Forum behavior: Split from "Newly Certified Diver OOA at Gilboa"

[redrover]

Ok, I cannot resist any longer.
I seem to have missed much of what when on here, before…whatevas. And I have no clue about diving liability except it does seem to be a real inflamatory point with professionals unlike any other sport, profession or activity I’ve been involved with.

But in the Gilboa thing, 2 (at least) people sure sounded to me like they were admonishing fisherdvm of potentially criminal dereliction of duty because he did not do everything in his power to stop an incident he did not witness, apparently because he was in a DM program and perhaps because he was a Dr.

And someone I have respected before, certainly seemed to be giving him a good talking to about telling the real professionals what to do with out having any experience or credential to even open his mouth. I missed completely where that all came from, what triggered it...maybe I read too fast.

And all that DM bashing (IMO) certainly trounced any consideration I had for going thru a DM program as educational, seeing as how I’ve no interest is being a Professional DM.

My point is, here I am, completely out of the picture, or unrelated to the events, classes, posters and I sure wondered if fisherdvm needed first aid after basically asking what seemed to me a reasonable question – any one could reasonably ask.

Tho, of course now, I wonder if I’ll need any ice bags and sutures. Ah well, I’m a long way away from just about everyone else, it’s pretty late by the time I’m here in my time zone. Maybe I’ll feel better having said my piece and escape under the radar J.

 

[El Orans]

You can delete posts at will, and reign people in with your power. Perhaps that's why you get nicer response than others?

Nah, I could do basically anything I want as an Administrator and it has happened to me that my PMs and/or threads go unanswered.

 

[bowlofpetunias]

I guess a SB addict can not stay off the board. Thanks for the many positive PM's. It seems like you know who the A$$es are, and yet they still get you mad. But if semicivilized folks get angry and leave, there wouldn't be anyone left except NetDoc and the A$$es. Next time, I get frustrated, I'll have to change my email so the PM's don't come through.

Delighted to see you back. You are right if you/we let the jerks get to us and leave the whole board deteriorates to their level. My experience with people in the past who have told me "I don't like to beat around the bush" and "I say it like it is and call a spade a spade" tend to have an inflated idea of the value of their opinion. Those types of comments most often precede a blast that has more to do with saying what they want to say and very little to do with effective communication.
Communication is about the sender (communicator) and the receiver (listener). If the sender has poor skills and blasts the receiver the receiver shuts down, withdraws, yes sometimes get defensive. The message is not effective and the communication exchange fails.
Someone here mentioned there are many cultures represented some cultures have higher expectations for polite discussions and expressing disagreement. I think that is a factor here.
I believe I have a right to tell someone if I feel they are not meeting acceptable standards when they communicate with me. Their perceived right to "let me have it with both barrels" does not out weight my right to be treated with respect.
If the goal here really is to communicate then equal consideration must be paid to the sender and the receiver. If the goal is to have a rant, the principals of effective communication have been discarded and effective communication has been abandoned.

 

[The Chairman]

Rick, do you feel that being an SB staff helps? You can delete posts at will, and reign people in with your power. Perhaps that's why you get nicer response than others?

Nah, it doesn't help at all. I routinely get accused of being a power hungry moron. Trolls get down right bitter when you interfere with their trolling. There have been threads (one current) and even websites essentially devoted to these malcontents who simply can not BELIEVE that they have had their trollish behavior censored in a thread or possibly an entire forum. No, they don't have the right to disrupt everyone else.

Personally, I find these outbursts against me kind of funny. Most everyone who knows me, can see that these people are just lashing out in frustration and anger: I could care less about power. I am the owner and so I am the target: that's OK. However, I take it personally when you do the same to my staff: especially in public.

Here is some good advice for just about everyone. If/when you feel the whole Board is out to get you, or maybe it's only a mod or a couple of users: TAKE A BREAK. Just like work, it's OK to take a vacation from us. I promise that we will still be around when you decide to return and we won't hire someone new to take your user name. You might need a day, a week or even an entire month to adjust your perspective. Just do it. Communities such as this can be addictive, and that is NOT healthy. You might be surprised, but I even encourage my Mods and Advisors to do the same. You can tell us that you are leaving, but it's less dramatic when you just slip off of the radar for a couple of days to gain your perspective. It's also easier to return when you feel like it.

There is a LOT to learn here, and we love how busy we have become: especially with our new features and with a number of new features that are yet to come. Just don't lose your balance. Don't neglect your job, your spouse, your kids or even Fluffy (your pet). Don't burn out on us completely. We want you to stick around for a LONG time.

 

[fisherdvm]

I think Halemano has a signature on his post that is kind of like the scerenity prayer: Can't do a darn things about things I can't change, but I'll work on chaning how I deal with the things I can't change. Which is certainly helpful. If one want's to change a poster's opinion or viewpoint, you're just going to get mad. But if you accept their opinion or rudeness as their personality, it is a little bit better to swallow.

I constantly have to remind myself everyday, 9 out of 10 people who walks through the front door of my office are on a psychotropic medication, and 3 out of 10 have narcissistic or antisocial personality disorder. If I can please 90% of them, I am doing a good job. But, I can still work to please 95% of them. Some folks, like TSM, probably can deal with 99% of difficult people.

By getting angry over a poster's comments and houndings, I am not working on my ability to work well with people. Which is a personal defect - which all of us have to work on.

 

[The Chairman]

You are right if you/we let the jerks get to us and leave the whole board deteriorates to their level.

If you are constantly seeing those who disagree with you as "jerks", then it's wise to step back a bit. This forum exists because we all have different opinions. If you see those who disagree with YOUR opinion as "foes", then you have missed the point of having and learning from an open discussion.

I did not see any flaming or insults given in the thread this was split off of. Having a difference of opinion is NOT the same as being a jerk. Now, if I missed a slight or insult, please report that post and be specific about which parts violated the ToS and why. To my knowledge, we had only ONE reported post and it was not very specific as to what we should be looking for. We all looked, but have failed to turn up anything.

 

[fisherdvm]

Testing.

 

[fisherdvm]

Hey, the disclaimer thing really work.

 

[ScubaSteve]

Hey, the disclaimer thing really work.

Your signature you mean?

 

[rakkis]

... I have no clue about diving liability except it does seem to be a real inflamatory point with professionals unlike any other sport...

It's not inflammatory. It's really quite simple: You reduce your legal liability by reducing the risk to people you are responsible for as much as possible. Most industries have widely-accepted ways of doing that.

Absolutely nobody called the OP on "not doing all he could". He had his duty.. keeping the students in his charge safe... and he recognized it. All we said was he should not have sent a non-professional to (possible) harm's way.

Of course that was before it was mentioned that the person who he sent was a fireman.

Also, then it was found out he's not a DM and should not have been supervising anybody in the first place.