I realize all of the passionate responses are good for the posters based on their own personal experiences... and that's all I was looking for. We all, apparently, see things from our own perspective regarding how the instructors and DM's are to be viewed (and, perhaps, valued).
Personally, I recognize that PADI is getting money for the course they require for their certification as the agency. I recognize that the dive shop owner is making a few pennies as well. I have no idea what the instructor is getting paid (if anything... and that matters NOT to me in this regard). I recognize that the DM's are likely to be volunteers "for the love of the sport."
Anyway... here's what happened:
FIRST: my son and I are now certified EFR and Rescue Divers. We are both quite proud of our accomplishments. And while we certainly recognize that we are in no position to go out and get giant red "S"'s tattoo'd on our chests (Superman reference), we do feel that the certification gives us a small bit of peace-of-mind as we find more ways we can give back in this broken world in which we live. If we can help... we're happy to help in the best way we know how.
SECOND: our instructor and the two DM's were absolutely fabulous. We had not met any of them before, and they were great at putting us at ease while giving us very serious instruction and demonstration. We learned a lot from them over the course of 4 days.
THIRD: the quarry was dank and disgusting (though much warmer than I was anticipating). Viz was as close to ZERO as I've encountered. Everything was done by "feel." Air temp was above 90, and we were out there for about 12 hours over 2 days. These guys worked hard (and I'm sure some would say, "That's what they were there for.").
FOURTH: I offered a small gratuity to each of the DM's... Neither of them wanted to accept it (genuinely... not an act). They both looked absolutely stunned that I was even offering them something. Nevertheless, I put it this way, "You are welcome to keep this for yourself and get yourself a nice dinner or some bottles of wine to take home to enjoy with your better halves... or you are welcome to make a donation to DAN or some appropriate marine organization." They both accepted it, but quite half-hearted.
FIFTH: I offered a somewhat larger (but still small) gratuity to the instructor... who absolutely, flat-out, no-questions-asked refused to accept it.
FINALLY: My son and I appreciated VERY MUCH the gentle approach to teaching an important subject. This wasn't just learning how to improve our own skills for the sake of being better divers (though there is certainly an element to that). This was learning skills that could help us help others. From where I come from... there are few things more important than that. We did what we felt was right, given the situation... which, after all, is the first thing we learned in this Rescue course.
We look forward to taking our O2 specialty course in a few weeks... on our way to Master Divers, hopefully within the year.
Jeff