You'll die if...

[LowVizWiz]

i personally think you should add "you will die if you DONT pee in your wetsuit"

Specially if your wetsuit isn't all black!

 

[RiverRat]

You'll die if you get one of those "i3" Elevator Button BCD whatchamacallit thingys........:coffin:

 

[RS]

You will wish you were dead if you ever witness the "warhammer" maneuver.

 

[WrongJohn]

Matt S. told me about this thread and it was enough to force me to register. I am new, this is my first post, and I probably won't post often. Because I tend to be like that.

You will die if you don't use fin spring straps.

You will die if your wetsuit is too loose or tight.

you will die if you dive independent doubles.

you will die if you dive non-isolatable doubles.

you will die if you dive doubles without specific training.

you will die if you dive with a military diver.

you will die if you dive with combat boots on.

you will die if you surf entry without backing in.

you will die if you surf entry without your fins on.

You will die at ANY TIME your fins are attached to you but not on your feet. Boy I have been told that one OVER AND OVER.

You will die if you can't doff and don your bcd/tank under water without your mask or air, in heavy surf zone surge.

you will die if you dive a surfers beach during the good surf and crowd their awesome waves.

you will die if you dive san onofre during a offshore flow.
(some say you will die anyway because of the nuke station, but we know better.)

you will die if you use garden gloves over your scuba gloves.

You will die if you hang tools from your weight belt rather than your BCD.

You will die if you hang tools rather than bag them.

You will die if you use a J valve. (well there might be some truth to that one, I used to dive one)

You will certainly die if you use mixed valves on doubles.

You will die if you fit your own hoses.

You will die if you don't replace your hoses yearly.

You will die if you don't wear gloves while diving.

You will die if you use a air gun with your first stage.

You will die if you use a tire inflator with your first stage.

You will die if you don't dive new equipment.

you will die if you buy used gear.

you will die use self-trapping snaps (suicide snaps) and rings rather than bolt snaps.

you will die if you modify your gear in any way.

You will die if your straps aren't at least 2" wide.

you will die if you have padded straps.

you will die if you don't use a rigid back plate.

you will die if you don't carry any light during a day dive.

You will die if you don't have at least 5 glow sticks attached do you during a night dive.

You will die from entanglement if you have any glowsticks attached to you during a dive.

You will die if you don't check the deco charts before doing a dive no-deco profile that you do regularly.

you will die if you dive kelp forests without big freaking knife.

You will die if you use shears in place of a knife.

You will die if your knife isn't blunted.

You will die if you knife is blunted.

You will die if your knife is too big.

you will die if your knife is too small.

You will die if you dive plastic coated/covered weights.

you will die if you dive with buckles and fasteners not specifically designed for diving.

you will die if you use a plastic buckle or fastener.

You will dive if you put any sticker or other object to a steal tank.

You will die if you store your tanks horizontal.

You will die if you store your tanks vertical.

You will die if you carry anything in your facemask band while diving.

you will die if you dive a nav board.

you will die if you line attach a slate to yourself.

you will die if you use anything but nylon cord to attach anything.

you will die if you use nylon cord to attach anything.

you will die if you take duct tape diving.

You will die if you use duct tape while diving.

You will die if you drink fresh water while diving.

you will die if you use hanging deco tanks for deco.

You will die if you don't have ID tags on you while diving.

You will die if you don't have ID tags on you while diving.

You will die if your id tags aren't metallic (dog) tags.

You will die if you pre-stage/assemble your gear before arriving at the dive site.

Don't enjoy yourself diving, you will die if you have a good time diving.

--
John
What doesn't kill you, is simply biding it's time, luring you in to a false sense of security.

 

[vshearer]

You'll die if you aren't a supporting member on Scubaboard.

 

[Buoyant1]

You'll die if you buy ANYTHING online

You'll die if you buy ANYTHING from your LDS

(WrongJohn...HELLUVA first post! hahaha!)

 

[tep]

Oh,

You'll die too if:

- You use the words "Goggles" or "Flippers" to describe any dive gear.

You call it a "tank" instead of a "diving (or gas) *cyllinder*".

 

[Bryan]

You use VooDoo gas...

 

[ZzzKing]

If you mount your pony, instead of slinging it, consider yourself toast!

We have laws against mounting ponies in Texas... Most religions tend to frown on it as well.

 

[Bryan]

We have laws against mounting ponies in Texas... Most religions tend to frown on it as well.