The last thing you want to hear after surfacing

[slowdiver]

As I was taking a person in scuba gear back to shore I had them ask how much air was left when the gage said 0? Is it like a gas gage in a car? Not really empty on 0 !!!!!!
Needless to say, I couldn't get him out of the water soon enough.

 

[PoorManDiving]

How about:

Did you see that Whale Shark/Manta/whatever when you went in?

or on the dive you skipped...... "It was amazing, the Whale Shark/etc must have been with us for at least 20 minutes".

 

[pipedope]

"Did you get the valve closed OK?"

"Closed????"
"I thought I was supposed to OPEN it."

....

"The good news is, the plug is holding perfectly in the last section of pipe."
"The bad news is the last section of pipe is broken loose from the rest of the run."

These are from conversations I have had comming out of the water.

 

[njrn2]

Where is the Duct Tape?

 

[archman]

From Rodales. http://www.scubadiving.com/article/0,7424,5-94-0-120,00.html

Top Ten Things Divers Don't Want to Hear Upon Surfacing

10) "Was your nose bleeding like that when you went under?"
Christina Booth of Brooklyn, N.Y.

9) "I thought YOU had the camera."
Sheila Sotherlund of Burleson, Texas

8) "Sorry Honey, I guess I must have forgot to put that rubber ring thing back on your video camera housing."
David Pohl of Edmonton, Alberta

7) "Um, don't move. Maybe if it thinks you're dead it will go away."
Tina of PuertoLaCruz, Venezuela

6) "Oops, I think I was off with my compass heading."
Jeff Huggins of Grapevine, Texas

5) "Welcome to Cuba."
Jim Scalzo of Hollywood, Fla.

4) "Crikey, aren't you a little beauty! Help me get a tag on her, Terri."
philip.lewin@us.abb.com

3) "Hey, where's that fancy camera of yours?"
Jon R. of Fairfax, Va.

2) "You've got guts. We all got out when the Great White showed up."
Jon R. of Fairfax, Va.

1) "You didn't happen to see the outboard while you were down there, did you?"
onetime of Hope, N.J.

 

[Jeddah Aquanaut]

The last thought you DON'T WANT TO HAVE b4 jumping off the boat: "Did I remember to turn on my air?"