Embarrassing and/or clever diving stories.

[Chazzjoh]

I have 2....

1) First dive of the season last year I got all my gear out, checked it out and put it all back in my bin and put it all back in making sure it was ready to be taken out in the order I need it. I woke up the next morning early, met my friends for breakfast and we went to the dive site. My very carefully packed bin was very carefully pushed under my dining room table and out of the wat... not in my car and at the dive site.

2) Got geared up, hiked down the cliff to our dive site. We drop down and I have to clear my mask. No big deal. About 5 seconds later my left eye is completely full of water. Clear again, no biggie. 5 seconds later full of water. I take it off, put it back on, clear again. 5 seconds later full of water. I think to myself, "Man i really need to get a haircut, this hair is causing a HUGE leak!" We spent 45 mins under.. I cleared my mask every breathe for the first 15 mins, after that I just tilted my head a bit and closed my left eye.

When we surfaced and swam back to the beach I took my mask off and there was a big crack in the frame where I had apparently smashed it on something.

 

[Wiggsy]

I know of a couple of mid-life crisis type spearfishermen...spearing way out offshore when the call of nature struck one of them (number two call of nature!). They were about 700 metres offshore and he figured that by the time he swam in, it would be too late! So, with limited options and accumulating pressure, he warned his buddy to stay well clear...carefully unzipped his wetsuit jacket...rolled down the inner long-john and, as he put it...he 'launched a blind mullet' into the sea. Satisfied with a job well done, he re-zipped his jacket, speared another few hapless fish and eventually returned to shore, none the worse for the ordeal.

Immediately they attracted the attention of a couple of young blonde ladies who admired their strings of fish. Feeling pretty pleased with himself and that all was good with the world, he started to peel his wetsuit off - immediately the girls ran off in horror holding their noses....
THE BLIND MULLET HAD NOT GOT AWAY!Rather it was liberally smeared over the inside of his wetsuit! Now that's embarassing!

 

[sigourneya]

I have had one or two, but two weeks ago i had one incident that was really embarrassing. A buddy and I were doing a night dive off a boat. He and I have dove together before and he's good at navigating (at least during the day)and I didn't have my compass with me since it was attached to my normal regulator that was being serviced at the time. I followed him and after about 30-40 mins he wrote that he had to surface. I just figured he had to fix something. He told me he got confused on which direction we were going. We were in the middle of two boats, one North, one South. He thought the north boat was correct and I thought the south one was. To make a long story short, we swam to the boat he thought was right (I was right, for once, normally I am directionally challenged) and encountered three people fishing. The guy had a gun and thought we were "scuba pirates" (because you know, there are TONS of pirates here in South Florida)and had us just hang off the boat while he radioed our boat. Our boat didn't answer so he called the coast guard to take us to the right boat. We hung there on the dark surface for about 10-15 minutes because he said he was too busy fishing to take us to the right boat. (I was silently freaking out, I hate the surface at night), but I was not going to argue with a guy with a pistol. The coast guard came and the most embarrassing part was being pulled onto the boat like a couple of beached wales by really cute guys! Lesson learned- have a backup compass at all times! I do have to say I have definitely mastered the compass now after much practice and had no incidences last weekend diving and leading a different group of people!

 

[4sak3n]

I know of a couple of mid-life crisis type spearfishermen...spearing way out offshore when the call of nature struck one of them (number two call of nature!). They were about 700 metres offshore and he figured that by the time he swam in, it would be too late! So, with limited options and accumulating pressure, he warned his buddy to stay well clear...carefully unzipped his wetsuit jacket...rolled down the inner long-john and, as he put it...he 'launched a blind mullet' into the sea. Satisfied with a job well done, he re-zipped his jacket, speared another few hapless fish and eventually returned to shore, none the worse for the ordeal.

Immediately they attracted the attention of a couple of young blonde ladies who admired their strings of fish. Feeling pretty pleased with himself and that all was good with the world, he started to peel his wetsuit off - immediately the girls ran off in horror holding their noses....
THE BLIND MULLET HAD NOT GOT AWAY!Rather it was liberally smeared over the inside of his wetsuit! Now that's embarassing!

Warhammer ...

 

[Narcd_dvr]

I was diving with 3 other divers and in this particular dive, I was carrying my 19cf pony, but I failed to realize it was only half full. Anyway, halfway through the dive, I started becoming positively buoyant, so I picked up this big rock so I can stay down. My dive buddies were looking at me like as if I'm crazy and were wondering why I was carrying this rock. At the end of the dive, I told them what had happened, just laughed their a**es off.

 

[G.uy]

i was working at the birmingham dive show (uk) and had one lady who couldnt decide between 2 pairs of fins. with one on each foot i suggested she take a walk and see which one feels better. off she went wondering around our stand with all the staff trying to to laugh too much

 

[SteveAD]

i was working at the birmingham dive show (uk) and had one lady who couldnt decide between 2 pairs of fins. with one on each foot i suggested she take a walk and see which one feels better. off she went wondering around our stand with all the staff trying to to laugh too much

You're EVIL!

 

[Charlie99]

Embarrassing?
I didn't notice the 45' momma Whale Shark because I was staring at the 8' baby. I thought everyone pointing at Mom were just warning me not to hit my head on "that dive boat" behind me. D'oh!:doh:

Embarrassing? Doing a solo dive, knowing by the lack of sound that there are no other divers nearby. Getting totally focussed on getting a closeup shot of an eel without getting bitten. Suddenly, something has grabbed my shoulder and is shaking it. After recovering from the shock, I look around.

It was a snorkler that had swum down to point out the manta that was doing repeated 360 degree flips above my head.

 

[ScubaJeff123]

Back in 1983, I went to Ginnie Springs for a dive with my brother. We both geared up and walked into the water with our BC's inflated. My brother gives the signal to go down, so I deflated my BC but I am still floating. My brother comes up holding my weight belt, which had fallen off. Now I always double check to see if my weight belt is still on.

 

[Druid]

I once tried to descend using my snorkel instead of my reg. That would be embarrassing enough, but I actually took the time to take the snorkel out of my mouth and then absent-mindedly put it back in again. I didn't get very far.

Yep, I've done this. What made it more embarrasing was that I was a DM buddying an OW student in his first pool session

Yes, indeedy. The boat bag was not present. It was, in point of fact, sitting quite despondently in the carport, having missed the first real opportunity to be useful it had seen in some time. Thankfully, while it was certainly despondent, it was not lonely. Both pairs of booties were there to keep it company.

With rising trepidation, I scoured the back of my vehicle to see what I might bodge together to fill in for the missing booties. I checked my fins to see if they'd work on bare feet. (They would not.) My flip-flop-style sandals were also of little, if any, utility. For the first time in memory, my spring straps became a curse instead of a blessing, as they were not short enough to hold my fins on without foot coverings of some sort or other

I left my boots drying outside our room when we were in Bonaire. As you say spring straps just don't work on bare feet Fortunately I was able to swap fins with my buddy, even more fortunately he had some of those grey Scubapro split fins, they're made from really soft rubber so they were quite comfortable.