One of the things that's been hardest for me with diving is accepting help.
When I started diving, I tried to do EVERYTHING for myself. If somebody stepped in because they saw I had something twisted, or was having a little trouble getting into my gear, I felt embarrassed and inadequate. It was my JOB to get it done myself. Anything somebody helped me with was something I'd failed to do alone.
I've gotten better about all that, but today, something happened which pounded home the realization that I still haven't got it all straight.
I descended today with my light cord wrapped up in my waistband. It's a long story how it happened, but the fact is that, on descent, I discovered I could not get the light cord free. I kept trying, and when I got to the bottom, my buddy was in a position where he couldn't easily see what was happening, but one of the divers from the other buddy pair was. He came over and asked if I was okay, and I told him I was fine.
I was.
I wasn't distressed or frantic. I had a light cord problem, and I had a strategy for solving it (undoing the waistband and tracing the cord back to the canister). We weren't deep, the viz was good, and there were no other factors creating stress. I could do it myself.
But in fact, I futzed with the cord for a couple of minutes without being able to clear it, and eventually, I had to signal MY buddy to come over and straighten it out for me. The whole sequence could have been abbreviated, had I simply said to the first guy, "No, I'm not okay, I have a light cord problem, can you help?" He would have sorted it out neatly, thought none the less of me, and we would have gone on with the dive. But somewhere in my mind, it was an imposition on him for me to ask him to help -- He wasn't MY buddy, and I still thought this was a problem I could solve by myself.
There's a reason this is a buddy sport. Sometimes you need a little help, whether it's getting a strap untwisted while you're gearing up, or carrying something heavy (I helped my buddy carry his doubles today), or sorting something out underwater. Pride has no place in it -- Ask for, and gratefully accept, the assistance you need, or sometimes just the assistance that's handy and useful.
When I started diving, I tried to do EVERYTHING for myself. If somebody stepped in because they saw I had something twisted, or was having a little trouble getting into my gear, I felt embarrassed and inadequate. It was my JOB to get it done myself. Anything somebody helped me with was something I'd failed to do alone.
I've gotten better about all that, but today, something happened which pounded home the realization that I still haven't got it all straight.
I descended today with my light cord wrapped up in my waistband. It's a long story how it happened, but the fact is that, on descent, I discovered I could not get the light cord free. I kept trying, and when I got to the bottom, my buddy was in a position where he couldn't easily see what was happening, but one of the divers from the other buddy pair was. He came over and asked if I was okay, and I told him I was fine.
I was.
I wasn't distressed or frantic. I had a light cord problem, and I had a strategy for solving it (undoing the waistband and tracing the cord back to the canister). We weren't deep, the viz was good, and there were no other factors creating stress. I could do it myself.
But in fact, I futzed with the cord for a couple of minutes without being able to clear it, and eventually, I had to signal MY buddy to come over and straighten it out for me. The whole sequence could have been abbreviated, had I simply said to the first guy, "No, I'm not okay, I have a light cord problem, can you help?" He would have sorted it out neatly, thought none the less of me, and we would have gone on with the dive. But somewhere in my mind, it was an imposition on him for me to ask him to help -- He wasn't MY buddy, and I still thought this was a problem I could solve by myself.
There's a reason this is a buddy sport. Sometimes you need a little help, whether it's getting a strap untwisted while you're gearing up, or carrying something heavy (I helped my buddy carry his doubles today), or sorting something out underwater. Pride has no place in it -- Ask for, and gratefully accept, the assistance you need, or sometimes just the assistance that's handy and useful.