Scandi Divers
Contributor
Hi guys,
I have been writing about my last ten years working and traveling in the dive industry. I have got 90,000 words on paper which have not been edited. I would appreciate your honest feedback on these opening paragraphs.
You never forget seeing your first Whale shark it happened off Ningaloo reef in Western Australia. It was a rough day at sea with huge swells, a group of us jumped off the boat into the deep waters of the Indian Ocean we were hectically swimming after the worlds’ biggest fish a true giant of the sea. The huge twenty-five-foot dark shadow came closer to us its spots now in full view as it gulped down the tiny plankton in the water column. Its massive gills quivered as the filtered water gushed back into the ocean. With a couple of swipes of its tail it was gone I looked at the girl next to me and smiled thinking we had just shared a perfect moment together. She took out her snorkel and vomited, the water turned a pale-yellow color with the heavier vegetables sinking towards the bottom. Thrashing my arms wildly I tried and get away from the freshly delivered fish food.
Swimming back towards the boat I put my head back underwater hoping for a final glance of a whale shark. Instead there was a six-foot-long sea snake coming right towards me. It was the first time in my life seeing one of the most venomous snakes that could kill in seconds. I totally **** my board shorts and rocketed out of the water like a missile fired from a nuclear submarine. I landed on the back deck with a slap that an elephant seal would be proud of. It was during my year in Australia that I fell in love with the underwater world. It would take me on a journey that I never imagined in my wildest dreams.
Thanks in advance for your feedback. I'm looking for an editor if you have any recommendations.
Warm regards
Kris
I have been writing about my last ten years working and traveling in the dive industry. I have got 90,000 words on paper which have not been edited. I would appreciate your honest feedback on these opening paragraphs.
You never forget seeing your first Whale shark it happened off Ningaloo reef in Western Australia. It was a rough day at sea with huge swells, a group of us jumped off the boat into the deep waters of the Indian Ocean we were hectically swimming after the worlds’ biggest fish a true giant of the sea. The huge twenty-five-foot dark shadow came closer to us its spots now in full view as it gulped down the tiny plankton in the water column. Its massive gills quivered as the filtered water gushed back into the ocean. With a couple of swipes of its tail it was gone I looked at the girl next to me and smiled thinking we had just shared a perfect moment together. She took out her snorkel and vomited, the water turned a pale-yellow color with the heavier vegetables sinking towards the bottom. Thrashing my arms wildly I tried and get away from the freshly delivered fish food.
Swimming back towards the boat I put my head back underwater hoping for a final glance of a whale shark. Instead there was a six-foot-long sea snake coming right towards me. It was the first time in my life seeing one of the most venomous snakes that could kill in seconds. I totally **** my board shorts and rocketed out of the water like a missile fired from a nuclear submarine. I landed on the back deck with a slap that an elephant seal would be proud of. It was during my year in Australia that I fell in love with the underwater world. It would take me on a journey that I never imagined in my wildest dreams.
Thanks in advance for your feedback. I'm looking for an editor if you have any recommendations.
Warm regards
Kris
