Mustard Dave
Contributor
Can you just tell her you are diving with a DM and just do what you want?
Wife will not let me dive without a dive master..
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scagrotto
Contributor
The only thing my wife says I'm not allowed to do is cave diving.
I think the important thing is to find out exactly why she wants to impose this limitation. If she's diving herself she presumably doesn't think it's so dangerous that it can't be done safely, unless perhaps she only did it because you wanted her to. Assuming she was completely willing to become a diver I can only assume she has fears about your ability to avoid problems or solve them if they happen. That may be based on her opinion on your abilities or her own, her perception of the diving conditions in the quarry, or perhaps her feelings about the people you might be diving with.
I think the important thing is to find out exactly why she wants to impose this limitation. If she's diving herself she presumably doesn't think it's so dangerous that it can't be done safely, unless perhaps she only did it because you wanted her to. Assuming she was completely willing to become a diver I can only assume she has fears about your ability to avoid problems or solve them if they happen. That may be based on her opinion on your abilities or her own, her perception of the diving conditions in the quarry, or perhaps her feelings about the people you might be diving with.
oldschoolto
Contributor
Thats "LYING", If you need to lie to your spouse.... You got bigger problems in life...
Jim...
Become a Moslem or Mormon and get another wife who dives 
lemke
Contributor
You're lucky... my wife makes me call the Coast Guard first, LOL.
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Knew this would get lots of immediate responses, & all good advice. I haven't had this problem. At the start I always dived with regular buddy (fellow newbie). I dive a lot solo (not really much choice where I live and where I dive away from home)--when possible I text my wife after each dive (she knows approx. when I start the dive). She can't do anything if I'm done for, but I figure if I get swept out to sea with the tide/current she knows where I am and who to call. Not happening in a quarry. When I'm in NY each summer (7 weeks) I dive once weekly. No point in texting back to my wife who is home in Canada as she doesn't know where I am--the dives are very benign and usually people around. If I happen to be with a buddy/on a charter, no texting.
Side note: I agree with those suggesting further training up to Rescue Diver. You are SUPPOSED to be able to dive with ANY buddy, new or not, in "conditions similar to those where you were trained" to paraphrase. This is a pet peeve of mine. Two new divers don't have any training regarding real rescue scenarios. When to take more training and Rescue has been debated here a lot. I say as soon as you are basically good with buoyancy and comfortable with using the equipment (when I took Rescue I had 22 post OW dives including AOW and the required CPR of course). I feel it is wise for new divers to seek buddies with rescue training if possible (if not, you go my route).
Side note: I agree with those suggesting further training up to Rescue Diver. You are SUPPOSED to be able to dive with ANY buddy, new or not, in "conditions similar to those where you were trained" to paraphrase. This is a pet peeve of mine. Two new divers don't have any training regarding real rescue scenarios. When to take more training and Rescue has been debated here a lot. I say as soon as you are basically good with buoyancy and comfortable with using the equipment (when I took Rescue I had 22 post OW dives including AOW and the required CPR of course). I feel it is wise for new divers to seek buddies with rescue training if possible (if not, you go my route).
If she will let you DRIVE to the quarry she should let you DIVE at the quarry. I should think the driving would be a lot more dangerous then the diving, as long as you were appropriately trained, diving with in your training, and have reliable buddies.
Talk to her. Does she have a specific worry that you can address and resolve? Is it just a generalized anxiety about diving and why specific to diving. Or is she this way about other activities. I bet you can workout a compromise that you both can be happy with.
Talk to her. Does she have a specific worry that you can address and resolve? Is it just a generalized anxiety about diving and why specific to diving. Or is she this way about other activities. I bet you can workout a compromise that you both can be happy with.
EastEndDiver
Contributor
Quit diving and take up knitting I'm sure SHE would approve.
Well... on the one hand, if she's worried about you then you have something to be happy about
Look. Realistically the open water course teaches you how to dive. You have all of the knowledge and all of the skills you need. But with 4 dives you have NONE of the experience you need.
Say it was a driver's licence and you had never been in the car without an instructor telling you where to turn or when to change lanes. At some point you still need to take the step to go out solo (or with your buddy in the passenger's seat instead of the instructor).... but you probably wouldn't go on the freeway in the middle of rush-hour.
It's like that with diving too. You have to recognise that you need to go slow and build up experience. What your wife has to understand is that this is a normal part of the process. In order to address her concerns, make a shallow dive. Limit to say 5 metres or so and listen to her. Take her concerns into consideration and try to make a dive plan that will help her get on board with you doing this. Keep the dive short, keep a larger than normal air reserve... whatever will help her to feel comfortable that you're in control. Know what I mean?
R..
Post edited (removed) because this is in Basic Scuba and is a flame free zone.
See if your local shops have DM's going to the quarry that are willing to dive with you. If it costs a little extra, perhaps it is worth it to bring your wife's comfort level up until she is ok with you going without a DM.
See if your local shops have DM's going to the quarry that are willing to dive with you. If it costs a little extra, perhaps it is worth it to bring your wife's comfort level up until she is ok with you going without a DM.
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