lavachickie
Contributor
How does one balance never pushing one's self versus pushing one's self too far?
This cold water PNW diver was in Maui last week for five days (left midday the 5th day). I dove three of them (2 with my husband). I was a little disappointed we didn't get a 4th dive day in. My point was, hey, we can be out of the water a solid 24 hours before flying, and while we had been pushing our no deco limits to the very last minute, that would be okay!
His point was, hey, we did come on this trip with other people... we need to spend time with them, too. =-)
My husband, my dearest friend and a great dive buddy, adomished me that night that he was concerned I had an addiction. I took great umbrage at his comment. It was one of those discussions that needed to happen, but didn't get started on the right foot (it was late, we were tired, etc.). I responded very emotionally to the word addiction, pointing out that I held a successful job, ran a good household, contributed equally to the things we shared, held up my freelance responsibilities... I felt he was trying to compare me to an out of control meth addict.
Once home, a friend sent me an article from Undercurrent about a death of a diver in the Galapagos ( http://www.undercurrent.org/UCnow/articles/DeathintheGalapagos201005.shtml ). I shared it with hubby who then responded with a very long message that more accurately illustrated his concerns: that in my zeal to get into the water, I'd be more forgiving of the issues that would raise a red flag with my otherwise fairly level headed approach to life and risk. Just like people who are really hot to see the big boys would go into extreme adverse conditions that are above their experience/training level. With the added illustration that you can't trust what others tell you; you are the ultimate arbiter of your skills and how they relate to the challenges at hand and the resulting risk involved.
He had some good points, and I can't argue them. I don't feel I'm too out there, but in looking back at really just two little issues which have occured, they were both great learning experiences. They didn't appear to be significantly dangerous at the time, but the real problem as a new diver is you don't know what you don't know. They could have been, maybe.
(1) I HAVE midjudged the appropriateness of a buddy, and this was after having seen her not understand something she SHOULD have. She was not appropriate to support me, and at my current level as a diver I was not qualified to be responsible for her (IMO). I figured, "Hey, if everyone else will dive with her..." Yeah, I know that's not the way to view things now. (2) I HAVE looked at potentially adverse conditions and made the decision to attempt them, however, called the dive when it became clear they were indeed adverse. To me that was a success... I tried, made a calculated decision when new information was presented, and... acted accordingly.
I understand being cautious. Being thorough to squash small problems before they occur (which could result in big problems, or small problems compounding one another). My end goal, frankly, is to be self sufficient -- not a desire to avoid assistance from others, but doing all I can to insure I will not need assistance from others, so that I can assist both myself AND them should something occur where I DO need assistance.
So how does one balance never pushing one's self versus pushing one's self too far? I imagine the answer lies in the middle path, moderation, as it always does; but also surrounding yourself with those who are greatly experienced and knowledgable, and who are generous with sharing that.
Other suggestions? (And don't think I haven't thought of a new rule: vacation only with other divers.
)
This cold water PNW diver was in Maui last week for five days (left midday the 5th day). I dove three of them (2 with my husband). I was a little disappointed we didn't get a 4th dive day in. My point was, hey, we can be out of the water a solid 24 hours before flying, and while we had been pushing our no deco limits to the very last minute, that would be okay!
His point was, hey, we did come on this trip with other people... we need to spend time with them, too. =-)
My husband, my dearest friend and a great dive buddy, adomished me that night that he was concerned I had an addiction. I took great umbrage at his comment. It was one of those discussions that needed to happen, but didn't get started on the right foot (it was late, we were tired, etc.). I responded very emotionally to the word addiction, pointing out that I held a successful job, ran a good household, contributed equally to the things we shared, held up my freelance responsibilities... I felt he was trying to compare me to an out of control meth addict.
Once home, a friend sent me an article from Undercurrent about a death of a diver in the Galapagos ( http://www.undercurrent.org/UCnow/articles/DeathintheGalapagos201005.shtml ). I shared it with hubby who then responded with a very long message that more accurately illustrated his concerns: that in my zeal to get into the water, I'd be more forgiving of the issues that would raise a red flag with my otherwise fairly level headed approach to life and risk. Just like people who are really hot to see the big boys would go into extreme adverse conditions that are above their experience/training level. With the added illustration that you can't trust what others tell you; you are the ultimate arbiter of your skills and how they relate to the challenges at hand and the resulting risk involved.
He had some good points, and I can't argue them. I don't feel I'm too out there, but in looking back at really just two little issues which have occured, they were both great learning experiences. They didn't appear to be significantly dangerous at the time, but the real problem as a new diver is you don't know what you don't know. They could have been, maybe.
(1) I HAVE midjudged the appropriateness of a buddy, and this was after having seen her not understand something she SHOULD have. She was not appropriate to support me, and at my current level as a diver I was not qualified to be responsible for her (IMO). I figured, "Hey, if everyone else will dive with her..." Yeah, I know that's not the way to view things now. (2) I HAVE looked at potentially adverse conditions and made the decision to attempt them, however, called the dive when it became clear they were indeed adverse. To me that was a success... I tried, made a calculated decision when new information was presented, and... acted accordingly.
I understand being cautious. Being thorough to squash small problems before they occur (which could result in big problems, or small problems compounding one another). My end goal, frankly, is to be self sufficient -- not a desire to avoid assistance from others, but doing all I can to insure I will not need assistance from others, so that I can assist both myself AND them should something occur where I DO need assistance.
So how does one balance never pushing one's self versus pushing one's self too far? I imagine the answer lies in the middle path, moderation, as it always does; but also surrounding yourself with those who are greatly experienced and knowledgable, and who are generous with sharing that.
Other suggestions? (And don't think I haven't thought of a new rule: vacation only with other divers.
)
