while he is with the children as he does when you are with the children. Fathers end up recieving as much from the experience with their children as you will with yourself, there is no such thing as sitting your own children.
I have met and learnt an incredible amount from independant diving,I also have a renewed confidence in myself, in order to dive I must go out, research and meet a new crew alone, as well as meet and find a dive buddy within the group that I feel comfortable with get my gear organized and checked, which has made me a very competant diver. I have had some funny and amazing dives, intervals and transport times with new people who I have met time and again in different areas. I now do 2 dive trips every year alone and I love the experience and also appreciate my ability to get out there organize a dive trip from start to end indepentantly and be able to competantly experience my entire dive trip. While I do this my husband at home in Western Canada usually has his own adventures with the boys who he can parent as effectively and efficiently as I can any day. We are a very strong and loving family who respects and values each other for our independance which we have passed on to both our children.
Please do not get me wrong, we mom's all put our self last, for many reasons. Just please VALUE yourself, your partner and your children. If you do they will learn your value as well as the knowledge that you respect yourself and value yourself, with out even knowing it you will be teaching them a valuable lesson.
If all else fails, pay extra and bring someone along whom you trust to watch the children while you and your partner are creating bubbles.
Dive Deep and Experience every second as though its your last.
My son has just completed his first two open water dives so I now have a dive buddy, in the past that was however a different story.
Are you, mom, putting your love for diving second so your husband can fulfill his love for diving while you choose to sit on the beach, by the pool etc and be the dutiful wife/mom?
I realize mom's do this often as I am one, but I will tell you that soon this gets old. Equality is important especially when you have children. Your time and experiences are as important as your partner and just as valuable.
Get out there on your own while he is with the children as he does when you are with the children. Fathers end up recieving as much from the experience with their children as you will with yourself, there is no such thing as sitting your own children.
I have met and learnt an incredible amount from independant diving,I also have a renewed confidence in myself, in order to dive I must go out, research and meet a new crew alone, as well as meet and find a dive buddy within the group that I feel comfortable with get my gear organized and checked, which has made me a very competant diver. I have had some funny and amazing dives, intervals and transport times with new people who I have met time and again in different areas. I now do 2 dive trips every year alone and I love the experience and also appreciate my ability to get out there organize a dive trip from start to end indepentantly and be able to competantly experience my entire dive trip. While I do this my husband at home in Western Canada usually has his own adventures with the boys who he can parent as effectively and efficiently as I can any day. We are a very strong and loving family who respects and values each other for our independance which we have passed on to both our children.
Please do not get me wrong, we mom's all put our self last, for many reasons. Just please VALUE yourself, your partner and your children. If you do they will learn your value as well as the knowledge that you respect yourself and value yourself, with out even knowing it you will be teaching them a valuable lesson.
If all else fails, pay extra and bring someone along whom you trust to watch the children while you and your partner are creating bubbles.
Dive Deep and Experience every second as though its your last.
Oxygen Guru:
OxyGuru, thanks for the responce.
Update: Since I posted this thread my hubby has had an injury and cannot dive for while, (so the fin is now on the other foot). He hates being out there on the beach "feeling worthless" as he put's it..and I've gone diving without him, with our scuba bunch and I've had great dives. I've also learned that it goes beyond confidence or assurance as a diver or maternal obligations; it's much more personal...
However, besides being my buddy he is my hubby and the diving experience we share is a beautiful one, mainly because we share each experience together! (even when something goes wrong).
Fellow divers, as you may know diving is such a wonderful and beautiful experience. It's as intimate as it is personal and I guess I'm extra lucky to be able to share all of it with the one I love. It does take one to another level/dimension. For those of us who love the sea, being able to share what many may never see, with those closest to us makes it all the more personal and beautiful!!
I've learned alot from all of your responces and perhaps even answered the original issue and then some.
Thank's! :dazzler1:
Sue-ba
Contributor
scbababe:
I have five children. I had twins right out the gate. I remember many, many times feeling sorry for myself because I was tied to the kids while hubby was out doing things. Of course, I never felt sorry for him while I was out and it was his turn with the babies. He was always the one that had to encourage me to get out and do something because I would have let myself stay home with them all the time...but probably resent it too. Yes, I felt a lot of self pity and even resentment over the many years but now that some are grown, 21, 21, 18, 14, 9, I cherish those moments of sacrifice with the still youngest. I am glad I still have the opportunity to have one that is too little to take care of herself. It wont be long before she is going to move out like the first 3 already have. If I had to do it all over again, I would not complain about one thing I missed because I now know that I would miss making the sacrifice.
Sue-ba
Contributor
As crazy as it sounds, even diving does not rank up there with the joy of being a mother.
well as I split from my wife yesterday and she didnt dive anyway, I guess I wont have this problem for a while, but I do feel that I can add a perspective.
My wife works shifts, sometines early, sometimes late. The best thing in the whole world for me, even better than diving was the nights she had to work, and Papi (me)got to have his little princessa all to him self. To me looking after my two and a half year old baby girl is the best thing in my life. The second best is a good cave dive.
I think that every parent thinks that their child is the most beautiful in the world, but they all have to be wrong, because in my case, it actually is true.
I cant wait to teach her to dive.
My wife works shifts, sometines early, sometimes late. The best thing in the whole world for me, even better than diving was the nights she had to work, and Papi (me)got to have his little princessa all to him self. To me looking after my two and a half year old baby girl is the best thing in my life. The second best is a good cave dive.
I think that every parent thinks that their child is the most beautiful in the world, but they all have to be wrong, because in my case, it actually is true.
I cant wait to teach her to dive.
I don`t see any thing wrond with leaving the kid with a sitter for a few hours while you go diving - it`s no like you`re letting your kid beraised by wolves - it`s just a few hours !! - How often is really down to you - how comfortable do you feel
BUT - it seems many people are in the same boat as you - maybe you can start a divers with kids travel club and arrange trips that include reliable baby sitting services - you could even "employ" some of the non diving spouses perhaps ... a business opportuity in the making maybe ?
BUT - it seems many people are in the same boat as you - maybe you can start a divers with kids travel club and arrange trips that include reliable baby sitting services - you could even "employ" some of the non diving spouses perhaps ... a business opportuity in the making maybe ?
...Into the fray I go....
Okay, I don't have kids, but I've seen a lot of couples switch off - with hubby diving on one day and the wife jumping in on the other. A modification of this could be for you to bring your baby along on the boat and have hubby make the first dive and you make the second. Most operations in S. Florida do two dive trips, so this shouldn't be too big an issue.
Once your child becomes older, he will begin to appreciate the diving environment (even though he can't jump in until he's a bit older) if both of you keep active. More often than not, the wife/mother tends to drop out, developing other interests and I would hate that to happen to you.
So I guess the main point is keeping active and sharing the responsibility. But periodically, you can get a babysitter so both of you can jump in together! Hope to see ya on a boat sometime soon!
Regards,
Hadley Killough
Kissimmee, FL
NAUI & SSI Instructor
Okay, I don't have kids, but I've seen a lot of couples switch off - with hubby diving on one day and the wife jumping in on the other. A modification of this could be for you to bring your baby along on the boat and have hubby make the first dive and you make the second. Most operations in S. Florida do two dive trips, so this shouldn't be too big an issue.
Once your child becomes older, he will begin to appreciate the diving environment (even though he can't jump in until he's a bit older) if both of you keep active. More often than not, the wife/mother tends to drop out, developing other interests and I would hate that to happen to you.
So I guess the main point is keeping active and sharing the responsibility. But periodically, you can get a babysitter so both of you can jump in together! Hope to see ya on a boat sometime soon!
Regards,
Hadley Killough
Kissimmee, FL
NAUI & SSI Instructor
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