"...we'll laugh at you and you'll look like a dork." - the Split

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Holding hands and walking in the wash of the surf at Laguna beach with some of the most beautiful young women in the world, driving my custom 66 VW baga bug to Silverado canyon to get a buz with some good friends, riding my 71 shovelhead Harley to Cooks Corner to play pool and party. Hanging at Balboa, cruising my ride through Ortega highway and then hang gliding over Lake Elsinore when it was still a one horse town, so long ago, the air was still clean. Orange County still had a drag strip and orange groves. I left So-Cal @ 20 years ago when I saw the bulldozers plowing under the horse ranches and the concrete moved in, I then moved to Europe and traveled some, have not returned since, can not go back to what is no more and you will laugh at me and call me a dork cause you will not understand.
Mahalo
 
Mauifish, you mean to tell me there used to be dirt in orange county? and at one point there was less than meth labs in lake elsinore?
 
Codyjp:
Mauifish, you mean to tell me there used to be dirt in orange county? and at one point there was less than meth labs in lake elsinore?

It was paradise so many years ago, yes my friend, if you were not there in that time i speak of you missed out!
 
Hey there mister over weighted diver. Yeah, I know your X-UDT/SPY dive instructor wanted you planted on the bottom to execute some dandy scuba skills, but them days are over. How about taking 30 pounds off and dumping the 60 lb lift wing. Come on, Mr. "Lawn Dart!" Stop dragging your ar$e on the bottom, swimming about like an albatross, and blowing through your tank with a SAC rate directly proportional to the sack of lead you are... or we'll laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.
 
ScubaMilo:
Hey Mr DIR, If your supposed to be DIR compliant and your still diving with a hoseless computer and transmitter guess what, were all going to laugh and you'll look like a dork.

Milo

hoo rah :popcorn:

I second that, YOU ARE A DORK!

T
 
Holy cow, we are loaded with very funny people.

One more on my way out the door:


I'm talking right now to you, Mr Very Old C-Card Picture man - you're the dude the Hot DM has to look at three times to be sure that the middle aged, craggy, high-odometer, doughy guy who signed the manifest and is slouching in front of her didn't just steal the card of some young, hip, good looking, tanned, long haired guy with the same name. Continuing to carry a card with an old and flattering picture from a time when pulled chicks and not repelled them is both sad and a sign your mid-age crisis is in full flower. What's next, honcho? A Red Sports Car? Track suit? Blow Dried Chest Hair? Listen Dorian Gray, the pic on your C-Card may be lying, but your Drivers License doesn't. This is a CEE-CARD you clown, not your MySpace account. You don't need to lie and broadcast old pictures and try to foist them off as "recent." Here it is: If you're rolling with and continue to flash the card that has a younger and better looking you on it, even though you're 15 years older, 4 agencies removed, three cert levels higher and have a dive log of other cards to choose from - you're a loser. If we see that blast from the past one more time, we're all gonna laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.


---
Ken
 
Golly guppers ...all I ever really wanted to do was get away from the world for an hour or so trying to escape underwater ...no cell phone, no wife up my a... no kids pounding away at my patience like a yard engineer with a 2 stroke leaf blower on a saturday morning, no spam-mail from idiots I graduated with before the last ice age, no relentless barrage of questions from my employees about their 401k choices, no obsucure arguments over contract discrepencies with government employees who where passed over by a more qualified rent-a-drunk... I believed the "scuba guru" that it was a very cool sport even though he was a little skewed upstairs ...never quite completing a sentence or a thought process swatting at imaginary insects while discussing sac rates ...I wanted to believe the DM when she stroked my ego about how it was a "lifestyle".... I wanted to just get away from my deepest phobias and challange myself to be better emotionally and spiritually. After all this my most deepest fear from jr high school is set in fresh concrete ....I'm a frecken DORK ...I just wanted to thank each and everyone of you for the painful lesson ...
so in closing if anyone is interested I have a self storage rental unit type of thing full of dorky things I'd like to unload!!!
 
This thread's giving me all sorts of ideas for my upcoming trip to SoCal ... :D

... Bob (Grateful Diver)
 
Hey you Mr. Christmas Tree Diver, that’s right I ‘m talking to you with all of your strap on gadgets; good luck finding anything in a time of need. You can’t even seem to get your own fins on, cause when you bend over all you can see is the crap dangling in front of you. That tiny bottle of Spare Air that you think is going to get you to the surface is going to run out with one inhale, due to your inability to streamline thus dragging you down in the water. Don’t you remember from Open Water training “streamlined and horizontal to reduce drag!” That big dagger of a knife that you wear on your leg, can’t even be reached, and guess what I just picked it up off of the sea floor cause you didn’t have your strap on strapped in. Oh, and by the way, if you need to wear a homing device to bring you back to the boat, go back and take navigation. That reel and line cutter that you think you are going to use to penetrate that wreck is only going to get you tied up in Charlotte’s Web; at least you will save me the time of looking for a cutter cause you are wearing three…that’s right lets not forget the BCD knife you think is necessary to poke everything with. At least that UW MP3 player that you spent a small chunk of change on will come in handy when you are cocooned in your own line. Diving is not a place to take the whole kitchen sink, leave it at home! If you roll like this again, were going to laugh at you cause you look like a dork!
 

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