How girls can avoid being hit on?

[ZenDiver.3D]

Ma'am, it sure is nice to meet a real lady. It sounds to me as though your husband is lucky man. I wish you and your husband and family well.

Why thank you. I don't know if He feels lucky All the time.... But I do love him. I got the good end of the stick on that deal.

This thread just goes on and on, and it doesn't need to. I run the boats, and am usually the only chick on a boat of 15. Doesn't matter.
I may sound harsh, but some women are immature and/or crass. They need to get some self-confidence and learn how to take care of themselves. It's not that tricky. Others just have no clue how to live out there.
Boys are boys, no matter how old they are or where they live. Generally good enough. If they get out of hand, sort them out. Not that hard. And don't project motives on them that aren't actually there. Sometimes being nice is JUST being nice.

 

[MissBubblyDiver]

I just am stern and either tell them you are old enough to be my father (something that truly disgusts me and is often the case) or I don't appreciate what they are saying to me and find it inappropriate. I'm upfront. I'm a lady and deserve to be treated as such. Not as a sex object. They usually back off. It's sad but many (certainly not all) men feel because of their sex they can treat any woman this way. Society tells them it's okay and that women are a sort of "gate keeper". In other words it's up to us. Stupid, I know because it takes the responsibility off the man but I doubt it will ever change. Just be stern and demand respect.

 

[Louie]

Sit in a corner and yawn whenever a man starts yacking on about some harrowing and danger-filled dive he'd supposedly done (trapped in a wreck in strong current and low viz at 60 metres).

If a man tries to impress her with his expensive gear, respond: "Oh yeah, those are nice - my auntie has the same setup."

 

[DESIGNERDIVER]

Wow! What a thread! As I was reading I kept saying to myself (yup, I talk to myself now, old age, I guess) I WILL NOT POST ON THE THREAD....but I can't resist:

Seems to me to be an education or values problem. I was educated (in the old days)to DO THINGS FOR WOMEN (now you can tell I was born in the Stone Age). Nowadays, these are the things I do and the comments I get back:

1. Open the car passenger door for a woman. " Hey, Leapy, you think I'm a cripple or something".
2. Open the door to any building and let the lady pass first. "Do you work here as a bellboy?"
3. Make dinner, clean up afterwards "Poor guy, you must have had a lonely childhood".
4. Carry grocery parcels so she carries nothing. "I am NOT giving you a TIP"
5. Try to give concrete solution to concrete problems. "I don't want your advice, just listen to me for Christ's sake".
6. Be attentive to women on social occasions. "Do you really think you are going to have sex with all of us?"
7. Help women on and off the dive boat. " I have two legs, in case you haven't noticed".
8. Help them get their gear on before they roll back into the 8ft Ocean waves. "I may be green in the face, throwing up and perspiring but I can do this myself, thank you".

9. Attempt to carry their gear down or up from the dive. "Do I look as though I am in a wheelchair, mister?"
10. Be attentive to women underwater whose husband, boyfriend or whatever dive buddies take no notice of (after all it goes with the job).............hey, THIS WORKS! Two minutes later her buddy stays no more than 2 feet away for the rest of the dive!

Honey, I am from the Deep South. I feel for you when you get those responses. I would NEVER say such things to you or any man who uses such good manners. I can certainly open my own door, but you are showing respect and gentlemanly behavior by opening it for me. The same goes for the rest. I can always tell you "Thank you darlin' but I am fine carrying this bag." I can always show appreciation for thoughtfulness. Some women are not secure enough to understand that you are not trying to dominate or make them weak... Others think you are hitting on them... Others are just rude..... My hubby is from Longview, Texas, and he will Always do the above behaviors and say maam. His momma would kill him if he didn't. My children will be just like him. Those women who can't figure out how to stop a guy from hitting on them, need to figure it out. It is not that tricky. And some think Everybody is hitting on them when the guy is just being a nice guy. Also, figure it out....

well Im am NOT from the deep south I am from NY and believe it or not I feel the same way as Zendiver does. Chivalry in a man in my opinion is a refreshing welcome. It shows that he sees me as a lady and is treating me as such.
I have been a single mom for a long time..............I have owned my own home, fixed up my own home and have had to do a lot of "manly" chores, however when a gentleman tries to help me I will most of the time welcome it and appreciate it. As far as being helped while on the dive boat, I am ok with that, I am not helpless but from time to time need a helping hand. as far as being hit on.............well that hasnt happened yet (probably due to the fact that I travel with a very muscular Italian guy) but if and when I do get hit on(anywhere for that matter) like Zen said ya just got to know how to handle it!!

 

[MissBubblyDiver]

Leapfrog there is a difference in being social with women and saying "oh you should leave your t shirt off" or "bend over to pick up those tanks" or a man you don't know just trying to take a picture of you getting out of your wetsuit and opening doors or helping a woman with gear. There is also a difference with helping a woman if she's having trouble and helping her calling her "sweetheart" and commenting on how she's weak. I work for two male instructors who are nothing but respectful and polite. They tell me to be careful when taking off my wetsuit etc. I have stayed away from others who tell me not to wear a wetsuit in the pool sessions and so on. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. In my experience, most men in this business try to treat me like a sex object. I tell them that's not okay and that's it. If they are genuinely trying to help then there is no issue.
And boys my age don't open doors. At least from my experience in Florida they don't. Ugh.

 

[Clammy]

Cali diver guys are more polite!

 

[bambina_85]

My girlfriend complains that she always gets hit on when she is going diving on a dive boat. She is not interested picking up guys, she just wants to go diving and minds her own business. Any suggestion?

As a single, 23 year old female diver, who travels when diving solo, and who also gets hit on, I offer the following:

1. Enjoy it. Your gf must be hot. And she is a diver. A hot girl scuba diver. Why wouldn't she get hit on?
2. As long as she remains faithful, count yourself lucky because you have a HOT SCUBA DIVER for a girlfriend!
3. I also have no interests in picking up men when I go diving, as romance on an LB, or any holiday destination tends to be short lived and fraught with disaster. So, just tell her to be polite and firm and rebuff the advance. Usually they'll get it. If not, just toss them overboard. Or hit them with a heavily laden weight belt.

 

[drbill]

I hope I never come on to a woman except in an appropriate and humorous way. I am one of those who finds packaging to be nice to look at, but content of far greater interest. Thus it would be hard for me to determine my interest in a woman just based on her physical appearance. I need to spend time talking to a woman before I really know if there is any interest. Of course by that time she's walked away!

 

[Deefstes]

I need to spend time talking to a woman before I really know if there is any interest. Of course by that time she's walked away!

...and accused you of hitting on her.

 

[Hammerhead]

If she is hot, 99% of the guys are being nice for a hidden reason.

That's among the most depressing things I've read here.

It's also among the most damning, judgmental, blinkered, offensive, sexist and downright stupid things I've read here as well.

I hope that you weren't serious. If you were, I don't envy you your paranoia.