Wingy, your story made me shudder. This makes it 3 people that I'm acquainted with that have had such a horrid experience. Here's hoping that's all there will ever be.
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FWIW, I had an employee lose her passport a second time. She was able to get short term passports issued with 6 month validity on proof of booked travel for a few years before they would issue a full passport again. In both cases she lost her passports in Vegas LOL.The passport thing could be important. Perhaps a "dry" bag could be something that's truly water proof. My wife had her passport stolen from her room when she was in several years back. It was replaced, but if it is lost/stolen again they won't replace it a second time for 5 years. So you can't really leave the country. That's Canada's deal anyway. Incidentally, the Canadian Consulate in L.A. was not helpful at all with her situation. Basically "you're on your own".