What Not To Say On A Dive Boat

[Cacia]

Captain Joe, is this a two way trip?

let's see that fuel gauge...oh? it's broken? well lets rock the boat and take a peep down there.

 

[photohikedive]

while you guys are down there, could you look for the diver we lost last week?

 

[Phenol]

Captain: "All right, maties, tonight we're boarding that cruise ship! Who's with me?"

 

[evac93rd]

This is a compilation of some of your VERY funny posts with a few original ones thrown in for good measure

things you should never say on a dive boat:

This plug was sticking in a hole in the back of the boat. I pulled it out to let water into the livewell.
I just got off your radio; those Coast Guard clowns have absolutely no sense of humor.
500 lbs remaining when I get back on? That's wasted air. I always dive until I run out.
So I figure with 100% O2 I won’t have to worry about a deco hit or getting narked.
Ahh…that feels better, I can’t ever figure out how to flush a marine toilet anyway
Can someone lend me a computer; mine keeps flashing 'DECO VIOLATION'?
Nah…that stuff about yearly regulator service is just another dive shop rip-off.
Oh I never bother with the dive briefing, all dives are about the same anyway.
Who has the biggest tank? I'm an airhog and sometimes need to share air.
Hey buddy I turned your tank on by mistake and drained the air out of it.
Wow, your daughter/wife/etc. sure has some nice (pick a body part).
You don’t really believe all that crap about safety stops do you?
I can’t believe you were scared to follow me inside that wreck.
Tip-jar my ass!! I paid plenty for this little boat ride already.
Just how serious are they about this marine preserve stuff?
Can I use my knife for defense from an OOA diver?
Which side of the boat can I rig my fishing pole?
So I signaled OOA, then I threw-up in HIS octo.
Hey Gilligan! How ‘bout a hand with this gear.
Can I keep this coral your anchor broke off?
Why are all those cameras in the dunk tank?
Buddy? Oh, did I go down with a buddy?
Was that your computer under my tank?
What do I do with this bucket of vomit?
Are these tanks for salt or fresh water?
Anybody want a hit off this joint?
I forgot my reg can I use yours?
Does anyone else smell smoke?
How do you prime a pee valve?
Where do the solo divers go in?
Hold my beer while I gear up.
I think I clogged up the head.

 

[Atomic_Diver]

Can I borrow Your SpareAir?

 

[sightpress]

oh, i'm sorry... was that YOUR fruit salad i just ate?

lol thats gross!