Worries when diving

[MXGratefulDiver]

how do i make her comfortable in the water?

I don't think you can ... or should try. First, because you lack the experience to understand what's causing her discomfort ... or how to address it. Secondly, because it's rare that someone involved in a personal relationship can also act as instructor ... even when fully qualified. Being a loved one tends to conflict with the objective position needed as instructor ... any critique you might offer would tend to be taken at a personal level that would interfere with the learning process.

Find a competent instructor ... one who is willing to work the problem through with her. Her issue appears to me to be less one of skill than of confidence ... and that is a harder problem to resolve. She will most likely benefit from some time in a non-threatening environment like a pool or shallow beach where she can "stand up" from time to time while she works through the issue. A competent instructor will know how to push her, and when to back off and give her some space to find her own resolution.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[adutto]

I don't believe that is a task for you.
She should get a proper review from a professional instructor. He can asses her current status and take the best actions.

 

[cool79]

hmmm is there any good instructor in singapore?
i did heard a lot of instructors in singapore are mostly out for the money instead of teaching the student correctly or correcting their mistake. like for my OW and AOW. i did not learn how to do basic recuse during my OW and did not learn how to use SMB during my AOW. and for the wreck dive, it's just bring us down to take a look at the wreck...

 

[tracydr]

Nobody can ever " make" somebody else comfortable in the water. I suggest she work with an instructor while you stay away.
I had an issue with mask clearing and I'm not sure when or how it developed. I didn't have it when I was first trained. I believe it was because I didn't practice it in my first 50 dives and became afraid to clear my mask or take it off underwater for some reason. It eventually became a big issue that I really had to work on, especially in colder water. I spent a lot of hours in my pool taking my mask on/off on/off. Breathing off the snorkel without a mask, removing my mask and swimming across the pool while breathing off my regulator. I still do these drills regularly because I know this is was an issue for me.
Mask clearing and losing one's mask are absolutely essential skills. You can and probably will experience mask flooding and possibly a loss of mask while diving. If this causes panic, it could turn into a life-threatening event, when it should really be a non-event.
I carry an extra mask in my drysuit pocket. 2 weeks ago, in a single lobster dive to 90 feet in cold water,I had a mask kicked off ( and recovered), mask flooded, and a free-flow regulator because I had a bit of sand in my regulator from an earlier beach dive.
All of these were non-events because of training and experience. I frequently practice skills in my pool, taking my mask on and off, switching from my primary to secondary regulator, etc.
I believe your wife needs a lot of time with an instructor or at least a really good, experienced mentor, who can spend many hours in the pool going over skills again until they are boring, then out to the open water to do it all again and again and again. During this time, perhaps you can find a mentor to work with you? Two new divers, one just below the level of panic, are not a good match.
in addition, I suggest that you both take some extra courses, Advanced Open Water, Peak Performance Bouyancy and Rescue Diver, as soon as possible.
If you are both near a UTD or GUE instructor, you might look into their recreational level courses because they go more in-depth into skills and should go a long way towards increasing your wife's confidence. The recreational level courses for both GUE and UTD may provide the quality of instructor you are searching for, since you state that you're having trouble finding a good instructor. Both of these agencies have very rigorous Instructor quality control.

 

[TSandM]

I would highly recommend you talk to Alan Lee, who teaches out of Living Seas. I have been on-line friends with Alan for almost seven years now -- although I haven't actually seen him teach, I know he is a patient and very empathetic person. I think he would be an excellent person to work with your wife, and if he doesn't think so, he will tell you, and refer you to someone he thinks will be better. Alan is here on ScubaBoard, too . . .

 

[Rhodesaz]

I would also ask Alan Lee to check out her mask. Proper fit is very important.

Breathing out her nose is ok, provided she has the proper mask for it. I have a one way valve in my my mask. This is how I learned. Breathing out my mouth requires I think about how I breath. Weird, but that was how I learned.

 

[Guba]

Diving is like most other activities that carry a degree of risk, and therefore divers should have a mind-set that allows them to manage potential "crises". People who routinely face potentially hazardous situations...firefighters, soldiers, police, pilots--heck, drivers on a freeway...ALL need to develop the same mental skills in order to cope with their particular environment. Good managers of risk are almost always those who constantly visualize the "what COULD go wrong" aspects of what they are doing. This isn't "disaster thinking"--that's a whole other ballpark--it's mental preparation that allows them to rationally and quickly select options to resolve the "crisis" situation in a favorable manner. Of course, being able to recognize the potential hazards is only a part of the process. One must know and have readily at hand the mental "tools" to cope, and this means the training has to be thorough, completely mastered, and hopefully practiced often. When both of these elements are present...mentally "rehearsing" a crisis and then knowing what to do in response...THEN the diver (your wife) will achieve a much higher degree of comfort in the water.

That said, I agree with Bob and others who suggest that this be done by an objective instructor who has the training and patience to be both professional and thorough.

 

[TMHeimer]

how do i make her comfortable in the water?

Leaving out the dive skills and equipment-- swimming with good form, floating/treading, entering water from shore in big surf, snorkelling (and free diving while snorkelling down to 10 feet or so--thus having to equalize). Just general water stuff.

 

[fnfalman]

how do i make her comfortable in the water?

See if anybody around your area that offers free diving class.

I thought that after four years of continuous diving, I was comfortable in the water. I took a basic free diving class just for the fun of it and came back with much greater confidence in my water skills, comfortability AND much improved air consumption.

 

[CT-Rich]

I would say the problem is not with the training (important, but it may not really be the issue). Her discomfort may be more about diving that comfort. You may want to talk to her about it. Is she diving because she feels it is important to you, rather than being important to her? if she is doing it because she feels she has to, she may be doing it for the wrong reason. If she is uncomfortable in the water she may prefer to lay in the sun and read a book while you dive. snorkeling may be something you can share for awhile until she decides that she wants to dive for her own enjoyment. With her being that uncomfortable in the water, you should give her the chance to step back until she is motivated for herself. If she has a freak-out moment underwater, she may never go back, or worse, someone could get hurt. A good talk may be what she needs the most.