engineer / lawyer joke

[Tanstaafl]

COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS - TAKE ONE

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said "Where

did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied: "Well, I was walking along yesterday

minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She

threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take

what you want.'"

The second engineer nodded approvingly: "Good choice; the clothes

probably wouldn't have fit."

 

[jonnythan]

Comprehending Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

 

[ONESPEED]

 

[reefduffer]

How can you recognize an extrovert engineer?







He's the one that looks at your shoes when he talks to you.

 

[Sol]

A physicist, a chemist, and an economist get shipwrecked and washed up on a desert island. There's nothing to eat. Just as they're about to starve, a big wave hits the beach and washes up a single can of beans.

They start talking about how to get it open. Physicist says, well, we can build a fire, and heat the can until the pressure builds up inside and forces the can open.

Chemist says, that's no good, the pressure will create an explosion and blow the beans all over the place. We can gather some of these plants, extrude the sap, concentrate it, and use it to corrode the can until it cracks open.

Physicist says, well, that won't work any better -- it'll poison the beans.

They both look at the economist.

Economist says, well, let's assume we have a can opener ...

 

[AlbertaDan]

Three engineers were discussing what type of engineer designed the human body.

The engineer said it had to be one of his kind. Just look at the nervous system with all the different types of nerves to sense touch, feel temperature and control muscle movement. All of this while the brain also controls involuntary movements like breathing and heart rate.

The structural engineer said it had to be one of his kind. He pointed out the ball joints like the shoulder, simple hinge joints like the knee and elbow, and much more complex supports like the spine and protective structures like the head.

The process engineer said it had to be one of his kind. Look at the blood system carrying nutrients all over the body. The digestive system efficiently processing food and drink to derive vitamins and minerals.

Then simultaneously thought the same thing. It had to be a civil engineer. Who else would put a sewage system right next to a playground!