When to help?

[g1138]

It's better to train your kid as an equal not as an instructor. I hated my dad's guts as a tennis instructor.

From the view of the instructor, certain advice you may give to your daughter might actually hinder her learning process as it conflicts with what the instructor might say.

I'd wait until she's certified and then pass your knowledge onto her as your own personal advice and opinions.

Also looking ahead, you may want to just sit back and observe her for a few dives when she's finally certified.
Don't just nail her out of the starting gates with your 2 cents.
That is unless it has to do with her safety.

 

[Prostardiver]

I tell divers that I want the son/daughter/girlfriend/wife/husband/other to be a strong diver in their own right. They need that independent instruction so that, one day, they will look over at you and tell you that you have a hose routed oddly and then fix it.

I only ever had one boyfriend step in and help his girlfriend set up her rig. I benched the boyfriend and had her set up my rig, tear it down and do it again.

It will be ok.

 

[Downing]

What's the point of requiring a parent to sit through the classes?

Disclaimer: not looking to pick a fight, start an argument, etc. Just curious.

 

[Jim Lapenta]

Perfectly reasonable question and one I would expect a parent to ask. First of all when I talk about agency and instructor standards for classes this is what I am referring to. This is one of mine. I require parents to be present for several reasons. First of all is I am not a baby sitter. I have seen parents drop off kids, say they have an errand to run, and come back an hour late. Not fair to the instructor and not fair to the kids.

Second. It is no secret that parents are not nearly involved in their kids lives as they should be. Oh in many cases they control them with stupid stuff like playdates, structured athletics instead of just simple sandlot pick up games that we used to enjoy and the like. They take them to dance and ballet and sit there and push and prod but don't let them be kids. Or they live their own lives through the kids. I want them to just sit there and watch their son or daughter be a kid.

Next is the fact that kids lie. Simple as that. Sometimes they don't mean to or they just don't think but how often do parents ask what homework do you have and the answer is "not much" or " I did it in study hall" and a few days later see a note from the school? This way the parents know exactly what I require of their kids, when, and why. No grey area there.

Next is a liability issue. From many angles. I have state clearances the same as any teacher that say I'm not a perv. But how many have been falsely accused of something when a kid got mad at them (I know that comes from many having been rightly accused and they should be). No danger of that either with mom or dad sitting right there. Peace of mind for me and them. Hate to have to think of that but we live in a society where it is a reality.

Next is the liablilty issue from a physical sense. All it takes is a kid to fall at the pool and twist an ankle or need stitches. Rather than get POA's from every parent that I can authorize a doc to treat them let the parent do that. It is their job.

Finally- Scuba is a family activity. Why shouldn't the parents be involved. If a parent is so wrapped up in their own lives that they can't take a couple hours twice a week to spend real quality time with their kid in an activity that has the potential to form an even stronger bond, what does that say about that family? There is so much pushing and shoving for attention in many families due to outside influences with employers not caring about the family health of their employees, insisting that the dad or mom put a stupid company first, all these so called "organized activities" and the like that why would you not want to be in a situation where it's just you and your kids? No outside pressure, no cell phone with the a hole boss calling, no batting coach yelling at your 12 yr old(and that is really retarded, I hear of 8 and 10 yr olds with them- moronic), just you and your son or daughter enjoying the feeling of diving.

I want parents there because dammit, they should be!

 

[tddfleming]

I think you are ahead of the game, being you were certified before her. We got certifed together, which created something different. What I found to work for us was that mine (12 yr old) had to do all her own book work. All quizzes and reviews, but we did them together after she finished them. We went from quiz to quiz and review to review through the whole book. As I did mine I marked the correct page number beside each question, so if she had any questions and could not find the answer, I could quickly look it up and we could review it together. We spent a couple Sundays doing this. After she finished each quiz or review we would go over each question together. This did allow me to review with her. Any questions we had to would note that and make sure we asked the inst.
As far as jumping in and doing anything for her, I am not that parent. I let mine make mistakes, I don't jump in to fix things. During class, I never interferred with her skills, if she had issues, it was up to her and the inst to fix it. When we are diving, she does help me fix things that I need help with. And I can do the same for her.

What I saw in class, made me glad I did the book review this way. There were several guys in our class that never once did a single review or quiz.

 

[mselenaous]

Diving with kids is a riot!
As for training kids, you have hired a professional, give him/her "space" to do their job and ensure that your new buddy becomes a responsible competent diver. Your life might one day depend on it. Follow the instructors rules and let your daughter share her learning experiences with you. Once she is certified, then mentor her progress giving her plenty of underwater time to fine-tune her skills at her own pace. We often recommend that new divers find a mentor (someone with more experience) to take them diving. That's your job.

Dive safe and have a blast! Take pics and let us know how it goes.

 

[MrGRD]

The instructors of the class are also friends. I will, in the end go to them and make sure I am on their page when it comes to where I should stand. I have the most trust in them. They know they can talk to me as well with their recomendations. All the input is great - I like the guy that almost gave his daughter a "Thumbs up" at 20' when she got her patch, I can understand this feeling.

Thanks everyone for the help.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

Whenever I train someone who has a loved one in the class I have a strict rule ... in this class, you're just two divers. If you try to be too helpful, you'll hold each other back ... or one of you will become dominant while the other becomes dependent. You really don't want that.

It's natural to want to help. But it's also important to remember that diving is all about personal responsibility, and that concept starts the first day of OW class. Be supportive, but keep in mind that "helpful" often has the unintended consequence of developing a dependent diver ... and you won't want your kid to become dependent on others underwater.

It's normal for parents and spouses who are already divers to want to pass on their knowledge to their loved ones who are just starting out. My advice ... be Socratic about it. The best way to help is to guide her by asking questions that require her to think about not just what to do, but why to do it. The best help you can provide is the context of your experience ... but don't allow yourself to do her thinking for her. She needs this time to develop that skill on her own.

Comfort in diving comes with confidence, and confidence comes with competence. She'll develop competence much more effectively if she's encouraged to be self-sufficient. Be supportive, but do it by being a good buddy and a good example. Give her the opportunities to do as much for herself as possible, and in short order you'll have helped develop a diver you can be proud to buddy up with.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Johnny Mojo]

What's the point of requiring a parent to sit through the classes?

Disclaimer: not looking to pick a fight, start an argument, etc. Just curious.

Hey Downing. I'm not sure if the question was directed at me or Jim since we both made reference to it, but in my case it was simply LDS policy. Not sure if it reaches all the way to agency (SSI) requirement though.

During the enrollment process, I had inquired if I could observe during pool sessions and was told that they require me to be present for all instruction since she was a minor child. It was fine with me and I got to observe her learn and interact with others. Her Buddy during class and dives was a doctor and very intelligent but in class where they were both learning a new skill, they were equals. It was very rewarding to see how she handled that situation.

If I hadn't been there, I wouldn't have been able to see that.

J.

 

[Downing]

The question was directed at anyone who cared to answer, so thanks to all who did.

Both my kids are grown now, so the question was just out of curiousity. One's a diver who certified in college. The other has a mild form of epilepsy so she'll likely never get medical clearance, but she's not that interested anyway or otherwise we would pursue it further.

When I was doing my AOW cert dives I saw a father behave in what I thought was an interferring manner with his teenage son and an instructor in an OW class. I guess that's what got me thinking about it and how an instructor would want to deal with that. I remember thinking had I been the instructor I probably would have directed the parent back to his car and told him to sit there until we were through.

I can see having a parent(s) present at the pool or onshore, but frankly I'm a little surprised that the instructor would want one in the classroom. Seems like the parent could be a bit of a distraction or unwanted pressure for the student even if the parent just sat there quietly.

Anyway, to the OP, congrats and sorry if I highjacked your thread. I was/still am very proud of my son for getting certified, and we have a blast diving together. I'm sure you'll have a blast with your daughter, too.