Hi Matt,
First, kudos for caring about your buddy. And for having the moxie to share your experience here on ScubaBoard. Hopefully we can all learn by discussing it.
There are certainly some less than sterling actions by several folks in the situation you described. But, since we can’t change the world – only how we interact with it – here are just a couple of suggestions for what you might have done differently.
When asked by the crew if you were OK, you could have given the signals for “don’t know” (exaggerated shoulder shrug) and “buddy” (index fingers together, but arms held close together and fingers high so it doesn’t look like an OK sign). And repeat.
The first time the captain asked what the OK sign meant, you could have responded “It means OK, but I didn’t give it because … “
The more of these types of scenarios (real or speculative) we visualize and work through, the more likely we’ll have tools at the ready to react appropriately in similar, or even dissimilar scenarios.
All divers and crew are imperfect, including you and I. Well, at least one of us.
Please keep diving and keep sharing.
k