okay...a great PM.
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I'm curious about what kind of reg you have- does it have a 2nd stage adjustment? environmental seal? Did you throw an IP guage on it? (The IP gauge is my favorite!)
I used to use a Seacure, but got rid of it when I went to the long hose since it hurt my buddies feelings. For the most part, I don't miss it, but when the water is cold and my jaw is starting to ache from the tension, I think about it sitting in the bottom of my toolbox.
As for the psychology of watching your life flash before your eyes, every once in a while, I have an "accident" and then I start to second guess my diving. Most of the time, it is something stupid, like forgetting a spool, losing track of my gas, or gearing up before zipping up my drysuit. These are simple mistakes that are easily fixed, but I get hard on myself for making them. I'm afraid that if I can make the stupid mistakes, then what is to stop me from making the big ones? These are no big deal- I think about them for a day, decide to quit diving, then laugh at how silly I am, and then get wet again.
The incidents that really scare me are the random ones that I didn't cause. One incident, a buddy turned my air off in the pool; another time, a deco reg was free flowing at 70'; and the most recent one was a deco reg with a loose fitting that was bubbling vigorously when I pressurized it at 20' (O2). The common element in all of these is that I just reacted to the problem- it was quick, efficient, and effective. What scares me is that it wasn't the STAB Stop, Think, Act, Breathe stuff that they teach. After the "incidents" I couldn't tell the difference between panic and effective problem solving. I instinctively knew what I had to do and just did it. There was no conscious thought, just a reaction. Afterwards, I would second guess myself- what if my instinct was wrong? I didn't think about what I was doing or the consequence, I just reacted. How is that different from panic? In the end, I just tell myself that my training and experience guided me, although that is more an excuse to keep on diving that an real rational justification. I don't see many people talk about stuff like this. Maybe it happens all the time and that is part of the psychology, but people are just to chicken to say "Holy Cra p!!! I panicked, but I survived!"
Permission to post.
A great communicator/ writer!