NetDoc, I think this has appeared on Rodale's top ten.
Tables would make a triumphant return.
An abacus and hourglass would be carried for redundancy.
The computer would work perfectly until you were just at the best part of the dive, ready to click that picture of the elusive Thatsashark, when the thing beeps not once, not twice, but thrice, displays a message that your camera is non compatible with this computer, and the thing begins to smoke. Yes the computer begins smoking underwater. WHY? Well, because it was the self-destruct mechanism, which was only placed in the beta version, which was for demo purposes only, and since you have used up your 14 minutes on this beta version computer, you must now by the 'real' version, or 'millenium' edition.
It would have chants to memorize during those deco stops... <to the tune of Batman music> na na na na LEADER!
The only place that the thing would work properly is in Lake Washington.
Too bad this wasn't about IBM, then it could be called Deep Blue, (for you non-chess fans, Deep Blue was a computer that played Kasparov)