How to control breathing while descending?

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To answer the question in your headline, there are no recommendations on how to breathe while descending, or how fast you should go down.
 
I'm roughly your size, please forget about the consumption of your girlfriend, her lungs is have the size of yours, you will always be heavier on air than her.
As many said, if you're rushed, you'll breath hard, and shallow. Diving in warm water can also add to that feeling of anxiety. What you can try as well is as you descend take a deep breath, pause and equalise, exhale. Don't hold it too long, only a momentary pause while you equalise. This may help you get into a relaxed rhythm cause you have a thousand things you think about while descending and that will help you do the top to bottom check as you go down.
Another consideration, how well does your wetsuit fit? If it is too tight around your chest it may contribute to your issue. Wetsuit can totally impair chest movement and restrict breathing.
 
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None of us here are psychologists (not that I know of). When I boat dive I go down the anchor line as fast as possible (but not at the expense of losing sight of a buddy). This is the opposite idea from go slow, stop, breathe, etc. But maybe something to try (beware of any equalising problems of course)?
 
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Sounds entirely like a CO2 retention issue to me..

Cut down your exertion
getting kitted, entering the water and at the surface...

Don't hang about at the surface... it labors your breathing workload and, often, inexperienced divers expose themselves to unnecessary workload through involuntary stress and movements.

Contrary to 'popular' advice... get in, get down to 5-10ft depth... get neutral, get horizontal... and then relax yourself.
 
You want to be able to "float" down, not pull or fin yourself down. This will help avoid task-saturation. Two things I have found helpful in achieving some serenity during descent:

--get friendly with your bottom dump valve, since if you descend sort of "head first" as many do, that now becomes your "upper" deflate valve. Use it to stay slightly negative, especially early in the descent when you are still kinda "floaty" from trapped air in your suit and from mild anxiety about breathing and checking on your buddy behind/ahead of you on the line.

--pinch nose, clear ears *before* they start to feel pressured and definitely before they start to hurt. You don't need this as a distraction speeding up your breathing.

If you don't over-breathe during zero to let's say 20 feet, then you probably won't start doing it thereafter. And when you approach 30 feet or more, you should be sinking slowly, as all your little air pockets bubble out or just compress. Relax and enjoy the slow down-elevator ride, pulling on the anchor line only enough to keep traffic from stacking up behind you. About 10-15 feet before your target depth, start using the inflate button in short mini-blasts as a gentle "air brake" which will slow your descent, then stop you just as you reach the "target" depth to begin your horizontal dive tour.

And try a mental outlook of "it's going pretty well" rather than "uh-oh, what's next??" This is part buoyancy-balance, part mental-balance. It will come in time. Til then, "act as-if", and you'll catch on each time a little more.
 
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I recall having a similar problem with consuming a disproportionately large amount of gas on the descent. In my case, the cause was partly anxiety and partly just descending too slowly. As for the anxiety, I felt the descent was the most stressful part of the dive, perhaps because of the feeling of not being able to see the bottom/destination. Also, just the act of getting situated in the water--those DM's yelling to "DIVE DIVE DIVE" to get people off the boat in a hurry didn't help--caused me to breathe hard. So by the time I hit the water I was already breathing hard. And then the plunge into the unknown. The problem gradually diminished with experience doing those kinds of dive.
 
Yes, good point about sometimes feeling rushed into gearing up on a boat or getting into the water. I felt that way at first. Take your time--they have to wait for you.
 
Yes, good point about sometimes feeling rushed into gearing up on a boat or getting into the water. I felt that way at first. Take your time--they have to wait for you.

The reason for the "DIVE DIVE DIVE" thing I mentioned is that these are "hot drops" where the boat is hovering over the dive site, not moored, and they don't want divers drifting apart or off the site. So they have a legitimate reason for getting people off the boat fast. And that is why I really dislike that kind of diving. I hate being rushed.
 
The reason for the "DIVE DIVE DIVE" thing I mentioned is that these are "hot drops" where the boat is hovering over the dive site, not moored, and they don't want divers drifting apart or off the site. So they have a legitimate reason for getting people off the boat fast. And that is why I really dislike that kind of diving. I hate being rushed.
In a hot drop situation, the drop should not start until everyone is fully ready for it. There is no reason to be rushed during preparations. Once you are in position to dive, you need to be ready to go, and you need to drop when told.
 
In a hot drop situation, the drop should not start until everyone is fully ready for it. There is no reason to be rushed during preparations. Once you are in position to dive, you need to be ready to go, and you need to drop when told.

I know, but it often seemed like we were lined up like paratroopers poised to stream out of a plane (which I suppose this really is analogous to). Even if I'm all geared up and have done my gear check it can feel rushed. I recall feeling the pressure to not dilly-dally and believe I breathed faster because of it. Avoiding those kinds of "hot drop" dives and otherwise making sure I don't splash until I feel I am good and ready (and calm) makes a difference.
 
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