Mer-maiden,
It sounds like you may have been at Ginnie (from fee, rental charge, female manager,etc...). I spent a lot of time at Ginnie learning the cave system. I also spent a lot of time surrounded by college kids who were smoking pot. If pot smoking bothers you, all you have to do is say something like, "Hey, would you guys mind not smoking here as my boyfriend is in the military." The UF guys party pretty hard, but they aren't Nazi's who hate the world. They would probably respect your wishes and apologize for offending you. This method would work better than quitting and complaining.
As for the staff, they typically react with whatever attitude they are given. If you are rude and demanding, they will probably react with the same emotion. Betik set up the military discount there 2 weeks ago to help the financial burden for active duty, so there are plenty of military sympathizers there.
I hate to hear that you had a bad experience. Shrew had a good point about going with the flow. I can't foresee everyone drifting as passively as he does (though it would be awesome), but the general principle is there. If someone is doing something that could HARM you, let them know. These folks were from North Florida and North Floridians are much more laid back than military people or people from large cities.
I hope your next dive experience is better.
Jamie