Mr OP, before you go anywhere, do yourself a favour and go diving again- even if it's in a pool. From your description it sounds like your training was inadequate and potentially dangerous. For example you've stated that your air was turned off underwater, before attempting the Controlled Emergency Swimming Ascent known as CESA. This is a violation of safety- but one that can be confusing as there are 2 other separate skills: "responding to 'Out Of Air' where the instructor turns off your air, and you signal OOA. And the other where you signal OOA and breathe off the Alternate Air Source.
For your own safety in "pursuing your life-long dream", do a few more dives shallower than 45 feet in some easy conditions before travelling overseas to dive.
EDIT: glad to hear you will return to dive.
For your own safety in "pursuing your life-long dream", do a few more dives shallower than 45 feet in some easy conditions before travelling overseas to dive.
EDIT: glad to hear you will return to dive.