Gropers

[kbashara]

First, let me say that I'm sorry you had this experience. It's so disappointing to hear of a man behaving this way.

I'd definitely let the groper know that my dive knife can be used for castration and that I would be more than happy to feed what I cut off to the fish on my next dive...

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[Fatterboy]

No means no. YOU have to tell them no, don't try to avoid them or give disapproving looks, TELL THEM NO. Don't worry about what they think of you, it doesn't matter I hope. He doesn't care what you think of him...apparently.

However, I am sorry there are people out there like that.

 

[PACKRMAN]

During my Rescue class the victim was rather well built. I found out it was very difficult to tread water, unbuckle buckles, unsnap snaps, give rescue breaths and apologize all at the same time. I am pretty sure it bothered me more than her.

 

[miked]

During my Rescue class the victim was rather well built. I found out it was very difficult to tread water, unbuckle buckles, unsnap snaps, give rescue breaths and apologize all at the same time. I am pretty sure it bothered me more than her.

A similar situation: Unintentional groper:
I was on a dive boat, at the site, sitting all geared up, and waiting for my group to be called. A young lady was seated across from me. When her group was called, she stood up, and started walking (fins on)-just as the boat "lurched", which propelled her towards me, off balance. I reflexively put my hands up-aiming for her shoulders-just as she stretched/reached up for a handrail that was attached to the ceiling-and missed.There we were-she leaning over/landed on me, and all that prevented a face to gear collision was the fact that I held her up-by her boobs-(courtesy of her stretching up as I aimed for her shoulders.....)which were crushed against my hands, effectively pinning my hands to my chest as well.
It got worse, as, due to center of gravity, etc., she could not stand up. Nor could I, as she was standing on my fins....
She starts laughing, as I start blushing, I said "ummmm" and she says, "Push"....which I did.
Afterwards, we both had a good laugh about it!

BTW, This one funny situation should not take away from the serious thought that real groping is totally unacceptable.

 

[kbashara]

I don't think we're talking about incidental physical contact for the sake of safety or equipment checks here. Unless I've misunderstood, the groper in question behaved in such a way that earned him a nickname from the women in the dive group. No level-headed woman (that I know of), participating in a sport where some physical contact is to be expected would take umbrage to comments about positioning "the girls" or "the boys" for proper equipment fitting. Nor would a grab of a harness or BC strap, etc. be offensive.

Usually, the offensive behavior is observed both on land and on water and is part of a larger, yet harder to define set of subtly inappropriate behaviors that include overly close talking, too frequent and too intimate physical contact, too prolonged eye contact ie. "undressing with the eyes", and TMI comments or jokes. Any one of the behaviors is usually no big deal on it's own, but as part of the whole M.O. serves to make someone feel very uncomfortable. Even more problematic is when these set of behaviors is exhibited by someone with actual or perceived authority. Actual authority being a dive instructor, charter captain/crew, etc. Perceived authority being the "older" individual described in the original post (we are trained from a young age to respect our elders and as such many people are afraid of insulting or upsetting someone who is markedly older than themselves).

I am not a prude or an SNL "church-lady"-type. I have an extreme potty-mouth and am sometimes known as a 'hugger" - so I'm not easily offended by profanity, humor or casual physical contact. (Why I am compelled to qualify my position might be a topic for later discussion...LOL ) However, I have had the misfortune to experience similar harassment outside the realm of scuba-diving and let's just say it made a big impression...

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[lindenbruce]

This is not scuba related, but is along the lines on what kbashara just said. Myself and another investigator were in a local city following up on a case. We're both men and had to go to an all women's substance abuse recovery house to try and track down a certain individual. Well, as we were there talking to the head of the household, there were about ten or twelve ladies right around us. It didn't take long but we started feeling VERY uncomfortable. Once we had obtained the information we needed we left. Well, once we got back into our vehicle we just sat there for several minutes trying to make sense of what had just happened. We both felt as though we had just been molested by every pair of eyes in the house and it did not leave a good feeling at all. We felt dirty and violated. So yes, I know what you ladies go through when this happens.

Like Kbashara I too have been known to be rank around the guys and doing what I did for 21 years you can't help but have a thick skin. But the above incident left a lasting impression that's for sure. It gave me a whole new perspective on some of what you ladies go through. B

 

[Ana]

No means no. YOU have to tell them no, don't try to avoid them or give disapproving looks, TELL THEM NO. Don't worry about what they think of you, it doesn't matter I hope. He doesn't care what you think of him...apparently.

However, I am sorry there are people out there like that.

I strongly agree with this, I read the earlier posts noting how the creep ignored polite hints and such... polite? really? a guy is being an a$$ and he gets polite back? why allow room for misunderstanding?

These type of men require the 2 x 4 over the head approach, the sooner they get the message the better it is for everyone involved.

 

[teecup]

It's a scary predicament, but it looks like groping in a group dive isn't the norm.

 

[beepbird]

I got groped by a couple of people on a dive but that was only because the viz was about 6 inches. I was holding the hand of my buddy doing search patterns in a class. The gropers were another group of divers searching as well. Perfectly understandable as if i let go of my buddy, I would never find him again.

 

[Goodtime Adventures]

Eeeewww, I think that's horrific and sorry to hear this! Never had it happen to me, nor have other female divers ever mentioned this as being something that happens. You wouldn't go up to a girl in a bikini on a beach and grope her (no! you'd get arrested for it!) so why is it acceptable under water?