First ocean open water, so disappointed

[jfe]

My wife, incidentally called Jackie, had many issues during her training, was high altitude quarry so fresh water and the training areas we're well divided so a student could not accidently go deeper than his level of training, so OW was restricted to 12m (40ft). She struggled with anxiety and like you worked hard on getting certified, took her longer than the average person. On our first dive in the quarry together after she qualified she suddenly without any sign or warning bolted to the surface after about a 3 min swim at 35ft, scarred the lights out of me. So we called the day's diving for her and I joined with another group. Couple of dives on and she was comfortable we left on a trip to the coast, nice warm and clear waters of Mozambique, that time she was about 15 fresh water dives in after certification. Got on the boat and set out to the first dive site, halfway there I saw her getting distressed. When it was time to kit up she was terrified and it took me a lot of pep talk to comfort her and ensure her she is not letting me or anyone down at all and the only disappointment would have been if she got in the water and freaked and drowned or got injured.
There is no shame in it, it is your life and you are the only one who have control over it. Diving is not a dare, you've done the right thing and keep that mind-set and take time to work with your issues and you'll turn out great. Remember your anxiousness not to disappoint may cause additional stress and you have the snowball effect, your pace, your comfort.

 

[outofofficebrb]

Everyone had awesome things to say before me and they are all right!

I have a rule even to this day, even after having more dives under my belt. I make a rule so that there's not more than one new thing I have to fiddle with for a dive to reduce stress and task loading. I think it's wise for experienced divers, too.

My suggestion: Thailand will be warm and clear. Get an open water referral and finish the open water ocean dives in thailand. Finish your pool and any classroom work here. If you need extra sessions in the pool to get comfortable with basic skills to increase your confidence level, do that before going. Good luck and keep us posted on how it goes!

 

[diversteve]

you apparently missed this in her first post:

I just certified on April 8, 2017.

 

[outofofficebrb]

you apparently missed this in her first post:

Wow - gold star for me for trying to post whole jet lagged. Thanks for pointing that out!

Skip the part about referral and maybe brush up on skills in pool that might help you relax more that you're not 100% comfortable with - like mask off and eyes closed to simulate not being able to see in poor viz. try and make a standing one on one with an instructor or DM on a day that is supposed to have better viz to ease you in.

 

[CT-Rich]

When I started diving Jaws was still a fresh movie... I even read the book and watched it on VHS. Stupid me. Rolling into Long Island Sound with its <5 ft vis caused me a lot of claustrophobic stress. dropping down a 90 ft anchor line with no bottom or surface in sight freaked me out a lot at the time (green in all directions is pretty much the same as black). The thing that all ways helped me is to focus on getting to the nearest stable place (interestingly that is usually the bottom or outside the surf line, not shore or the boat). I focus on breathing until I calm down. I remember as long as I have air, I am fine. Everything else beyond breathing is a detail I can deal with later. What ever happens, focus on breathing first. Close your eye in low vis and calm down. Lost buddy? No problem, calm down first. You won't die if you lose your buddy or are not sure the direction to shore. All problems get sorted out after you get control of your breathing. Everything comes second to controlling anxiety. once you have that, each problem gets your attention one at a time.

You got in an overwhelming situation. You learn, but they happen. The quality of a diver isn't measured by how you handle thing that go right, its how you handle things when they go south. You will get to Thailand and be amazed at how much easier the diving is because you've seen how sh%tty it can get in a cold water surf entry.

 

[george_austin]

California beach diving is an entirely different animal from just about any other form of sport diving. Most of us that have been doing it a long time were already experienced skin divers and beach people before we took up scuba. California boat diving is a little easier but cold water and the extra gear required is just a fact of life. It takes many years to become proficient at diving here. You didn't get hurt or get anyone else hurt and that's all that matters now. I think you'll find Thailand, which is at the other end of the spectrum, kind of like diving in a swimming pool with tons of pretty fish. I'm sure you'll love it

 

[Kharon]

My first OW training dive was in cold water with a 7mm wetsuit, hood, boots, and gloves. THat required a ton of weight and the instructer overweighted me. I had an awful time with buoyancy. It pissed me off m ore than frightened me but it was still an awful first dive.

Since then I have done a bunch of things to make it less of a problem. First layering - I switched to a 3mm ultra stretch suit with a couple of polyolefin under suits and if it's really cold a 3mm vest. I've dove in 42°F temps and was fine. I also switched to 2.5mm gloves and a 2.5mm hood with a 2mm beanie under it. The thick hood was very claustrophobic. The light hood not at all. Went from needing 28# to 10-12#

My hands and face sometimes get a bit chilled but not really cold. Certainly not as cold as when I used to go ice fishing. For me it's not about being completely toasty warm. It's being warm enough to be safe from hypothermia and relatively comfortable.

 

[Stoo]

I really really love diving ...

There is some great advice up above... but I'll add my $.03 worth (I've allowed for the exchange on the Canadian Peso)...

Not everyone takes to diving "instantly" and the reasons for that are many and varied. I taught diving for 25 years and I can tell you that there actually are people who should never leave "terra firma"... you do not sound like one of those, because you state clearly that you love diving... So as long as you are being honest, then I offer the following:

1) Baby steps. CA shore diving is, I understand, not exactly "easy"... Get some easier dives under your weightbelt before you tackle this stuff
2) Thailand = awesome diving
3) Thick wetsuits are a challenge for any new diver. If you intend to dive in colder water too, then get in to some additional training where these suits are going to be worn.
4) Realistically asses your physical and mental readiness for diving... are you a healthy weight? Are you in shape? If not, begin a programme to improve your fitness. Diving is full of obese, chain-smokers, but many struggle as a result. Your exposure to a a "slamming" shore dive is the kind of dive that separates the "men from the boys", and being fit, tilts the scale in your favour.
5) Don't compare your performance to your kid's. Kids (I'm assuming he's a teenager) take to diving like no other "group" of people. I think it's because they are the perfect combination of "fit and fearless"...

And finally, Mrs Stoo, who is my favorite body and my main photographic model started out being really uneasy in the water. She was not a born water rat like me and was very uneasy. She took her training from me and she struggled (I ran a tough course). In fact, she didn't complete her open water dives and had to return for "remedial" pool time. ANd now, many years later, she's super comfortable in the water, and LOVES it... even in cold water.

So carry on, but be sure to treat yourself to some additional "confined" water diving... even a pool...

And enjoy Thailand!

 

[Lorenzoid]

My OW course was at La Jolla Shores. The discomfort of a 7 mm suit, hood and gloves is why I rarely dived locally when I lived in San Diego, and on the rare occasions I did dive locally I dived from a boat, not shore. As others have said, shore diving in California can be quite challenging, depending on the surf conditions. You might have had an easier and more enjoyable time had you taken a boat out. These guys, for example: San Diego SCUBA Diving, Charter Boat Dives. Dive Trips

At least you have the tropical water (and thin wetsuit) in Thailand to look forward to.

 

[TMHeimer]

CT--1975 in the Sound--Just think, you could've also been nipped by the lobsters that were still there back then.
I've been in 0 viz and slightly better quite a few times. It still can be a little daunting even though you know you're (probably....) not gunna meet up with Jaws.