What to do?

[DiveMaven]

I have a friend who has been diving 3 months longer than I (just over 2 years) and often acts as if she's my dive mentor (she's far from it). We were talking about where she might go this summer, and after suggesting Cozumel she remarked that she and her boyfriend get "tired of reefs after 2-3 days" and need more excitement. I asked what made her get tired of diving reefs and she said its because all the reefs look the same and it gets boring after a couple of days.

To put it bluntly, I was stunned! We were in Belize in December on the Nekton Pilot and absolutely loved the reefs and walls to look for all the little eco-systems and juvenile fish (would love to go back). We found some pretty amazing stuff, and actually had a couple of dives that barely got farther than the reef under the boat since there was so much macro to see. We also just got back from Maui where 9/10 dives were reefs, and I remember feeling frustrated on one dive that everyone was going too fast and I was missing stuff!!

Because she was having one of her "high horse" moments, I didn't say anything and simply ended the conversation quickly. I'm debating about whether or not to bother saying anything when this topic comes up again (because it will), and would love to hear what other's would do.....respond, or leave it alone?

 

[WellBelowH2O]

If she's bored with reefs in 2-3 days, she's not looking at them closely enough or diving the same reefs over and over. I'd say something to her about it--perhaps it's time to find another group to travel with, or dive in a location that offers both reefs as well as wrecks, if that's what she's into. Although I haven't dove there yet (going in August) I hear that Bermuda has a good combination of wrecks/reefs.

As far as knocking her off her high horse, why don't you consider taking another course to bring your training level up above hers--like a rescue class. This way you can say to her "you should really take a rescue class like I did--it really helps improve your skills beyond just the AOW" or something like that. Diving shouldn't be about being competitive, but if it stops her from acting like your mentor, then do it... besides, it will make you a better diver

 

[Walter]

Why bother? She asked you for suggestions, you offered some, she rejected your idea, let her look elsewhere for more suggestions. If you want to be the hero, suggest Grenada - reefs, wrecks and sharks.

 

[Halthron]

Some of my best dives have been in shallow water, staying in roughly the same area for a long time. Last weekend was a perfect example. At one point, I'm in 15 feet of water for an hour and periods of several minutes at a time doing nothing in particular. So, I watch the local fauna.

I'd say that someone who realizes that diving doesn't have to equal movement is well along on the diving satisfaction meter. I'd second the idea of taking another class and think that either rescue or Nitrox are good candidates depending on your current and planned activities.

 

[RikRaeder]

Everyone has their own interests. Perhaps you can suggest a challenge comensurate with hers. Say a 300' penetration of an unstable wreck, or perhaps a deep cave drift dive in heavy current. Just some thoughts...

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

I would listen to her in a detached way and say, "Oh, is that so?" and then go right ahead and keep doing what YOU want and like to do. The only reason she's behaving the way that she is, is because deep down, she may feel that you are a better diver than she is, or else she's afraid that your skills will surpass hers. (It seems silly, but some people are like that.)

 

[*Floater*]

If your friend wants to do wreck, cave or technical diving but you are not into that, then you need a new dive friend. Otherwise you can just spend 2-3 days diving the reefs in coz, for example, and then hit the cenote caverns/caves or maybe take some tech courses. I don't get bored of reefs in 2-3 days per se, but some variation is always welcome and exciting.

 

[Cacia]

Send her a link for heli-diving and everytime she says she is bored you can say, "well why don't you go heli-diving?, I really think you would LOVE it!"

 

[ItsBruce]

I think Fish_Whisperer is on the right track. Its like trying to teach a pig to sing. It frustrates you and annoys the pig. "That's nice" is a perfectly acceptable, pleasant, non-confrontational, non-judgmental answer. And, ask yourself this: "Is there any amount of argument, logic orr analysis that would change her view?"

 

[fairybasslet]

My son was like this when he was 13. We were diving in the keys and he writes on his slate: "We've seen everything. Let's go back." LOL. When we were in Roatan last year, (he was 15 then) I had to remind him that the purpose of diving wasn't to see who could make it back to the boat the quickest. But he's a teen so he has an excuse.