Is it my dive buddies or just me overreacting?

[kjunheart]

The safest way to dive is to plan your dive and dive your plan, right? A few times now, I have been with divers who just don’t pay attention to their depth. Then when I point it out to them, they are nonchalant about it and I feel like it is just me overreacting. I would like your input. Here are three examples:

1st instance. Diving in the Caymans, I am on vacation with my father who doesn’t dive. I scheduled a dive with a charter who assured me they can pair me up with someone competent. Once on the boat, I am told to stick with the DM and one other diver (admitted Newbie – 1st deep dive). We were diving a wall but the plan is not to go deeper than 90 feet (I was diving Nitrox 36%). Basically, the DM is hauling butt, swimming in front of us and loses us. All of a sudden, instead of following the DM, the other diver starts just starts swimming down. By the time I got her attention and got her to look at her depth we were at 105. I was annoyed because I was newly Nitrox certified and it made me nervous being that deep. BTW the DM never noticed we were not behind him until we got to our safety stop.

2nd instance. Diving (on air) with my regular buddy in Bimini. Another wall dive, the plan is to get to depth at the beginning of the dive, not past 100 feet and then work our way up the wall and see what we can see. I am insistent that I do not want to go past 100 feet because we had a tag along and I didn't know anything about his diving abilities. Next thing I know my buddy is at 118 and continuing down. I finally got him to look at the depth and gesturing to go up. He almost seemed unphased by the depth and I was concerned he might be narced, which he vehemently denied once we surfaced.

3rd instance. Recently did a wreck dive on air with a good friend who does not have many deep dives logged. Again, the dive plan is not to go below 90 feet. Next thing you know, she is below me and I am grabbing her tank to get her to stop descending. My gauge read 105 and she was well below me. Once we surfaced, she couldn't understand why I was so concerned. She said that she may have gone to 95 feet but it wasn't a big deal. It was only then did she look at her guage and acknowledge the depth.:light:

It is not that I don’t want to go deep, but I want to have more dives under my belt before I start planning real deep dives. (To me, anything below 90 is real deep). Am I doing something wrong here? Other than planning out the dive, what else could I have done or should do in the future.

 

[Doc]

Select your buddies with greater care. You have made some poor choices so far. It will change. Develop your communication and minimum requiremnts. You'll do okay.

BTW- deep is no great draw. The cool stuff is shallow.

 

[Meng_Tze]

What can I say that has not been said? I think YOU are thinking straigh to get some experience before going deeper.

 

[bradshsi]

I don't think you're over reacting. Whether by misjudgement, Karma or a combination of the two, you got stuck with some less than model dive buddies.

 

[Shasta_man]

First thing is you are doing quite a few dives which will help you acclimate to deeper diving. That's good to reduce any stress level.

I can't see how others not thinking could be your fault. All you can do is what is hammered into us all: plan the dive and dive the plan. You're not wrong for doing this. Stick with your plan. Don't let adherence to the buddy plan trump the dive plan. We're talking all the time about people that are oblivious to concerns, so this is nothing new.

You aren't in control of others bodily movements, so you can only stick with the plan yourself. Point out to them to come back up to you. Prior to the dive, explain to your prospective buddy that you will stick to the planned depths. The only thing you can do for buddies is dive with someone you know, though as you relate, that's not always foolproof. For "away" dives, perhaps you use a pony.

 

[Cacia]

You are right to be prudent about your MOD on EAN whether you have a little experience or a lot.

I am afraid you have experienced the reasons I like to dive solo, in a group. Not trying to push this...just would like people to understand that unless you have a consistent travel/ dive partner, you must choose to "go along" at times, be upset, feel compromised etc. However if you dive solo, in a group, your options remain open. Once someone in my dive group violates an irreduscible minimum intentionally, I have no obligation to continue with them. I would, at that depth, probably pair off with a prudent responsible diver or continue solo at a depth I was comfortable being alone at...around 60 feet probably. Of course, each person's experience and judgement will vary, so I am not advocating solo. Just know that your frustrations are not an issue that can be easily "solved" in the abscence of a regular buddy...unless you go DIR and dive with people who embrace strict protocols...another option, for you.

Another problem I see sometimes is well intentioned divers falling in love with the plan. They must repeat it in their heads like a mantra because some people stick to the plan even when conditions change...beware of that as well.

Depending on where you are, take a good long serious look at the average DM and consider who is better choosing your diving practices and risk management--you or her?

 

[runamonk]

Nope I think you did the right thing. Whether they like it or not they agreed to the plan ahead of time and should stick with it.

 

[ReefHound]

If you have agreed on a dive plan, you are not obligated to follow a buddy who blows the plan and heads down too deep, especially when you have an EAN MOD issue. Since this is a recurring problem for some reason, I would suggest you make it crystal clear to your buddy before the dive that you plan to stick to your depth limits strictly.

 

[JBRES1]

Well it looks as if you now have 3 dives below 100 feet.
Not the way I would like to get the experience, but you got it.
Pick better buddies .
Jim Breslin

 

[Diver0001]

It is not that I don’t want to go deep, but I want to have more dives under my belt before I start planning real deep dives. (To me, anything below 90 is real deep). Am I doing something wrong here? Other than planning out the dive, what else could I have done or should do in the future.

How clear was your pre-dive communication?

R..