I had an experience of a wannabe instructor a couple of years ago. At the time I had recently completed the PADI Rescue Diver course and had about 40 - 45 dives under my belt. I was diving with a lad who was training as a stuntman; he was a member of my club and I'd dived with him a couple of times before. In order to get work in the industry, you have to get to a certain standard in a number of disciplines. You have a choice what you do but you have to select them from certain groups, for example, you must have a fighting skill. One of the options is sub-aqua and PADI DM is deemed to satisfy the requirements. He was keen to get signed off as a DM but has no intention of being an active working DM. We were diving at the inland quarry where the dive school does most of its training. It is an organised site with shop, air fills, food etc.
After a relaxed, pleasant day's diving, he mentioned he was going back the next day with another trainee DM. I decided the next day that I'd join them so I sent a text saying I'd see them in the car park. I had never met the other lad before and when we met, he began to rub me up the wrong way. I didn't let him bother me though, but he came across as really patronising. He had about 10 more dives logged than I had, and he had nearly finished the DM course. He asked to see my log book before he dived with me and when he saw I was a mere rescue diver with fewer dives than him, he began talking to me like I was an idiot.
I'm not opposed to somebody wanting to see my log book, in fact it is a good thing to do when you dive with somebody for the first time. When He'd finished scrutinising my papers, I asked him the same question. He looked a bit surprised that this lowly rescue diver should do this but when he composed himself, he handed it over. When I looked at it, I noticed his dives were all in the same site, with the exception of his OW qualifying dives which were all somewhere sunny (I forget where exactly). My dives were in a large variety of conditions, many quite challenging.
As we were chatting, I found out he had a very successful business. He owned a number of properties and was in the position where he could very easily give up work and live off the rent. He was only in his mid-thirties too. He'd tried diving for the first time a year earlier and had been sold the dream of living the life of a diving instructor in some idyllic tropical paradise. He'd decided he'd had enough of work and he was going to sell up and move abroad.
Straight away I could tell he was really determined to become a diving instructor, despite being very new to the hobby. He told me he wanted to practice guiding and asked if I minded a bit of a role play scenario. I agreed and he took me up to the side of the cafe where you can see the whole quarry, armed with a map. He began to describe the dive. He wanted to swim to one of the training platforms at 2 metres, then the 6 metre platform and back. In pointed out that a) I hadn't got up at 6:30 at a weekend, driven up the M6 and paid £14 plus fuel to dive on wooden platforms, and b) the dive he suggested was going to last the whole of 15 minutes.
He then broke the news he wanted to do two dives per cylinder (we were all on single 232 bar 12 litre cylinders). His plan was to get in, drop down and surface when we'd used half our gas. He then wanted to float on the surface for a while, slowly surface swim to the other side and drop down a shot line for a second dive.
I was dead against this. I tried pointing out that having the 60 dives needed to be signed off as DM should mean you have set up your kit 60 times and done 60 lots of buddy checks, but I was outnumbered and had to go with this.
We walked back to the cars and began to kit up. The stuntman and I were ready first and did a quick buddy check. I looked over to the wannabe instructor and helped him into his BCD. He then announced, "
Right! Buddy checks!". We went through the usual Bangkok Women Really Are Fellas routine but instead of watching each other as we did the checks, he was pulling on my kit and generally manhandling me.
Underwater he was nuisance. He was constantly asking me to tell him how much gas I had (it seemed to be every minute) but wasn't responding when I signalled him. We'd agreed to surface on 130 bar and I was on 140 bar. I signalled the other two. The stuntman was on around the same as me but the wannabe instructor seemed to signal 190. I was a bit surprised how little gas he'd used so I signalled again. He gave the signal '90'. He then gave a thumb up signal. I wanted to ascend with a visual reference as the visibility was quite poor. We had only just passed a Cessna plane that was sunk in the quarry and I wanted to turn around and ascend up the shot line that is tied to it. He had other ideas and just went for the surface.
I had to do my safety stop hovering in mid-water, using my computer as my only depth reference. I could see their outlines on the surface as I completed my stop. I was seriously annoyed now. This useless stroke, who had spent all morning patronising had broken the golden rule of computer diving: always dive to the most conservative computer. Not only that, but I (playing the part of somebody turning up at a resort for a guided dive) was abandoned by the guide.
I had decided in this three minutes that I am either leading the next dive or packing up and going home. On the surface, I asked what had happened. I had not seen him experience a freeflow or any other equipment failure and he confirmed this when asked. I asked what his SAC was normally like and he replied 'good'. We swapped cylinders over and went into the cafe for a bacon butty and a chat. I pointed out that at no point were we in an out of air situation and at 80 bar, he had plenty to get to the surface. His tank contents were less than ours but he still had 30 bar more than his reserve. I reassured him that anybody can call the dive at any time, for any reason. I then said if we do not have a visual reference, we should either follow the slope up or up a shot line if in site of one. If neither of these options are available, I launch a DSMB.
On the next dive, I kept a beady eye on him and he was responsive to my signals this time. He got to about 70 bar while we had plenty of air and signalled he wanted to go up. He responded positively to my 'okay?' signal and I unclipped my DSMB. I felt it best we kneel on the bottom as I wasn't confident he would maintain a hover and stay in my sight. I inflated the DSMB and let it go. I then looked over to them to give the up signal and unly the stuntman was there. I gave the 'where's your buddy?' signal and he pointed up. We did a normal ascent as I reeled in the line and completed a safety stop. I could see his silhouette on the surface again.
The next night, I was in the pub for our usual club night. I was talking to some of the club members I know well and quite a few had previous interesting experiences. They all confirmed his SAC was horrendous and one told me he emptied a 12 litre 232 bar cylinder in a pool session. Another said he was DMing when the wannabe instructor was doing his rescue diver course. The DM was playing the part of the panicked diver on the surface. When he approached him, he knocked the reg out of his mouth, swam behind him, wrapped his knees around his tank, pressed the dump button on his LPI hose and placed him face down in the water.
I have seen him once or twice in the pub since but I've never dived with him since. I heard a while back that he went to do the IDC course overseas and they wouldn't take him as they didn't feel he was competent enough.
Last year I was on an overseas club trip and I was talking to a couple of the instructors from the club when we were out for a beer. They were having a right rant about somebody they had as a trainee DM. Apparently he had done everything he needed to be signed off but they still felt his skills needed to be a bit more polished. They suggested he do some extra practise with them (at no extra cost) and explained he needed a bit more work before being ready to go out and work as a DM. He then threw his toys out of the pram and started demanding they sign him off, quoting PADI standards and threatening legal action. They signed him off but told him they would not use him as a DM and would not accept him on the IDC. I told them I knew who they were talking about but they just smiled, with one saying "
I can neither confirm or deny it was the gentleman you refer to."
There is another lad at the club who was DMing when I was an Open Water student. He has always been enthusiastic about becoming an instructor and has worked really hard at it. He recently passed the instructor exams and now teaches for the school. I would recommend him as an instructor to anybody. He mentioned in the pub one night he had been in touch with the wannabe instructor. He is working in Thailand and is now an MSDT. The place he works at is one of these 'zero to hero cert factories'. He explained how it works (I may have some details slightly wrong but it is roughly like this):
- Diver goes to them at any level, including complete novice
- He does every course, one after another
- Once at trainee DM stage, he starts an internship
- In dive number 60, he is signed off as a DM
- He then begins the IDC and is signed off on dive number 100
- He then joins in 'group training'. This could include as many as 20 novice divers on an OW course. The new OWSI will be supervising, along with a number of more experienced instructors
- Once the course is complete, the new OWSI is gifted all the certs by the other instructors so he can get to MSDT as quickly as possible
- He will then either stay with the cert factory, or go off and teach anywhere in the world as an inexperienced stroke, but one who holds an MSDT card