How to piss off a Divemaster?

[bowlofpetunias]

I always read on SB about some DM that did this or did that to somebody. We always hear the recreational divers version as the poor victim of some A hole divemaster.
Well, I'd like to change things around for once. I'd like to know what recreational divers and people do that can really piss off a divemaster?
Divemasters work their butts off for very little pay and sometimes not even for that. They have to put up with a lot of crap and still hold a smile. It can be a real thankless job.

I'd like to know from our fleet of DM's on this board what are some of the things that gall you the most that people do, things that really get under your skin, whether it's on a charter boat, in a class, on a guided tour, maybe an instructor your working for or interning with, a shop you're connected with, anything.

People, pay attention. This is their time to vent about YOU for once.
We can all learn from this and become better customers and better divers.

Bold added... This is the topic according to the OP. Seems fair to respect that. I for one really would like to hear from DM's the answer to the OP's questions without them being drowned out by others who have plenty of opportunity to post elsewhere. If so inclined a thread could be started about What do Divemasters do that upset you.

 

[beaverdivers]

Kicking & Killing the Coral Reef! The DM lets you know that you " KILLED the REEF " & the diver gives the DM the " Up Yours Signal ".

Now that Really Pisses Me OFF!

 

[MaxBottomtime]

Actually, it can work just fine. "No DM in the water" causes divers to be responsible for their own dives.

I work on a dive boat in the NE for the warmer parts of the spring, summer & fall and people just do their own dives with no DM. I'll give the dive briefing, remind everybody to come back before they're out of air, and wish them a great dive.

Because they're diving with just a buddy, they understand that nobody else is responsible, and choose safe, appropriate dives.

This might mean that they hang out in 12' of water and watch the fish or strap on all the tanks they own for a dive to a hundred-something feet.

Divers become amazingly appropriate, responsible and focused when there's nobody "keeping them safe".

It's the same in Southern California, except on most charters, no buddy is required. My role as DM was to check everyone in as they arrived onboard, give a site briefing and then play lifeguard. Most of the time I spent all day standing at the stern of the boat watching water.

 

[Eric Sedletzky]

It's the same in Southern California, except on most charters, no buddy is required. My role as DM was to check everyone in as they arrived onboard, give a site briefing and then play lifeguard. Most of the time I spent all day standing at the stern of the boat watching water.

I love CA dive boats. Kind of ironic though if you think about it. Here we live in the most nanny state in the union, the water is cold and challenging relative to other locations around the world, it's the most litigous state in the most litigous country in the world, and the dive boats pretty much have the loosest coolest rules anywhere in the world. I can't get over it.

 

[MaxBottomtime]

Shhh. Don't tell anyone.

 

[dumpsterDiver]

How’s this one… An instructor who consistently shows up with the absolutely worst trained AOW students. Make it so we KNOW that at least one student each trip will (more than likely) panic as soon as the water hits their lips.. and then I will have to jump in and haul them back to the boat because they are too busy screaming to swim 12 feet to the stern.

But that was the usual situation; this particular day was a little different. It is a really rough day, we are doing a short narrow reef in a moderate current and relatively poor visibility (25 ft) for a drift dive in 80 feet. Even though we give a detailed briefing that it is essential that we all descend quickly or we will miss the reef; your AOW students remain on the surface floundering around for several minutes. I patiently wait below at 25 feet, providing a visual guide for you and your students to follow.

After maybe 4-6 minutes I ascend and ask if everyone is OK? The instructor says yes.. I say “are you sure you want to dive here?” Which he and I both know means that there is no freaking way we are gonna hit the reef we had planned… And he says let’s dive. I have no problem with this because it is rough, it is a training dive and probably a third of the divers will be so beat up by getting back on the boat that they will not be ready to dive again anyway… So I am cool with: “we dive here”.

So I go down and everyone follows and we actually find a few cool things, no real reef structure and not the dive we had intended, but the students are pretty happy. Back on board, I give them high 5’s for mastering some tough conditions.. and then he starts -

The instructor starts swearing and bitching about the captain and the crew (me) not knowing how to drive a boat, find the reefs or conduct drift diving (all because we missed the intended reef). Not the best thing to do to your students, as they sit out a surface interval and tell them that the dive sucked and they should have no confidence in the professionals they are trusting with their safety (for the next dive).

For some reason, that day really pissed me off. Never said a word or even confronted him about HIS DECSION to dive after 5 minutes of drifting in the wind and waves and current. I thought he was a terrible instructor.

 

[Tigerman]

I love CA dive boats. Kind of ironic though if you think about it. Here we live in the most nanny state in the union, the water is cold and challenging relative to other locations around the world, it's the most litigous state in the most litigous country in the world, and the dive boats pretty much have the loosest coolest rules anywhere in the world. I can't get over it.

Sounds like a good reason to go diving in CA to me
This however is NOT the norm in the dive industry around the world and I suspect cold water locations to be more like that than typical warm holiday locations - because it seems like cold water divers is a bit more dedicated than most "vacation divers"..

 

[Kitty_Kat]

Oh how I love working on California dive boats! No one expects you to put their gear together. You don't have to wrangle a group of uncooperative divers into staying together underwater. Everyone is usually freezing their butt off after two dives so you instantly become their new favorite person when you give them hot soup.... Anyways enough with how awesome California is...

Having worked as a DM in both cold water and tropical "vacation" locations, here's my $0.02 on what pisses me off. This shouldn't be an unreasonable request... I promise I'm pretty easy to get along with! I will even wear a bikini to work when the weather permits!

Don't lie to me. When I'm working, I'm not asking you something just for the hell of it. If I'm asking about your air, experience, comfort, depth, gear, lack thereof, or anything else it's because I'm trying to make a decision about how our dives should proceed. If you lie to me, you aren't making yourself look cooler, you're just causing possible unnecessary complications.

When I was first staring off as a DM, I remember having this young guy aboard who was all excited to be diving with us for the whole day. We found out quickly that he wasn't exactly the best at listening to pre-dive briefings and needed some heavy encouragement to stay with his assigned buddy (a regular on our boat who we knew to be a reliable and tolerant diver), but that wasn't what pissed me off. After his 3rd dive in a row of the day to 90-120 feet, we heard his buddy ask him what his surface interval was at. He said he didn't know, and his buddy told him to check his computer since it should tell him. He then told his buddy he wasn't diving with a computer, which was clearly news to his buddy and to me since he had told us earlier that he didn't need to rent a computer ($5 for the day...really?) since he already had one. His buddy approached me a few minutes later expressing his concerns about this since they had done multiple deep dives and pressed their NDLs fairly closely. Apparently every time his buddy asked him underwater what his NDL was he just said "okay!". So I went up to the diver and asked him how long his NDL would be for their next dive based on his computer. He finally admitted that he had no idea since he didn't have a computer, but that it wasn't a big deal since he was "using tables". I handed him a standard table and asked him what his pressure group was. Turns out he had never used a table before and didn't know how to read one. Needless to say he was done diving for the day. Why this pisses me off: It really isn't my concern if you choose not to abide by safe diving practices on your own, even though this only hurts the industry as a whole, but doing it on my boat becomes a problem when you get bent and I have to involve the coast guard, DAN, my insurance, and the slew of other people asking questions. Really a$%%$#$? What was the point of lying about that?

I'm sure there are other little things, but every time someone lies to me about how much air they have left, the fact that they have never done a drift dive, or whether or not they get sea sick (don't get me started on that one...) I get irked. Come on people! I'm going to respect you much more as a diver if you are cognizant of your limits and experience. Just my $0.02!

 

[kimbalabala]

Be a professional means you're a professional, you don't turn it on or off based on the customer's demeanor or the tip you think you're going to get from one person and not from another. That's the difference and why you defend indefensible behavior.

I'm not a DM, and I'm not sure I'm understanding your point but I want to weigh in. I teach at the college level and I had a student this past semester that I secretly refer to as Eeyore. NOTHING in life is good. EVERYTHING in life is challenging, evil, or unworthy of his effort because it will always turn to sh*t. I spent the semester cajoling and otherwise trying to involve him in class. If I had someone like him on a diveboat for a week it would bring down the mood of the other divers and really get on my nerves. I don't think that means that I am a negative person or not meant to be an instructor - and I don't think that DM's frustration with these type of people reflects on their overall social skills or commitment to what they do. Some people are just drags! I guess all a DM can do is count the days until they leave!

 

[mala]

I love CA dive boats. Kind of ironic though if you think about it. Here we live in the most nanny state in the union, the water is cold and challenging relative to other locations around the world, it's the most litigous state in the most litigous country in the world, and the dive boats pretty much have the loosest coolest rules anywhere in the world. I can't get over it.

its like that in the uk -

exept there are no dm's on the boat.

the skipper just says "we are here" and "ill be gone in about 2 hours"
The hot tea and spam fritters make up for the lack of a dm.