Funny dive stories

[MikeFerrara]

Spent the last couple of days reading all the accident reports. It was a brutal weekend and it's getting kind of depressing so how about some stories of dive mishaps where there were only laughs and no injuries?


We were on a single tank wreck dive in Lake Michigan. My wife did a real nice giant stride off the boat. She's not very big anyway but the Capt. remarked how she didn't even make a splash. She signaled "ok" as she turned to face us and quietly asked if some one could please hand her fins down to her.

 

[michaelp68]

I bumped my head into a picnic table in a lake this past weekend. Probably used during the ice fishing season before it 'settled' to the bottom where some day I'd be swimming along....

 

[GERRY2153]

When i did my oper water test, the viz was a little bit limited ( like pea soup in the blender) for the firs 10-15 feet, there were four of us with the instructor, he was the leader, and each of us was holding on to the one in front's gauge console so not to get lost. Everyone signaled ready, the instructor went down followed by the first and second students, the third guy looked back at me and says " are we supposed to have our fins on?" .... ahhhh yea ....and told him that he better give a tug on the line to get the others back up...... he later made a really good decision and bailed on the rest of the test.

 

[BungyJumper]

I did my PADI AOW class in Cozumel in late May. I did all the "knowledge reviews" and reviewed them with the instructor on the way to the dive site. One of my electives was "Peak Performance Bouyancy." (Yes, you know where this is going...) I giant-strided off the boat to do my bouyancy training dive and forgot my weights on the boat. Doh!

 

[cornfed]

I giant-strided off the boat to do my bouyancy training dive and forgot my weights on the boat. Doh!

I discovered how badly overweighted I was the same way. I forgot my weight belt one time and still managed to get down. It was a struggle and I would drift up ever so slowly but it was a real eye opener.

 

[Big-t-2538]

Ahhh....funny stuff...

MY roomate at one time made a trip to europe where she decided to dive during her travels.

They asked her how much lead she needed and she of course replied with 22 or whatever it was that she wore at that time.

Well, the gave her 22....22KG that is. She said her back never hurt more during a dive.

 

[Mako Mark]

I used to work on livaboards in Australia and week after week, I would get a kick out of seeing the (mainly) European and Japanese clients mistake Vegimite for chocolate spread.

Hotcakes with vegimite and whipped cream.............ummmmmmm. It still brings tears to my eyes thinking about it.

The Europeans would generally laugh or complain loudly, and the Japanese (bless 'em) were too polite, so would descreetly pretend that it wasnt their plate and go and either puke over the side or get some more breakfast, depending on their constitution.

.

 

[MikeFerrara]

My wife and I went to a local quarry to practice some drills for one of her tech classes and my IANTD instructor course.

She was going to do valve shutdowns so I thought I'd do mine at the same time to move things along quicker...bad idea.

She shut here right post down and switched to her backup while I did the same. She switched back to her primary and shut down her left post...without turning her primary back on.

She came to me to take my primary but it was off.

She was turning blue so I gave her my backup which was on a short hose and a necklace. The necklace didn't want to come off so I slipped over my head knocking my mask off.

There we were with 400 cu ft of gas between us, only one reg(on a very short hose) breathable and my mask was gone. I had visions of them finding us drowned at 20 ft with tons of gas and everything turned off.

My son was hovering right there watching us but when he realized what was going on he started laughing too hard to do anything. he laughed so hard I thought he had a free flow or something.

Of course I just reached back and turned my primary back on but that was hard to do because she was in the way.

Oh and we had decompression bottles with us that were breathable at that depth so I guess we had more like 560 cu ft of gas. I guess she liked my regs better anyway.

 

[jrtonkin]

While out diving a small, cottage-surrounded, lake we happened to swim past a couple of golf-balls. I was feeling a little silly, and since we weren't on any sort of achieve-the-objective dive, just putting in some U/W time and having fun, on a "I wonder if I can..." I started juggling them. A moment later my buddy looks back to see what's holding me up, and I think she nearly laughed her reg out of her mouth.

Jamie

 

[MikeFerrara]

While out diving a small, cottage-surrounded, lake we happened to swim past a couple of golf-balls. I was feeling a little silly, and since we weren't on any sort of achieve-the-objective dive, just putting in some U/W time and having fun, on a "I wonder if I can..." I started juggling them. A moment later my buddy looks back to see what's holding me up, and I think she nearly laughed her reg out of her mouth.

Jamie

We like to play catch with bowling balls underwater.