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pidgiepoo
Contributor
Circle Of Flies
A cowboy from Texas attends a social function where Barack Obama is trying to gather more support for his Health Plan.
Once he discovers the cowboy is from President Bushs home area, he starts to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words. As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.
The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?"
Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called,
but I've never heard of circle flies."
"Well Sir," the cowboy replies,"circle flies hang around ranches.They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
"Oh," Obama replies as he goes back to rambling. But, a moment later he stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's ass?"
"No, Sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their President a horse's ass."
"That's a good thing," Obama responds and begins rambling on once more.
After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says,
"Hard to fool them flies, though."
A cowboy from Texas attends a social function where Barack Obama is trying to gather more support for his Health Plan.
Once he discovers the cowboy is from President Bushs home area, he starts to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words. As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.
The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?"
Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called,
but I've never heard of circle flies."
"Well Sir," the cowboy replies,"circle flies hang around ranches.They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
"Oh," Obama replies as he goes back to rambling. But, a moment later he stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's ass?"
"No, Sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their President a horse's ass."
"That's a good thing," Obama responds and begins rambling on once more.
After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says,
"Hard to fool them flies, though."
Cerebral_Origami
Registered
Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.'
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked;"What are you sellin' here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."
Without skipping a beat, the old time said, "You're doing well. Only two left."
Seniors - don't mess with them!
One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.'
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked;"What are you sellin' here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."
Without skipping a beat, the old time said, "You're doing well. Only two left."
Seniors - don't mess with them!
mlkco
Contributor
Paddys wife goes to the doctor!
complaining that after ten years of marriage she had never had an orgasm!
the doctor advised her to relax and use a FAN to keep her cool during sex.
paddy refused to pay money for a fan and asked his mate if he wouldn't mind waving a towel while they made love, but still she didn't have an orgasm.
next day she asked paddy if they could swap over. and so paddys mate made love to her and after 20 minutes of the best mind blowing sex she'd ever had, she orgasmed!
paddy looked at his mate and said "AND THAT, MY OLD SON IS HOW TO FLAP A FOOOKING TOWEL"
__________________
complaining that after ten years of marriage she had never had an orgasm!
the doctor advised her to relax and use a FAN to keep her cool during sex.
paddy refused to pay money for a fan and asked his mate if he wouldn't mind waving a towel while they made love, but still she didn't have an orgasm.
next day she asked paddy if they could swap over. and so paddys mate made love to her and after 20 minutes of the best mind blowing sex she'd ever had, she orgasmed!
paddy looked at his mate and said "AND THAT, MY OLD SON IS HOW TO FLAP A FOOOKING TOWEL"
__________________
pidgiepoo
Contributor
I just had a call from a charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.
I told them to **** off!!
Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!
I told them to **** off!!
Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!
Flat Tire Story
A blonde had a flat tire on the interstate. So she eased the car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk...
She took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of her car facing oncoming traffic. They look so life like you wouldn't believe it! They are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to the approaching drivers.
To her surprise, cars started slowing down looking at the lifelike men which made it safer for her to work at the side of the road. And of course, traffic started backing up. Everybody was tooting their horns and waving like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind her.
He got out of his car and started walking towards her. She could tell he was not a happy camper! "What's going on here?", he demanded.
"My car has a flat tire," she said calmly.
"Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"
She couldn't believe that he didn't know. So she told him, "Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!"
A blonde had a flat tire on the interstate. So she eased the car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk...
She took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of her car facing oncoming traffic. They look so life like you wouldn't believe it! They are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to the approaching drivers.
To her surprise, cars started slowing down looking at the lifelike men which made it safer for her to work at the side of the road. And of course, traffic started backing up. Everybody was tooting their horns and waving like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind her.
He got out of his car and started walking towards her. She could tell he was not a happy camper! "What's going on here?", he demanded.
"My car has a flat tire," she said calmly.
"Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"
She couldn't believe that he didn't know. So she told him, "Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!"
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